greeneyedcasey Posted March 8, 2007 Posted March 8, 2007 My name is Casey and I dated this girl for 6 months, everything seemed to be going fine. We never got into fights, were never got annoyed by eachother, We basically just loved being around eachother. it never got boring because we always tried new things. We never had sex because she said she wasnt ready, and i never had a problem with that, i told her that when she was ready we would try. Her parents loved me just as much as she did, they always invited me over for dinner and to watch movies. We never yelled at eachother or got into fights, but we did argue a little just like any other couple does, but we always seemed to say sorry and make up and forget about it. But she said I was over protective, and I dont know why. I just asked her to call me when she had a break at work and stuff, just to see how her day was going, and if she didnt call i would always ask her why she never called, and she always got mad at me for that and she would say that i need to trust her more. She broke up with me about a week ago, and ever since then Ive been really depressed, Ive tried everything, I asked her to give me one more chance, but she said no. At first she said she just wanted a break because she needed to get her head straight because her family fought all the time and yelled at her. I was completlely ok with that, just as long as I could still talk to her and stuff. and she was alright with it too. But then the next day, she told me that she hated my guts and never wanted to see me or talk to me again, I asked her why, and she said because everyone told her that I beat on my girlfriends which I would never think about doing, and that all my ex Girlfriends told her I was a alcoholic, and I havent drank for 2 years. Then my other ex's told her that I cheated on them, And I promised her I never cheated on anyone, and I havent. ever. but she said I was outnumbered 5 to 1 and that she thought I was lieing. and she said that she read in a book that couples shouldnt be reliant on their partners, and that she relied on me to much, and that she thought she was a dissapointment to me, and she never was. and she said she felt way to uncomfortable being with me. And I just dont know what to do, I still Love her with all my heart, I wanted to be with her for the rest of my life, but now I dont know if I ever will be with her again. PLEASE!!! help me. How do I get her to trust me again, and be with me again, I only want to be with her. how do I prove to her that I love her, and that none of those things were true, and that I never ment for her to be uncomfortable. PLEASE HELP ME!!!!!!!!
Guest XYZ Posted March 8, 2007 Posted March 8, 2007 Casey Listen to me. You cannot make her love you. You have got to back off and leave her alone. All you are doing is convincing her that her decision to break up was the right one. You can't convince her or or guilt her into giving you another shot. Show her you love her by respecting her wishes. That means just stop. It's called "going dark". Don't tell her you are gonna leave her alone just do it. During that time stay busy. Friends, sports, school, chores. I don't care what it is but anything to stop you during those weak moments from contacting her. Plus it will give you time to realize there IS a life without her. You are making things worse by contacting her. I hope you follow this advice.
whichwayisup Posted March 8, 2007 Posted March 8, 2007 Give her space. The more you call and pressure her, the more you're going to push her away. It will be hard on you, but back off. Maybe if enough time passes and she misses you, she'll get back intouch again...But until then, leave her alone. Keep busy, hang with your buddies, try to have some fun.
mandy81marie Posted March 8, 2007 Posted March 8, 2007 I agree that you need to just give her space. Seems like the reason she broke up with you is because you were always hovering over her. Having her call you every break during work and asking why she didn't call seems alittle too "stalker-ish". It's going to take some time for her to trust you again, especailly if she's been talking to your exes and feels like you are a bad guy to be with. Just give her time and space.
Lauriebell82 Posted March 8, 2007 Posted March 8, 2007 i agree that u should just try to give her some space..having her call u on her breaks and then giving her a hard time when she didnt probably overwhelemed her. the only thing i can say about her saying that ur ex's told her stuff about u, if it really isnt true then maybe she was trying to test u. she might have been making that up (not positive but probably) to see what u would say and if u would admit to that crap. thats kind of immature actaully, and she was wrong for doing that. if u want her back, let her go, and if she loves u she'll come back. if she doesnt (and she might not) then try to move on with ur life.
Sand&Water Posted March 8, 2007 Posted March 8, 2007 RE: The 6 month mark is precisely the time when a woman starts to truly feel and sense the weight of the relationship -all elements and future plans included. She's been dodging the entire meaning of you in her life, and what it means to have a meaningful relationship. By doing so, she gets to accomplish her goals: Finding as much fault in your life [past and present] to convince herself that you aren't the one for her -when in reality, she knows that you treated well, but isn't willing to come to terms with her life and what it means to be happy. She hasn't figured stuff out. Her emotions are in one place, whilst her logic is driving her into another direction. I reassure you, the best thing you can do is cease contact. No more phone calls. No more texts. No more visits. No more e-mails. IF she contacts you -don't respond. Don't give her attention nor the time of day. She is a young woman dealing with all sorts of stressful situations in her life. The least you can do is respect her choice, and give her space. You will know in the next few months, if it was meant to be. IT IS in her hands now. Sand&Water
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