MotherGooze Posted March 7, 2007 Posted March 7, 2007 really I want to hate him so much for dumping me again. Yeah, i tried to be with someone with fear of commitment...that didn't turn out very good. And everytime he broke up with me a week or two later he was back again. It was like one giant emotional rollercoaster. The bad part is that i still love him. If he would be back, I'd do the same thng over again, because I want to be with him so badly.... ugh that's sounds so weak I know! That's why, I really want to hate him and disgust him. I want to hate him so I stop thinking about him and that if he comes back; I can just slam the door in his face. I don't know how to cope with it really, I'm just so angry. Some days I feel great and relieved; I feel released from the suffering he brings me. Other days I just cry and miss him so badly. He treated me like crap; how can I miss him so much?
Icantletgo Posted March 7, 2007 Posted March 7, 2007 I am in the same situation except my guy eventually just cheated and left me for someone else. (I'm sure you have read my posts). You are probably an intellegent woman yet your actions show other wise. Why? Cause you love him. And why can't you hate him? Cause you keep thinking that "Oh this is the time. this will be the time he'll stay with me and realize that he loves me"....well he won't until you take control and power over your life. I told my ex that we had to be NC...and now i feel like i can breathe. I still cry myself to sleep at night..cause no matter how much he lied to me and for goodness sakes..HE SLEPT WITH ANOTHER GIRL..i still love him and i would have taken him back..I can't hate him...but you gotta learn to love yourself, you can't let him control you and your heart.
Author MotherGooze Posted March 7, 2007 Author Posted March 7, 2007 You're right, sometimes I feel so stupid. I call him crying, and the only thing he says is " what are you trying to achieve by calling me". He's just so heartless and cold right now. And I know within a few weeks he'll be back. I'm not gonna let him have it again. I've tried being very bitchy so he would get angry and leave me alone, but I can't. I guess NC is the best for now. He's not a liar or a cheater, he's always been honest, except towards himself. He can't really express feeling, I know what he feels for me, and I know it's a very strong feeling, so strong that it frightens him. Everythime I get close to him he runs away. I can't keep up like that. I just feel miserable. I've never felt miserable for a guy.
scubafish Posted March 10, 2007 Posted March 10, 2007 I read this wall sign in a catalog somewhere, something like this " no boy is important enough to cry over, and the one that is, won't make you cry."
AriaIncognito Posted March 10, 2007 Posted March 10, 2007 MotherGooze i so can understand where you're coming from. I fell for someone who didn't seem to want to commit either. Even after a year together he was just so "conflicted" about whether or not we were right for eachother, even though he admitted how easy and great and all it all was. Maybe he wanted everything we had, but with someone else. I don't know. All I know is, it's tremendously difficult to just give up on someone you so want to be with. I to wish I could just start hating him. He's still in my life almost daily (I know, NC would be best, I know...i'm just a moron I guess) and whenever I dont talk to him, I find myself beating myself up over where he could be, who he could be with, if he's meeting someone, etc. It sucks. I wish I could offer words of wisdom. Just do your best to keep your mind off him and keep yourself on the path to healing. Keep posting.
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