beachlover Posted March 7, 2007 Posted March 7, 2007 I sorta dated this guy a few months ago, found out he had a girlfriend, then he broke up with his gf and started calling me a lot. I wouldn't let him come over late at night like he had been, but I still saw him at school off an on. I haven't talked to him in over a month, until last night. Last night I went to dinner with a few friends, one of them was talking about a guy she works with who went to my school and who was dating one girl (who was horrible in her opinion) and he broke up with her and met a amazing girl at school. I bet you can guess where this is going... This girl he was talking about was me. I figured out the connection but didn't tell my friends at first, I asked what he was saying about her at work of all places. I guess he was talking about me a lot, he thought that I wouldn't give him a chance and that I was creeped out by him, so he was trying to meet other girls and not "stalking" me (his words). I asked my friend if it was so-and-so , which it was and told them that the girl was me. When our dinner was over I ended up texting him telling him I heard a bunch of stories about him. We ended up talking for over 3 hours, it was great! I don't know what to do, when I first met him he had a girlfriend, a girlfriend I didn't know about until after we had been hanging out for a week or so. I know he doesn't have a girlfriend now and I know what he is telling other people about me, everything I heard was incredibly sweet! Last time I posted on here I was convinced that I was not going to talk to him anymore, but then I heard what he was saying to other people, to people he didn't even know knew me. Why would he tell his co workers about me if what he was saying wasn't true? Why would he still be talking about me when I haven't talked to him on over a month?
LN99 Posted March 7, 2007 Posted March 7, 2007 Sounds like he really likes you. He liked you a lot then, and he likes you now. I think he met you and he realized this. He was in a relationship so he was kinda stuck. The timing was bad..etc. I don't understand why he didn't tell you though. Maybe he was afraid of scaring you off? I bet that's it. But, you broke things off and moved on. ( I would have probably done the same thing, knowing what you did at the time.) Hearing his story from other people....wow. Kinda cool huh? Definately sounds like he likes you a lot! He probably thought he blew it also, because of the crappy timing and him being involved with someone else. (I mean they even say that you meet someone when you least expect it to or when your not looking.) I think thats the case here. So, If you like this guy and you are both unattached(which it seems you are..) I say go for it!
Author beachlover Posted March 7, 2007 Author Posted March 7, 2007 I get that he likes me, and yeah I like him. But I am not sure that he is over his ex. Last time I talked to him he was pretty hung up on his (now ex) gf. He even mentioned her a few times last night, he said that he still hangs out with her sometimes and that it is really awkward, I didn't ask any other questions, mostly because I didn't want to know. They broke up two months ago, I just don't know if he is over her. How long would you think it would take for him to get over a 2 year relationship, a relationship that he was admittedly trying to ruin for at least the last month. Could he be over her if he is still hanging out with her?
LN99 Posted March 7, 2007 Posted March 7, 2007 I don't quite understand WHY he is hanging out with his ex, when supposidly he was trying to ruin the relationship for the past month. Maybe he feels guilty? Maybe she didn't take it so well...etc. Either way, yeah I don't blame you for keeping your distance because there really is no way to be sure you're not some rebound he is after. I think the smartest thing you can do is to give it some time, and also explain to him your reasons for doing so.
Author beachlover Posted March 7, 2007 Author Posted March 7, 2007 I flat out asked him why he is still hanging out with her and he said he honestly didn't know. He probably does feel guilty, they broke up when they were in a fight because she accused him of cheating on her, which I guess depending on the definition of cheating he did (we kissed while they were still together, but nothing further). In my defense I didn't know he had a gf at that time. He denied cheating when she confronted him, from what he said it sounds like she was accusing him of sleeping with someone else. I know I am going to have to give it time, I just thought a month ago when I decided to stop talking to him that I would never hear from him/about him again. I got caught up in everything last night and texted him. And now I am sitting her wanting to see him soon. But I am not about to call him and see if he wants to meet up. I will have to explain my reasoning to him next time he calls, I am betting he will understand Thanks LN!
ShoeGirl Posted March 7, 2007 Posted March 7, 2007 I think you should hang out with him and see what happens, just be careful because he might still have feelings for his ex. You said they were together for 2 years and they have only been split up for 2 months, and he is still talking to her... I would think something is going on there, maybe LN is right and he feels guilty because he cheated on her with you (kissing is cheating in my mind), or maybe he doesn't know which girl he wants, you or her. If you start hanging out more and he continues to talk to his ex then you should probably forget about him and move on, but you did say you haven't talked to him in a month, maybe he thought you weren't interested so he figured he would keep his ex around for a while. Just be careful
Author beachlover Posted March 8, 2007 Author Posted March 8, 2007 I thought that he would have called me again by now. We talked for hours the other night and I haven't heard from him since. Should I call him? I want to see him again, before I could just accidentally run into him at school (it was easy because I worked for one of his teachers and I knew what times he was in that building) but he has this quarter off, so it's not that easy now. I miss seeing him, I can't stop thinking about him... He knows spring break starts the end of this week and that I am leaving town, I thought he would want to see me before that. Is he just waiting so he doesn't seem stalkerish, like he thought he was being before?
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