Sun_Conure Posted March 10, 2007 Posted March 10, 2007 I had a bf several months ago, we broke up but continued to be friends. He recently began dating a girl. They had a very strange arrangement. They met only once a week for a dinner and sex (sometimes). She almost never met him during the week unless she needed him to drive her to and from the airport (for work). He called her his friend. That continued since the end of November till Feb 14. On that date, they had a very nice date, exchanged gifts, everything was very romantic. After that he began to think that maybe they were in a bf/gf relationship. At the end of the frist full week of March, she dumped him. That was very unexpected to him, but I kind of expected something like that. Anyway, now he is devastated sort of and wants to be alone. On the other hand, I am interested in the guy. He told me that he still liked me and everything. Is there a chance of him coming back to me now? What should I do? Is there anything I could do? Well, my plan right now is to give him space and time, leave him alone and see what happens. Any other ideas?
magichands Posted March 10, 2007 Posted March 10, 2007 You seem to know a lot about his situation. Whilst that is typical of a friend, I would caution you that it's likely you will find it difficult to get out of that role. In other words, he sees you as a friend, and not more than a friend.
Author Sun_Conure Posted March 10, 2007 Author Posted March 10, 2007 No, I do not really know that much. But I do know what he was up to almost all the time. We chatted almost every day and he would tell me what HE personally was doing. When he was with her, he told me that he had "plans." We never talked about his relationship either. He never asked me advise about that and he did not even tell me the reasons for their break up. They probably spent weekends together before she broke it off. In other words, I do not think that I am in friends zone but I am not sure if he would want to start anything with me again due to our past history together.
Author Sun_Conure Posted March 10, 2007 Author Posted March 10, 2007 I know that there is no way I could make him like me and want to be with me. That's up to him. So is it better to continue talking to him or should I become less available? What is the best strategy in my situation? If I have any chances, I do not want to ruin them now.
magichands Posted March 10, 2007 Posted March 10, 2007 In other words, I do not think that I am in friends zone but There is no such thing as the friend zone, so don't worry about that. My point is that he would never have told you what he did if he ever had thoughts of getting back with you. Of course, anything is subject to change. Just not likely, that is all.
Author Sun_Conure Posted March 10, 2007 Author Posted March 10, 2007 magichands Oh, I see what you are saying. The fact that he talks to me means that he does not see me as a girl anymore? He did same thing though when I was in a relationship and he wanted to date me that time. After I broke up with my bf at that time, I kind of showed to the first ex that I wanted to try again. For various reasons it did not happen. One of the reasons was that I was too pushy. But he did pursue me too. But anyway, I guess I will just back off, become unavailable and allow him to chase me IF he wants to. Because if I continue being his friend who is interested in him, he would NEVER want to get back together with me. Right?
magichands Posted March 10, 2007 Posted March 10, 2007 But anyway, I guess I will just back off, become unavailable and allow him to chase me IF he wants to. Because if I continue being his friend who is interested in him, he would NEVER want to get back together with me. Right? Sounds perfect to me. (Never say never, again.) A little mystery just increases your chances, methinks. Hopefully people with real insight will soon post on your thread.
AriaIncognito Posted March 11, 2007 Posted March 11, 2007 I'm not a person of real insight, so, sorry Magic :-) However, I would like to post this. Do you really want to play sloppy seconds to that girl anyway? You two broke up for a reason. Whatever that reason is, it wasn't working out for one or both of you. Try to keep that in mind as any situation presents itself. You deserve something that is good for the both of you, not some girls remnants of his current broken heart. Your job isn't to pick him up after another girlfriend hurts him. Your job is to find someone to be with that doesn't let you go in the first place....
magichands Posted March 11, 2007 Posted March 11, 2007 Your job isn't to pick him up after another girlfriend hurts him. Your job is to find someone to be with that doesn't let you go in the first place.... That's keeping it real.
Author Sun_Conure Posted March 11, 2007 Author Posted March 11, 2007 He was my rebound guy. that is why we broke up in the first place.
Author Sun_Conure Posted March 11, 2007 Author Posted March 11, 2007 I just wanted to clarify. My question is NOT if it is a good idea to get together with him. My question is What should I do in order not to ruin my chances with him. I really like the guy
magichands Posted March 11, 2007 Posted March 11, 2007 He was my rebound guy. that is why we broke up in the first place. If you want to clarify something, then this would be a good start.
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