Guest Posted March 8, 2007 Posted March 8, 2007 Well at the 1st of this month, after constantly thinking about my ex, worrying what shes doin, if she's met someone, etc. I looked at the date and thought "Wow, its been 5 months since we broke up", and just barely less than that that we've seen each other. It kind of woke me up a LITTLE BIT, and I somewhat thought of her less and basically just gave up. When I see her online resisting the urge to IM her. Well let me start by giving u the setup. Theres this local radio talk show here and we know several of the guys that work on it. Its ur typical crazy morning show and every so often they have these live remotes which is just a huge party in the morning. Drinking, stupid games, etc, all on the air. Well for the second straight year their having one at this bar for st. patty's day. My friends and I all went last year and it was the time of our lives. So for the past 6 weeks since theyve announced this, we've been preparing to go. I had an away message up last weekend about my friend sending me one of these radio guys number cuz i lost it. 3 days later (last night) My ex IM's me and asks if I got his number cuz she had it. (they became friends after me taking her to some of these live remotes last year) I just told her already had it. That led to us just our usual bs'ing about her teaching, adn the possible snow comming last night. Then she says "Do you care if I go to the st. pattys day party for the radio show, I figured you wouldnt but just want to make sure. We all just want to have a good time" Turns out, since a few of my friends are going who's gf's are friends with my ex, they want to go too. Well I didnt know really what to say since I cant tell her NOT to come, its not my bar, and she would probably show up anyways, so I just answered with a simple "no" which she replied with a smiley face. I just wasnt sure how to react to that. I couldnt have given her a hint that after 5 months this still gets to me, that woudlnt have been good would it? We've been talking online for a while in a friendly tone, but I always figured it would be different if we ran into each other in person, since we hadnt seen each other in so long. So now, this party, which i said last year was the time of our lives is going to be ruined for me as I have to look at her, and watch her partying, and listen to these radio guys just drool over her as they do with all the girls they see. They loved her last year but toned it down since we were dating. She'll be with my friends gf's and I'll be with my friends, it will be unavoidable to not cross paths. I jsut dont know how Im going to act. I want to act like nothing bothers me and I've been over her for a long time, even tho that is not true, but Im so scared that seeing her will just bring back all emotions for me and I wont be able to handle it. I went to a friends ******* the other day adn there was a new ppicture of her and my ex out for their bdays, just seeing that sunk my heart, seeing how pretty she was. I cant imagaine what its going to be like here. My main concern is afterwards I dont want to get sent into another funk like I did right after the breakup, sometimes seeing someone can do that. I just dont know if I responded the right way to her question, or why she all the sudden was considering my feelings when she probably would be there wehter I said I dont want to see her or not. She already ruined my friendship with two my friends gf's cuz they all still hang out, now shes gotta put me thru this. Thanks for that
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