missmebaby Posted March 8, 2007 Posted March 8, 2007 I got out of a year long relationship in August. He had cheated on me and lied to me so many times and we fought constantly for the last month so we broke up. I was devastated but 3 months later I met my current boyfriend and things moved very fast between us. Because of my last relationship I have been insecure and a little paranoid with my new relationship but i have barely let it show. Every once in awhile Ill tease my new boyfriend about his "other girlfriend" and sometimes when he goes out ill ask him a few questions about where hes been and what hes been doing. We've been together for 3 months now and for the first 2 1/2 months my boyfriend was practically obsessed with me, always calling me, taking me out to dinner, wanting to see me all the time, and telling me how much he liked me and could see himself marrying me. I was so happy I finally found a great guy but in a way he was getting a little annoying because he seemed very clingy. Well in the past few weeks ive realized how much I love him and cant stand the thought of losing him. But in the past couple weeks he seems different. He still calls me a few times a day but not as much as he was, and when he does call me he barely talks when we used to talk for at least an hour. Anytime I wanted to get off the phone he used to say things like "no i want to talk to you." Now he just says "ok ill talk to you later." Also, he doesnt say I love you when we get off the phone unless I say it first. He doesnt ask to see me as much and whenever i ask him why hes different or if he still wants to be with me he acts a little annoyed at me. Anytime I couldnt come over to his house he would insist on coming to mine just so he could see me, but now he doesnt even offer. But anytime I actually see him in person things are back to good. I went to his house last night and he seemed so excited to see me. He kept kissing me and holding me and he was saying I love you. The whole night we had a great night together. Except for one thing. I woke up at 4:00 in the morning and rolled over to see him laying there watching TV. I asked him why he was still awake and he said it was because hes been thinking about things all night. I asked him what he was thinking about and he said he was thinking about everything he has to do with his business hes starting and how he isnt going to be ready to get married anytime soon because theres alot of things to do before that. It kind of made me feel like hes changing his mind about me because he had talked about how he couldnt wait to marry me and now he says he wants to wait. Well this morning when I left he kisses me goodbye and says "love you baby ill see you tomorrow." So I think everything is better except that he called me a half hour later than he said he would and then he barely talks to me. So I finally said im gonna get off the phone and he says ok, and we hang up. I cant help but be really worried about how hes feeling about me. Hes a very blunt person and says he would definitely tell me if he doesnt want to be with me again and anytime we're together things are great, but hes also been different and more distant lately. Is this just our relationship maturing and the honeymoon period is over? Or is he starting to get bored with me? Is there anything I can do to find out, or anything I can do to get him to be the way he used to be?
Lauriebell82 Posted March 9, 2007 Posted March 9, 2007 wow same thing happened to me. my bf does the same thing. we have been together for 6 months now. the first 3 months, he would tell me he loves me CONSTANTLY always want to see me, talk for hours on the phone, ect. that faded and now he isnt as lovey dovey as he used to be. i dont think u have anything to worry about, it seems from waht uve said that he does still express how he feels and stuff, just not as frequently. yes its a little disapointing, but its also nice to get to a comfortable committed relationshipy part. oh the marriage thing..dont worry about it too much. my bf started freaking out because we were real serious, and asked me if i was expecting to get married soon. so dont worry about that, im sure he still loves u. just let ur relationship progress naturally.
oppath Posted March 9, 2007 Posted March 9, 2007 You've been together for 3 months, I'm sorry, marraige shouldn't even come into conversation until you've been together longer in my opinion. I wouldn't worry about anything yet. People have bad weeks, etc, and it is natural for affection to slightly slow around this point. When you start to know someone well sometimes you run out of things to say.
kribby Posted March 13, 2007 Posted March 13, 2007 Hi, I don't think he is sick of you... I think he was just having a bad day or moment. Have you ever woken up and worried about the future? That was just what he was doing... just freaking out...
Kamille Posted March 13, 2007 Posted March 13, 2007 But anytime I actually see him in person things are back to good. I went to his house last night and he seemed so excited to see me. He kept kissing me and holding me and he was saying I love you. The whole night we had a great night together. Except for one thing. I woke up at 4:00 in the morning and rolled over to see him laying there watching TV. I asked him why he was still awake and he said it was because hes been thinking about things all night. I asked him what he was thinking about and he said he was thinking about everything he has to do with his business hes starting and how he isnt going to be ready to get married anytime soon because theres alot of things to do before that. It kind of made me feel like hes changing his mind about me because he had talked about how he couldnt wait to marry me and now he says he wants to wait. Well this morning when I left he kisses me goodbye and says "love you baby ill see you tomorrow." So I think everything is better except that he called me a half hour later than he said he would and then he barely talks to me. So I finally said im gonna get off the phone and he says ok, and we hang up. Don't worry about a thing. You are feeling insecure for reasons that have more to do with your previous relationship then this one and it sounds to me like you are looking for clues that would confirm that your feelings of insecurity are 'grounded' in something real. they aren't. Read the exerpts in bold above. He is excited to see you and he says he loves you when it matters. What is likely changing it that he is moving from the infatuation phase to the commitment-let's make this work phase which, yes, involves thinking about financial matters. Don't you think that his thinking ahead is a good thing? I'm happy for you! It really sounds like you found someone who's into you. Now relax and avoid letting insecurities make you miss out on the great times you are having with your new guy!
BlueEyedSarah Posted March 13, 2007 Posted March 13, 2007 I doubt there is anything for you to worry about in your relationship. I do think you should ease up a little bit with the questions you ask him though because that might scare him off. Don't think so much of marriage because you have only been together for 3 months! You don't want to jump into that commitment that fast. Its a big step. I think you should give him understanding because it sounds like he's mind is on other things, like he told you while he was still awake, let him know you are there for him if he wants to talk about what is troubleing him.
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