LuckyCharm2 Posted March 7, 2007 Posted March 7, 2007 I just really need to get this out... My fiance and I have been together for a year and 5 months, got engaged 3 months ago and plan to get married some time maybe in June/July. To make this as short as possible, I believe in no sex befor marriage, I told him from the start and he said he really wants to be with me and I might change my mind as time goes on. he told me then he only slept with 2 girls with a condom. I don't know why but some thing didn't feel right, I felt he wasn't telling me the whole truth, plus he kept in touch with his ex which I had no problem since I knew she ment alot to him as a friend. or months I was tempted to look in his history box, and in the history box in his ICQ where he would talk to his ex. but I didn't cause I knew it would be wrong. fast foward October 2006, when we were planing to move to Canada and had already bought the tickets, he tells me he has slept with 4 girls and with 2 of the girls he slept without a condom (Back a few months ago I had already asked him to take an HIV test) but he confessed befor I made him take the test he was too afraid cause his ex was cheating on him and thought she may have given him some thing.... I felt so torn, I almost wanted to dump him and next morning we had a long talk and he said he wasn't even with those girls for more than 3 months relationship and that he's been with me for so long cause he knows i'm the one for him and for me to think I'm his first when we have sex. I forgave him... In Canada, I asked him if when we first met he still had condoms, and he said no, he finished them up wuth his ex and started talking on and on about how much his ex loved sex and she could never get enough of it. o.k so that really pissed me off. ^that was about 2 months ago... Last week I just couldn't take my gut feeling any more, I had to know if some thing went on with her while he was with me. I'm aware it was terribly wrong of me to snoop in his history box with his ex but I had the right to know some thing like this befor I would have married him. In his history box a week after we became a couple i saw he wrote to her how much he misses the sex they had and she asked if he has any one, he didn't even answer, all he kept talking about is about the great sex they had and said he would like to meet her tomorrow to have sex on the beach (Date October. 6th 2005). The day later on the ICQ he writes to her "Last night was so great i'll never for get it, your an amazing girl!" then on Nov. 1st they write random stuff, then all the sudden she says "You acted to strangly yesterday at the beach." he says back "So did you!" I confronted him about it and he says he never met her in the end (Oct. 6th) he said all the did was talked on the phone and got horny > and he didn't see a bit deal about it, I told him I consider that cheating! another convo that happened on March of 2006 he told her he's dying to have sex with her but he can't cause he has a gf, he didn't see any thing wrong with that when I confronted him. I just asked him why didn't he dump me if he was still talking like that to his ex?!! He says he didn't meet her in the end but he did some time else in November! > I HATE HIM FOR DOING THIS TO ME, I SHOULD HAVE BEVER BECAUSE HIS GF IN THE FIRST PLACE! I told him this time I want him to get rid of his ex for good, take her off his icq and never talk to her again, he [color=Red]said he would get rid of her since she means nothing to him and i'm the one he wants to be with for the rest of his life. this was 4 days ago and since then he hasn't even taken her off his icq. that couldn't mean good for me.... [/color]:-[ I'm afraid our relationship might be over, I'm not able to look at him the same, I'll never be able to trust him again, I was never a jealous person thats why I never asked him to stop talking to her, but now every time he'll be talking to a girl I can't help wonder if he thinks about cheat on me with her or some thing in the like... I still need to confront him about the day he met her at the beach...I wonder what excuse he'll give me this time
JackJack Posted March 7, 2007 Posted March 7, 2007 I wonder what excuse he'll give me this time. He wont give you anymore excuses if you do not allow him to. With that being said, you should dump him, then there are no excuses from him. There is no trust there, he cheated, and probably would again. You need to ask yourself if this is how you want to spend your life.
Guest Posted March 7, 2007 Posted March 7, 2007 GET RID OF HIM NOW! He's not being respectful of your feelings--what kind of fiance is this? Do you really want to a marry a man you cannot trust??? I think you can do better. If he truly loved you he could have waited to have sex again with you. Honestly. Get rid of him
Davis Posted March 7, 2007 Posted March 7, 2007 LuckyCharm. What you MUST understand is that a cheater is, by definition, liar. Much like an addict or an alcoholic, they will deny and lie everytime about their use. Obviously they were at the beach together. A cheater will have an "answer" for everything. That's what makes them so dangerous to you and your emotions. I learned this one the hard way. My ex cheated on me twice. In retrospect, almost everything that came out of her mouth was a lie. She was a professional liar. ALWAYS trust your intuition!! I know you want to believe him. But cheaters are liars. They will use straight up lies, white lies, bend the truth, tell half-truths or omit the truth. Do yourself a big favor: LEAVE NOW!! Do not fall victim to his lies and BS. This type of person doesn't change their spots. You want to be married with three kids and ten years down the road you find out he's been having affairs for the last six years? As much as it hurts now, you have to get rid of him. It will be, and I promise, ten times worse if you stay with him!! Good luck!!
Guest Posted March 8, 2007 Posted March 8, 2007 I just really need to get this out... My fiance and I have been together for a year and 5 months, got engaged 3 months ago and plan to get married some time maybe in June/July. To make this as short as possible, I believe in no sex befor marriage, I told him from the start and he said he really wants to be with me and I might change my mind as time goes on. he told me then he only slept with 2 girls with a condom. I don't know why but some thing didn't feel right, I felt he wasn't telling me the whole truth, plus he kept in touch with his ex which I had no problem since I knew she ment alot to him as a friend. or months I was tempted to look in his history box, and in the history box in his ICQ where he would talk to his ex. but I didn't cause I knew it would be wrong. fast foward October 2006, when we were planing to move to Canada and had already bought the tickets, he tells me he has slept with 4 girls and with 2 of the girls he slept without a condom (Back a few months ago I had already asked him to take an HIV test) but he confessed befor I made him take the test he was too afraid cause his ex was cheating on him and thought she may have given him some thing.... I felt so torn, I almost wanted to dump him and next morning we had a long talk and he said he wasn't even with those girls for more than 3 months relationship and that he's been with me for so long cause he knows i'm the one for him and for me to think I'm his first when we have sex. I forgave him... In Canada, I asked him if when we first met he still had condoms, and he said no, he finished them up wuth his ex and started talking on and on about how much his ex loved sex and she could never get enough of it. o.k so that really pissed me off. ^that was about 2 months ago... Last week I just couldn't take my gut feeling any more, I had to know if some thing went on with her while he was with me. I'm aware it was terribly wrong of me to snoop in his history box with his ex but I had the right to know some thing like this befor I would have married him. In his history box a week after we became a couple i saw he wrote to her how much he misses the sex they had and she asked if he has any one, he didn't even answer, all he kept talking about is about the great sex they had and said he would like to meet her tomorrow to have sex on the beach (Date October. 6th 2005). The day later on the ICQ he writes to her "Last night was so great i'll never for get it, your an amazing girl!" then on Nov. 1st they write random stuff, then all the sudden she says "You acted to strangly yesterday at the beach." he says back "So did you!" I confronted him about it and he says he never met her in the end (Oct. 6th) he said all the did was talked on the phone and got horny > and he didn't see a bit deal about it, I told him I consider that cheating! another convo that happened on March of 2006 he told her he's dying to have sex with her but he can't cause he has a gf, he didn't see any thing wrong with that when I confronted him. I just asked him why didn't he dump me if he was still talking like that to his ex?!! He says he didn't meet her in the end but he did some time else in November! > I HATE HIM FOR DOING THIS TO ME, I SHOULD HAVE BEVER BECAUSE HIS GF IN THE FIRST PLACE! I told him this time I want him to get rid of his ex for good, take her off his icq and never talk to her again, he [color=Red]said he would get rid of her since she means nothing to him and i'm the one he wants to be with for the rest of his life. this was 4 days ago and since then he hasn't even taken her off his icq. that couldn't mean good for me.... [/color]:-[ I'm afraid our relationship might be over, I'm not able to look at him the same, I'll never be able to trust him again, I was never a jealous person thats why I never asked him to stop talking to her, but now every time he'll be talking to a girl I can't help wonder if he thinks about cheat on me with her or some thing in the like... I still need to confront him about the day he met her at the beach...I wonder what excuse he'll give me this time my boyfriend of almost four years has cheated on me at the beach too..during spring break of 2005 @ south padre in Texas..he also never told me the whole truth until one of his guy friends nearly told me first. Trust me, dump this guy he'll lie and lie and lie to you & you deserve better!
norajane Posted March 8, 2007 Posted March 8, 2007 ALWAYS trust your intuition!! I know you want to believe him. But cheaters are liars. They will use straight up lies, white lies, bend the truth, tell half-truths or omit the truth. Do yourself a big favor: LEAVE NOW!! Do not fall victim to his lies and BS. This type of person doesn't change their spots. You want to be married with three kids and ten years down the road you find out he's been having affairs for the last six years? Absolutely right on. Save yourself a bigger heartache down the road, Lucky. Get out now, because Davis is absolutely correct.
Spoonandfork22 Posted March 9, 2007 Posted March 9, 2007 i knowwww its so much easier said then done, but get out now. it will be so much easier in the long run. you planned on MARRYING this person and clearly dont know a thing about what hes been doing and saying behind your back. and youre right, you WONT trust him again. it is a very very hard thing to do, i know from experience. im so sorry this had to happen to you but be happy you know now rather than after you married him. please, be good to yourself. leave this man.
Salicious Crumb Posted March 9, 2007 Posted March 9, 2007 Don't marry him. Trust me on this one. My wife cheated on me before we got married...only I didn't find out until a few years and 2 kids later. Now I don't trust her at all and am damn resentful towards her for not telling me before I stood at the alter with her like a fool. I cannot tell you how you are going to feel years from now, but in my opinion, you will never gain 100% trust back...and thats not a good way to be in a marriage much less start one out on...believe me..I know! Break it off with him and find a faithful man...they are out there.
ridingthebulls Posted March 9, 2007 Posted March 9, 2007 Lets face the obvious: you've only been together a year and five months and he's already cheating on you! You know how bored he will get after 3, 5 or more years and 1,2 + kids later? Your marriage is doomed to fail if you accept that behavior. By letting him back you are accepting it and he will do it again no doubt! What's another whore when he's done it before on you 4 times already? No condom?? Sickening. And on the other end, your virginity must mean a lot but I guess you'd rather him be screwing other women instead of you? I don't know if it's the lack of sex from you or if he just is a twisted sex addict who needs help. I guess both.
Recommended Posts