lokiandbartleby Posted March 8, 2007 Posted March 8, 2007 In Fall 2005 I met a girl who was in a relationship with another guy, we fooled around when they were going out, and last summer (06) they broke up. I waited until the fall before we had sex as FWB, and then during Christmas she cut off the sex because she wasn’t over him yet (she talked to me over the holidays crying because he wouldn’t come see her when he was home). A month later we are back to having sex, and I tried to move things into a relationship. Last week she told me that she has tried, but at this point she still isn’t over him, and can’t go into a relationship or have sex with me anymore. Throughout the whole time, we have become very good friends, she has told me Im the only real friend she has ever had, and her opinion on that is still the same. I want to make sure that when she finally is over him, I can still be in the running for a relationship with her. She knows this, but at this point, she has said no, because I remind her too much of him. I believe once her feelings for him fade then she can get back with me, but in the meanwhile what should I do? Currently I see her 4+ times a week as friends, we watch movies, and lie on each other in bed. We also talk for hours a day on instant messenger. I initiate the physical contact, because right now I’m having a hard time getting over her. Should I keep spending so much time with her being very close? I feel if I go no contact, it would ruin her emotionally, because she has no one else to go to when she is hurt (I have been way too accommodating to her unfortunately- she has said this is one of the reasons why she doesn’t want things to go further, because I need to grow a pair). So, should I give up on her and just be friends, or should I take some steps to try and make her come back to me for a relationship. If the latter, how should I go about this? In the end I want to make sure I still know her in 5 years, but optimally as her boyfriend.
Guest Posted March 11, 2007 Posted March 11, 2007 I think you should just be friends and things will develop and progress naturally in the way your wanting it too. but you can't push it. Let her know you're there for her....and she'll most likely come around one day. sometimes, it just happens over night...but that night might not be for a few weeks or months...you know? You kinda almost made it sound like though, that you didn't want to be her friend if she didin't want to have a relationship with you. Is this true?
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