puddleofmud Posted March 9, 2007 Posted March 9, 2007 "he is training you to behave the way he wants" Well said and probably true! If so, this is most likely an experienced cheater and master manipulator. One may want to take a very serious look at this and decide if they want to have someone like this in their life?
dignityback Posted March 15, 2007 Posted March 15, 2007 After about a year of the affair, I said we should end it because it wasn't going anywhere and he was OK about it, and said that he could see how it wasn't fair on me. As he got out the car he said he would call me next week and I looked at him very hard and said "Good-bye". All this saying he would call me--it is like he wants the last word or he wasn't listening. 5 months later and I was getting on with my life, he phones me at work out of the blue. I remember my heart jumped because I thought he had made a choice but he only wanted to resume the affair because he asked to meet me for a few hours after work but he couldn't stay long. I was upset and this was in an open plan office. He asked if he could call me at home--that was only to find out if I had someone else. I told him I was busy at work and had to go to a meeting. 2 weeks later I found out that he had gone to my place of work, twice, to meet a male colleague for lunch, but he hadn't phoned me on my cell. I happened to be on vacation for those 2 days but he didn't know that--it was as if he was taunting me or maybe hoping to see me so he could give me the brushoff. Of course it played with my mind and I contacted and resumed the affair--if only I had ignored him I would have walked away then, and saved much more heartache. That is why I really resent him for phoning me when he had nothing more to offer me. He knows how to play me and I allowed it. Guest, He called you to see if you were up for an affair again. Things are still boring at home and so he tries you. He doesn't care that it may have upset you by phoning you at work. He is selfish and his needs are first. So you blew him off over the phone and the bloke really has got no style or repect for you. He should have offered to take you out to wine and dine you. But instead he asks to meet up as if you haven't had a break up. So then he comes to your work place--I suppose that is his pathetic idea of pursuing you--knowing that someone will tell you. Mind games and manipulation and you fall for it. He doesn't have to work very hard to reel you back in. So you following him in the car, and him sitting next to you in the internet cafe are all part of his manipulation to reel you back in. He knows it annoys you and so he does it more and more. So you had a set back when you wanted to talk to him in the car but I doubt he was that surprised. Emotions do funny things to people. He knows you are hooked so he won't need to bother with you just yet. We all do things we wish we hadn't, but he did rather drive you over the edge with his mixed messages. Just don't play into his hands again. Next time he calls, when he thinks he has left you alone for long enough, you should try and display great indifference to him and be very cool. A good ploy is pretending you don't recognise his voice. Of course if you don't want to sink to his level, just tell him to go to hell and not come back.
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