Cossette4 Posted March 6, 2007 Posted March 6, 2007 You know what may be the death of me? The "Search" function on this forum. I've been finding threads from years back from people who have had very similar situations to mine (dated someone for 5 years, got broken up with, ex started dating someone weeks later) and I have read their posts from beginning to end. All I have to say is WHOA. They went through the EXACT same thoughts I went through. I followed two people in particular (one guy, one girl). Both thought what their ex was doing was a rebound thing, both were totally confused because the new person was their total opposite, both suffered for months and months (this is exactly what I'm going through.) Guess what happened??? After ONE YEAR, the girl's ex broke up with his "rebound" because he still missed the girl he dated for 5 years and wanted her back. So they are back together and her posts end. After ONE YEAR, the guy gets an email from his ex asking for some stuff back, and she's still with the new boyfriend. He's totally hurt by it and only posts a couple more times about his adventures in online dating and then his posts stop, too. Crazy. Pretty much goes to show there is no pattern, no science to what's going to happen for any of us, no guarantees. There are so many posters who are 100% affirmative--"Your ex will come back. They always come back." And some posters who are 100% negative--"You need to get over it, because they are over you and will never realize they made a mistake." But when it all comes down to it, no one really knows. One thing I know for sure is that I don't think I am truly OVER IT. Because it seems like when people here are really OVER IT, they stop talking about it! And I definitely can't do that as of yet ::Sigh:: But it is truly amazing to go back in the archives in this thing and watch how stories eventually do play out. I hope one day, someone who is really down and out and going through a similar situation will find my story in his/her search results and see all the craziness I went through.
shockandawed Posted March 6, 2007 Posted March 6, 2007 Hey Cossette, You know, our stories are so similar, quickly being replaced by people we can't figure out for the life us why? I have done the same thing and probably have read the same posts. And yes, when you find the one where they eventually come back, you start to get your hopes up a little. Every situation is different. I have been the dumpee three times in my life. Of course, they were the three longest relationships I have been in. My high school girlfriend (1st love) looked me up on the internet last fall. It had been 25 years. She admitted she still thought of me all the time, regretted how we broke up all those years ago. Several phone calls and a visit back in town, she told me she really wanted to see what a relationship would be like between us. I couldn't do it. My ex wife- After 20 years together, she filed for divorce as her high school friend looked her up and told her he never married for waiting for her. Long story short, major regrets about a year later, called, begged, did about everything possible to get me back. Unfortunately, I was involved with my ex-fiance by then. Ex-Fiance, well, it has only been since December. But, when she discovered I was dating, she started texting like crazy, but would never come through and say she wanted to get back. But I think it may happen one day. Who knows????????? As far as rebounds, no, they hardly ever last. I was assured by a counselor during my divorce that my love striken soon to be ex wife would not make it past 18 months with this guy. I think she made it 12. Cossette, I have a sneaky feeling neither one of us has heard the last. Lets just hope we have moved on when we do. Hang in there!!!
princessa Posted March 6, 2007 Posted March 6, 2007 I'm always very sceptical of people who give advice advocating that their solution is 100% the right thing to do. There's only so much they can discover from reading a few paragraphs about your situation. Even when you actually know a person it's hard to predict the exact outcome of their situation because you don't know their SO as well as they do. I think good advice will include a number of different suggestions for you to think about, because in the end only you know the real answer.
Author Cossette4 Posted March 7, 2007 Author Posted March 7, 2007 Cossette, I have a sneaky feeling neither one of us has heard the last. Lets just hope we have moved on when we do. Shockandawed: Wow those must have been so rewarding! And it was good that you moved on by the time they happened so you came out looking in control in the end! I really hope if I get that chance I handle it so calmly and confidently. A part of me is thinking I could just casually be like "Sorry, not interested." Another part of me thinks I'll just break down and cry because I'll miss him but can't ever take him back because of the unforgivable sh:bunny: t he put me through, and still another part of me thinks I'll get angry and just go off big time about what a shattered mess he made of things and how much I hate him. Only time will tell. Oh, time.
Am4Real Posted March 8, 2007 Posted March 8, 2007 But it is truly amazing to go back in the archives in this thing and watch how stories eventually do play out. I hope one day, someone who is really down and out and going through a similar situation will find my story in his/her search results and see all the craziness I went through. Amen to that...
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