amberwboone Posted March 7, 2007 Posted March 7, 2007 I don't really have a question.I have posted on here before about my breakup.It has been a month in a half.I am not doing so well on the NC thing. I call my ex,text my ex,I would send him subliminal messages if I could!LOLI think I am starting to make him HATE me.A part of me hates him to.What happens is I call him ,we engage in friendly conversation ,I bring up us getting back together, he says no he needs time ,I cry he gets madd and hangs up!Sucks! How am I ever gonna get over this!I have never been such a troll in my life!He thinks I am crazy!HEck I think he is right.He tells me he just wants to be left alone for awhile so what do I do....Call him text him!I told him that if I leave him alone he will forget me and we will never get back together and he tells me how do u know u have never tried!Does that mean he will come back!!!! Maybe i should call and ask himm!!!!!!!!!!!GRRRRRRRR Some one help me! Is it gonna get better soon???? Will he come back? Why am I so pathetic? I promise when I get healed up I am gonna be on here helping everyone!!!!
Cossette4 Posted March 7, 2007 Posted March 7, 2007 You will eventually stop yourself one of two ways: 1. You will call/email/see him so many times and each time he will act the same way he's been acting and you will get to a point of sheer embarrassment and humiliation with yourself where you will feel like you've lost all dignity and feel icky inside because he sees your weakness, thinks you are pathetic, and hasn't changed his feelings one bit. or 2. You will stop right now out of fear of turning into the person described in #1 Hint: #2 is the better choice. Everyone has been there. We all felt like somehow our phone call would turn it all around and we ended up feeling ridiculous afterwards. Don't feel like you are the only "crazy" one here. Just stop it now so you can feel less stupid later. Wouldn't it be better to not call him at all and have him wonder, "Hmm...is she...over me? Because she...hasn't...called in awhile....Weird..." And whether or not you are over him, you will be if you stick to it. You should do a search on here with the keywords "broke NC." Read how icky people feel when they do and how it results in nothing but more heartache. That should psych you up. Also, NC means don't stalk the myspace page or don't drive around in parking lots where you know his car will be (not like...I've done..that..or anything). Yes, you might be able to go undetected, but it's a form of "contact" that's still going to keep you wrapped up in the situation and holding on. You can do it!
CharlieMurphy Posted March 7, 2007 Posted March 7, 2007 Also, NC means don't stalk the myspace page or don't drive around in parking lots where you know his car will be (not like...I've done..that..or anything). Yes, you might be able to go undetected, but it's a form of "contact" that's still going to keep you wrapped up in the situation and holding on. LOL...I haven't called her for a little over a week now but I do what you said above. I look at her myspace page all the time, drive by her house and school for an off chance I'll see her, etc. Let me tell you, it doesn't help. Why I do it, I don't know. Whenever I start to feel I'm over her I'll get a reminder of her and I'll go do this.
Guest Posted March 7, 2007 Posted March 7, 2007 grrr it wont me log in under my username! i hate my work!!! anyway, i wish wish wish i could go NC. but its actually impossible! im trying to get over my best friend, how do i do that? i cant exactly just start ignoring him and go NC, he'll wonder what the feck is going on! help.............pweese
ratingsguy Posted March 7, 2007 Posted March 7, 2007 Wouldn't it be better to not call him at all and have him wonder, "Hmm...is she...over me? Because she...hasn't...called in awhile....Weird..." And whether or not you are over him, you will be if you stick to it. Exactly! Give him a chance to miss you. If you constantly keep going back to him, not only do you continue the hurt and make the healing process longer, but you demonstrate to him that he has incredible power over you. You do not want either of those things to happen. I'm on day 32 of NC. There are ups and downs every day, but I am feeling better overall. I still love her with all my heart, but through the day if I see something that reminds me of my ex, I'll just say to myself, "God, I hate her!" I say that at least a dozen times a day if not more. I guess I'm in the anger stage. Making the committment to NC is the toughest thing to do. But once you've been in it for a while, you will see things get better... IF you stick to it. I promise! Good luck...
Icantletgo Posted March 7, 2007 Posted March 7, 2007 I didn't give my ex a chance to miss me. After our break up the idiot i am, i texted him "are you sure this is what you want to do? I can't breathe without you". PURE WEAKNESS. When i finally didn't talk to him at all for 2 weeks that when he came back...but of course i let him...and he started using me again so I, the most powerful person should be YOURSELF, said no more..and I initiated NC. Sometimes people break up but they get back together cause they do love each other. But sometimes people break up cause it didn't work and it'll never work...and leaving now with dignity is better than refusing to admit the obvious.
Author amberwboone Posted March 8, 2007 Author Posted March 8, 2007 I did it!! I did not call him today at all!!I am not sure how I feel.Kind of sad! I have no control.Still sucks but I know in time it will go away. Has anyone on here read someone elses story and said to thereselves "my relationship was different" our love was different" I kept doing that reading these..and the tuth is all the people loved someone and lost someone!!!No more denial for me.I need to except that it is over ,AND by saying this I don't mean I am going to leave him alone just for the fact he may come back to me!I need to leave him alone because of the mean things he has said to me and because he is cold hearted and shallow!!! I do not deserve for him to say the things he has said to me!If he comes back in time we will burn that bridge when or if ever we get there! Thanks for the advice I truley take it to heart!!!Has anyone ever seen "The eternal Sunshine of the spotless human mind"I think that is the name of it, anyway it has something to do with someone erasing there ex lovers memory from their mind-I wish I could do that! Wish me luck tomorrow is another day!!!
Cossette4 Posted March 8, 2007 Posted March 8, 2007 Has anyone ever seen "The eternal Sunshine of the spotless human mind"I think that is the name of it, anyway it has something to do with someone erasing there ex lovers memory from their mind-I wish I could do that! It's actually Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. It's funny you should mention that because that's one of my favorite movies (I actually saw it in the theaters with my ex when it came out:rolleyes: ) Keep in mind though that he REGRETS erasing the memories because even though it's over now and it's time to move on, you can still have the memories and know that those were special times. I always have to work hard in my mind to keep the yucky stuff going on now from spoiling the good stuff that once was, because NO ONE can ever take those memories away from me. Good job by the way with not calling
Icantletgo Posted March 8, 2007 Posted March 8, 2007 Cossette. It too is one of my favorite movies. No matter how much I feel like I hate my ex right now. I would never give up the good memories. They will always be a part of me.
scubafish Posted March 9, 2007 Posted March 9, 2007 amber- nc does work out, I have to do limited no contact, because he is my husband, and we have alot of things to split/work out. He moved out to be with the woman he was having affair with, so I have to really control my temper about it, that kinda helps keep me from trying to talk to him, otherwise, I know I would just scream at ahim. anyway, he did call today just to see how the dogs were doing (good excuse) , and when I answered the phone I was in a cheery mood, and just chatted brightly, about the dogs, and how nice the flowers outside were blooming. I could tell he was a little quit, then he fianlly said, you sound happy, like he was not expecting it. i have to say, that actuallly gave me a feeling of power, like he was not in control anymore. I am sure it threw him for a loop. so everytime you feel like calling and 'being a troll', just remember that you will make him think about you more, and in a better form, if you do not even bring that up! be strong, I know it is hard, because I am there, but you have power, use it!
happymom Posted March 9, 2007 Posted March 9, 2007 i agree with subafish...I am separated from my h since dec. it was my decision, but we still have contact. It's almost like it's a phase of either splitting for good OR a process of getting back together.Either way it feels healthier than living in the same home and being depressed and unhealthy. Has anyone ever been married but lived separately? I never thought it's something that I would ever consider...but here I am!
Island Girl Posted March 9, 2007 Posted March 9, 2007 You will eventually stop yourself one of two ways: 1. You will call/email/see him so many times and each time he will act the same way he's been acting and you will get to a point of sheer embarrassment and humiliation with yourself where you will feel like you've lost all dignity and feel icky inside because he sees your weakness, thinks you are pathetic, and hasn't changed his feelings one bit. or 2. You will stop right now out of fear of turning into the person described in #1 Hint: #2 is the better choice. Everyone has been there. We all felt like somehow our phone call would turn it all around and we ended up feeling ridiculous afterwards. Don't feel like you are the only "crazy" one here. Just stop it now so you can feel less stupid later. Wouldn't it be better to not call him at all and have him wonder, "Hmm...is she...over me? Because she...hasn't...called in awhile....Weird..." And whether or not you are over him, you will be if you stick to it. You should do a search on here with the keywords "broke NC." Read how icky people feel when they do and how it results in nothing but more heartache. That should psych you up. Also, NC means don't stalk the myspace page or don't drive around in parking lots where you know his car will be (not like...I've done..that..or anything). Yes, you might be able to go undetected, but it's a form of "contact" that's still going to keep you wrapped up in the situation and holding on. You can do it! Read and re-read in moments of weakness. Print out a copy and carry it with you. I was the dumper. I can tell you the ones I went back to were the ones who went NC - not the ones who chased desperately as my words to them grew staedily more and more severe and hurtful. Now - for those that did NC and I gave them a second chance - they took me up on the offer too quickly. They jumped right back in to wanting to be where we left off instead of starting slowly again as if anew. So I dumped them again. But desperately calling - texting (I HATE TEXT MESSAGING - it doesn't belong in a relationship) - gifts - cards - letters - all of it only served to make me feel sickened by their weakness.
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