What do I have?

[JohnM]

I'm stuck at the moment as to what I really have with this girl right now. I don't know where I stand and it's constantly on my mind.

 

She came down a few weeks ago as a friend of mines and not much happened that night. She came back a week later and we hit it off and ended up kissing and sleeping together (nothing more) that night. I saw her brieflt the next day but we never really got any time together to talk again. She then came down a week later for a gig and we met afterwards and were really close and affectionate again and getting along great. Same thing as last week as we were physically close, hugging kissing and the like and we slept together again. I don't want to take it that step further atm as I'm new to all this and don't want to rush myself, which she understands. We texted each other alot over the week gap before she came back down to see me again. It was her friends birthday and we once again met up and got along great, were really closely together and we slept together a few more times and talked alot. I'd been kept up a good few nights unable to sleep for thinking of her and as a result I was a bit exhausted after she'd left. We both said how much we would miss each other and I sent her off at the station, flowers in hand.

 

After she had gone I decided that what we had was beyond just a brief connection and so changed my status to 'in a relationship' on my myspace page which she noticed straight away and sent me a private message asking me to change it as although she wanted to progress into that, that she wanted to get to know me better. I understood and changed it back and thought since I was perhaps coming on a bit too strong that I should perhaps give her some space and I didn't text her for a week. I did text her after a week during the weekend and we exchanged a few texts so to speak. I talkd to her a bit on msn the next day but she was a bit cold and didn't give me much to work with. Thing is I am still thinking alot about what I should do, theres the whole 'playing games' thing which I am not a fan of, I prefer to know whats going on and express how I am feeling rather than not contacting her for long periods of time although I can understand the motivation behind it.

 

At the moment I just don't really know where I stand and am feeling as if its just me making an effort in this. She never contacts me and I'm in between not texting her for a while to see whether she will actually text me or not. But at the same time I'm thinking does that make it seem as if I don't care enough about her? What do I do, go up and see her, try and find out exactly whats going on? I don't like to talk about important subjects over the phone/text/msn messenger.

 

I'm a little more than confused and lost right now.

Thanks in advance

John

[Poboy]

couple of things here

how come you only meet her on weekends , is she living in a different town .

 

although she said that she wants to get to know you better , has she done things to do that. do you really know her that well and vice versa... have you two actually discussed about being in a committed relationship rather than just sleeping whenever you two meet ... if she doesnt , then you have to take the initiative and talk about all this and find out if she is really into you or just fooling around , tell her what you are looking and see how she responds, you will get the answer.

[JohnM]

Yes, she lives in a city an hour away by train. I do know her well I believe, we've talked alot about what kind of music we like, about family and her life back home. Her hobbies and interests and likes and dislikes and from hanging around with her when her best friend is there alot about her school days and past bfs. I didn't really think too much to bring up the idea of whether we were in a relationship at the time but I do clearly remember bringing up the question of whether she was only mine which she said she was. I mean I've said that I would go and see her soon but I don't want to head up there and possibly stuck there if things don't plan out if I bring up heavy talk on a relationship. Perhaps I am better waiting for her to come back here where she has the option of going to her friends house if she needs to?