Lonestar23 Posted March 11, 2007 Posted March 11, 2007 Basicly, I've developed feelings for my friends girlfriend. Well I say friend with the slightest of friends because he's been treating her with lies after lies and after me and his girlfriend started hanging out and discovering these lies I developed some feelings for her. We've been hanging out a lot and shes breaking up with him. I need to stop this. I cannot develop feelings for this girl. I even had a dreamed that we was bf/gf... this is going be nothing but drama and trouble, i know this. This is wrong but how should I go about handling this.
MoonGirl Posted March 11, 2007 Posted March 11, 2007 Tell her she needs time to heal and that because you have feelings for her, you can't be around to help her in person.
Author Lonestar23 Posted March 11, 2007 Author Posted March 11, 2007 i duno if i should tell her i have feelings for her.... honestly i really think that is a bad idea.
MoonGirl Posted March 11, 2007 Posted March 11, 2007 Oh! I didn't realize she didn't know. Yes, you're right. Don't tell her! Can you make yourself very scarce for awhile? Work a lot, go out with friends, etc. I would think your friend would be pretty pissed if you start seeing his girlfriend!
norajane Posted March 11, 2007 Posted March 11, 2007 Keep your distance, don't go out with her alone, don't spend a lot of time talking with her...just be very busy with work or something. Do you think it would be a disaster because of her bf/your friend, or is there another reason?
Author Lonestar23 Posted March 11, 2007 Author Posted March 11, 2007 Keep your distance, don't go out with her alone, don't spend a lot of time talking with her...just be very busy with work or something. Do you think it would be a disaster because of her bf/your friend, or is there another reason? Yea, I think it would be a disaster if anything happens between me and her because of her bf, which is my friend also. Well we are not in good terms right now because hes a a-hole and he knows it but if anything would of happen between me and her I would be more of a a-hole then he would ever been. His gf and I get along great and we always joke around and have a great time and honestly if we didn't start hanging out 1v1 this wouldn't have happened. But sometimes you just never know when things happen. btw: all 3 of us are really close, we would all hang out a lot of times. So moongirl, you think I should just cut contact w/ her correct? What if she calls me to hang out which we have schedule something for next week already. What should I tell her?? That I'm busy? But what if she KNOWS i'm not busy..lols This is what happens when you have no control over your own feelings...lols
norajane Posted March 11, 2007 Posted March 11, 2007 Tell her that you don't want to get caught in the middle with her and her bf. Tell her you know he's an ass, and has treated her badly, but as both his friend and hers, that you just don't want to create more drama right now.
MoonGirl Posted March 11, 2007 Posted March 11, 2007 Yea, I think it would be a disaster if anything happens between me and her because of her bf, which is my friend also. Well we are not in good terms right now because hes a a-hole and he knows it but if anything would of happen between me and her I would be more of a a-hole then he would ever been. His gf and I get along great and we always joke around and have a great time and honestly if we didn't start hanging out 1v1 this wouldn't have happened. But sometimes you just never know when things happen. btw: all 3 of us are really close, we would all hang out a lot of times. So moongirl, you think I should just cut contact w/ her correct? What if she calls me to hang out which we have schedule something for next week already. What should I tell her?? That I'm busy? But what if she KNOWS i'm not busy..lols This is what happens when you have no control over your own feelings...lols Norajane gave you good advice. If you can handle yourself in group situations, then I think it might be fine seeing her in those situations. But I would avoid hanging out with her 1on1 and certainly avoid letting her know how you feel. So, not necessarily cut contact, just don't be her support system and hang out with her 1on1.
Author Lonestar23 Posted March 12, 2007 Author Posted March 12, 2007 Thank you both of your advices but I was wondering is it 'OK' just like be really good friends and suppress your true feelings? For example: Still do things together as 'friends' and just put my true feelings aside?
whichwayisup Posted March 12, 2007 Posted March 12, 2007 By doing that, you're going to suffer. Why stay close friends with someone you want? You will miss other opportunities, maybe miss the boat because you're harbouring feelings for someone who can't be yours. No good can come of this.
Erik Posted March 12, 2007 Posted March 12, 2007 Don't fall into the 'just friends'-trap. There's no such thing between a man woman. And you are in very great danger, because of you going together the three of you. On the other hand, you seem to have mixed feelings about your friend because he lies to her. You could always decide to burn your friend and take off with the belle, but remember friends are MUCH harder to come by than girlfriends.
Author Lonestar23 Posted March 12, 2007 Author Posted March 12, 2007 I hate to say this but...all of you are right. I got to burn the bridge on this or this is all going to blow up...and probably blow up in my face. argh.. thanks again guys & gals
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