spinback Posted March 8, 2007 Posted March 8, 2007 Hi, I broke up with my girlfriend on the 31st December. Two days later I text her saying I loved her and I was sorry. She replied telling me she loved me and she was sorry. We didn't get back together. A week later I text her saying I was sorry I hadn't given her happiness, but that I wished her happiness in the future. She replied on MSN saying she was happy with me, and that she wished me happiness in the future too. After that, contact was fairly minimal. We spoke a couple of times on MSN when we made sure we were both alright with the split. After that, I realised I couldn't talk to her again until I knew for certain I was over her. So, I blocked/deleted her and decided not to text her again. She text me on the 29th of January, asking how I was and saying that she missed me. Stupidly, I replied, saying something similar. She never replied after that. It's now the 8th of March. I haven't said a word to her since. I still care about her -- a lot. I'm nowhere near as hung up on her as I used to be, and can go nearly a full day without thinking about her -- BUT, I do still want to know how she is. She was my best friend for over two years and I just want to make sure she's OK. Obviously though, I'm slightly worried that if I contact her and find out she is happy and is with a new guy or something, I'll be upset. I'm very happy being single and am enjoying the freedom, but at the same time I have a slight feeling it'll hurt me if I find out she's happy with a new guy. Sounds stupid I know (I've had a bit to drink before writing this -- sometimes that's the only way the truth comes out)... but I just wanted to know what other people thought. Thanks.
whichwayisup Posted March 8, 2007 Posted March 8, 2007 It ended on an OK note, you love her, she loves you...Leave it at that. If you push it, you could either hurt yourself or her. It's best to move on and not look back.
oppath Posted March 8, 2007 Posted March 8, 2007 It's only been just over 2 months considering February is 1/2 week short. Give her more space. If you are ever to reconnect as friends, it will happen organically. I'm sure she is fine. If she's not fine, there is little you can do to help. I understand that you care for her and still value her, but 2 months is still a raw period of time. You can't be friends yet. Let her go. Give her two more months. You aren't ready to see her with another guy. She's probably not, but you aren't ready for it. For now, focus on healing yourself. You are not fully moved on and that should be your priority right now, not her.
Author spinback Posted March 9, 2007 Author Posted March 9, 2007 Thanks for the replies. I've been thinking more and more about contacting her these days, maybe because I've found myself thinking about her less and have begun to wonder if friendship would be possible (that makes sense in my head even if it doesn't to you ). But I guess the fact that I've been thinking that just goes to show I'm not entirely over her. NC has done wonders for me, but it just seems wrong that the girl I've been so close to and have cared for so much over the last two years should simply disappear from my life completely, for ever.
luvtoto Posted March 9, 2007 Posted March 9, 2007 Wow, this sounds familiar! For four years after my ex-fiance broke up with me, he stayed in contact with me. Drunk dials, showing up at my doorstep at 1:00am, calling me when I had my accident, called me days after I started dating someone new. He was just checkin' in, so he said. When we would talk, it was clear that he was keeping tabs on me through the grapevine. Just one question... Why? I can understand if you were the one dumped, but that is not the case. Why would you let someone go that you still want? Was love just not enough?
Island Girl Posted March 10, 2007 Posted March 10, 2007 It ended. It can seem strange that someone who was so much a part of your life isn't anymore but it is better this way. That space is open for someone else now. You need to move toward that eventuality. There will be someone else in time who you will build a relationship with. Hopefully it is healthier this time. The next one may or may not work out. If it ends, you move on. And the end result is eventually you find the person that you commit to as a partner for life.
ratingsguy Posted March 10, 2007 Posted March 10, 2007 Give it more time, brother. Even if you feel that you're ready to be friends, you probably aren't. You need to make sure that you're over her, wait a few months after that, and then maybe go ahead and call her. NC will work to your advantage if you stick to it. I am, and I'm on day 35.
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