pricillia Posted March 8, 2007 Posted March 8, 2007 Hi, I went to theraphy yesterday even though I did not want to go. She asked me about my past relationships, how long they lasted my parents, my work... She asked me if I was inlove with him... and also stated that she feels that he is not a nice man, because of the deciet(not sure if I spelled that right. ) She also said that as far as MM lying he did more then lie he decieved. She said that he will feel me pulling away to end the relationship and he will not like it and make it difficult. I truly don't see him making it difficult, I see that part as over...I think he thought I was always pulling away but was not, I was just being myself...like calling once or twice a day instead of 4 or 5... I did talk to him yesterday though and he asked me to call him before I went to sleep, I did not. Today he called me and left me a message sarcasticly thanking me for calling him and said "I know what is going on" whatever that means??? Anyway I can't think about anything in reguards to the relationship, if I loose him then ok... I am just so tired.
whichwayisup Posted March 8, 2007 Posted March 8, 2007 His actions will be making it more difficult for you to move on. He will try to suck you back in - Like what he is doing now...Calling you alot when you don't call him and playing games - like leaving messages on your answering machine. Start ignoring him and don't even try to worry about how he is doing. He's got his wife. Give the therapist time, you two need to get to know eachother abit better and learn to trust her so you will feel comfortable enough to really open up to her and not hold back. Remember your goal - To get the strength so you can finally end your affair and move on with your life. She can help you get there....May be hard to do, but you'll be happier and better off.
Motor35 Posted March 8, 2007 Posted March 8, 2007 Hi Pricillia! Congrats on going in to see a therapist! That is a big step and I know it seems daunting. One thing that my therapist said (one of the things that I remember the clearest) about moving on from failed relationships was - to get closure you must not have any contact. He also told me to never forget the wonderful memories, but it is time to move on with no contact. You can do it! It is so very hard at times, but all in all it is best for you. You deserve a man that can and will commit to you completely.
stillhere Posted March 8, 2007 Posted March 8, 2007 I'm proud of you P!! Hopefully this therapist can help you realize that he is not right for you. I don't like the games he plays with you and all the control that he has. He's torturing you and it's just not right. The calling and hanging up on you and the voicemails, it's all rediculous. If this man was single, i too would tell you to leave him. He sounds like an abuser, someone who needs control over all aspects of his life and has no intention of bending to please the ones he loves. Listen to your therapist, and i hope it all works out for you. Keep us updated.
Jinxx Posted March 8, 2007 Posted March 8, 2007 Don't give up on the therapy, give it some time. Huge step in getting you through this.
puddleofmud Posted March 10, 2007 Posted March 10, 2007 "She said that he will feel me pulling away to end the relationship and he will not like it and make it difficult. " I, too, am quite proud for you! Dragging yourself to a therapist is not what one would care to do! The above statement should let you know that your therapist is experienced as she understands the components of abusive behavior and is just looking out for you. See how you feel after a few months. Stick to it, girl, you've got nothing to loose! Big Big Warm Hugs to you!
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