Lauriebell82 Posted March 8, 2007 Posted March 8, 2007 ok situation going on that i cant understand for the life of me. a lot of the regulars know about my relationship, but background for those who dont. me and my bf have been together for 6 months. we are both in our mid 20's, so yes we are still young. its LDR, but we see each other every weekend. we spend the entire weekend together, 24/7. my spring break is coming up next week, so i will be at home (where my parents and my bf both live, i live at college) i will be home for about a week. the issue is spending the night with my bf. i told him i was coming home next tuesday night and staying at my parents. i am working at a grocery store over break (where i work over the summer and breaks when i come home) so i told him i was coming home on tuesday night and spending the night at my parents. he asked me why i wasnt coming there to spend the night. my confusion, is because of a conversation we had last weekend. he talked about how it is weird that we dont see each other at all and then spend the entire weekend together 24 hours a day. he then started saying he'd never had that kind of relationship and never lived with anyone, and thats he's not ready to do that. thats totally fine, i mean i'm not expecting us to move in together anytime soon. the dilemma is the fact that i have no clue if he wants to spend all those nigths next week with me. spending every night together is not living together, but when i tried to say i was going to spend a nigth at my parents he questioned why i wasnt coming to his apartment. on the weekend when i see him i usually do spend the whole weekend at his apartment..thats the weekend though not a whole week. so i'm trying to get everyone's take on this, i dont want to overwhelme my bf, honestly i dont mind staying at my parents some of those nights. i would love to spend every night with him, but i want him to want that as well. so my question is how do i go about this? should i let him ask me if i want to spend the night? should i just say i'm sleeping at my parents? we have arranged to spend thurs, friday, and sunday nigth together (he's going skiing with his friend on sat) but tuesday and wed are up in the air. what should i do, i want to give him his space but i want to spend those nights with him too. he keeps sending me these mixed messages, which is why i'm so confused!
oppath Posted March 8, 2007 Posted March 8, 2007 tell him you'd like to spend that first night at home with your parents to catch up with them but you'd like to spend some nights at his house too. Then let him decide which nights he'd like.
LoveLace Posted March 8, 2007 Posted March 8, 2007 tell him you'd like to spend that first night at home with your parents to catch up with them but you'd like to spend some nights at his house too. Then let him decide which nights he'd like. Sounds like a good plan to me. I mean, it sounds like he definitely wants you to spend the night or spend nights with him, he just doesn't want to LIVE with someone, that's a big difference. So if you stay with him a few nights next week but not every night, there is the space you were talking about.
Author Lauriebell82 Posted March 9, 2007 Author Posted March 9, 2007 thanks for ur replies..i told him that i am going to spend tuesday night at my parents house and then we had already arranged for thursday and friday nights to spend together so i'll let him "invite" me over on wednesday. this is so hard, maybe because he kind of threw me for a loop when he said he wasnt ready to live together. i mean i know its only been 6 months, but our relationship is really serious. i guess i figure (this may be stupid) if he loves me and loves spending time with me, why would he have a problem spending every night together? its confusing because he sends me mixed signals a lot. is spending the night every night together the same as living together?
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