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When is to soon to say the 'L' word?


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Posted

Hi everyone.

 

The title pretty much sums up what I would like to know.

 

I have been with my man going on 3 months, and yes, Ive fallen in love with him. Is this too soon to tell him, or from a guys perspective, should I just hold out for a while longer?

 

Any suggestions/thoughts would be appreciated.

 

Thankyou

Posted

You should only say it when you are 100% positive that you feel it... and it sounds like you do.

 

IMHO, three months is ok, IF you've seen each other almost every day during that time. If you're only getting together on the weekends you may want to wait longer.

 

You should also look for clues to see if he feels the same way. It's really a judgement call. And the timing of when you say it is just as important. Never during or after sex or in the middle of an argument. Wait for the right time.

 

Good luck!

Posted

For me I know it's right when not telling her is harder than telling her that I love her.

 

The one thing that you have to keep in mind though is that he may not reciprocate right away. Peoples feelings evolve at different rates and so it may take some time for him to catch up to where you are right now.

 

Don't under any circumstance ask him if he feels the same, he should volunteer it freely. Just tell him how you feel and leave it at that.

 

Timing is crucial. Because the intentions behind the L word can be misinterpreted, choosing the right time to say it will make it easier for him to understand your true intentions.

 

The question you really wanted answering is; is he ready to hear it? That we can't answer and you can't either. You'll just have to hope that he is mature enough and secure enough to not be freaked out by your admission or scared away.

 

If he is scared away or freaked out, then chances are it wouldn't have worked out in the long run anyhow. Any emotionally healthy person really should be looking for love and desire it when it is given, even if they can't immediately reciprocate.

Posted
For me I know it's right when not telling her is harder than telling her that I love her.

 

I agree completely.

Posted

That answer is simple. If you really feel you love him, just go all out and say it. Just say it whenever you feel it is right. It's that simple. It's never too soon if you really feel like that.

 

Good luck!:D

Posted

it depends on the people involved b/c everyone is different.....my bf of 3 mths told me he was in love with me and loved me after a month, and i felt the exact same way.....actually i felt it from both of us before we even said it....u'll know when the time is right and just go for it....its scary but he might be waiting for you to say it first....

Posted

wait until around the six month mark

Posted

And when you do say it, do not say "I love you". Say it a little softer. "Wow, this has been great, and you know I THINK I am FALLING in love with you."

 

With that you are not quite there yet and can back away if needed. It does not leave the awkward pause where he/she goes "oh ****, now what do I say?"

 

From there, they can say I am too. We are moving too fast. Or any number of things

Posted
From there, they can say I am too. We are moving too fast. Or any number of things

 

Or they could say nothing.. which then means the room gets real quiet and you talk about the weather..:laugh:

Posted
Or they could say nothing.. which then means the room gets real quiet and you talk about the weather..:laugh:

so? whats wrong with that?

Posted

I don't know why but I would never say it first to a bf, I think he should say it first. I think love feelings often develop at 3 months but I'd wait a couple more to say it, for now just show him how you feel.

Posted

My sister told me once to never be the first to say ILY and never love someone as much as they love you

Posted
My sister told me once to never be the first to say ILY and never love someone as much as they love you

 

There is something wrong with your sister

Posted
There is something wrong with your sister

 

I ain't going to argue that one and it is an ENTIRELY different thread!

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Posted

thanks for yur responses...it does help to have some insight. Im a person who pretty much wears my heart on my sleeve.....and the other night I did say that 'i was falling in love with you' :) he just gave me a very passionate kiss...no words were said.

I didnt mind not hearing anything back, as that wasnt what I was after.. I just wanted him to know how I was feeling.

 

However, last night he reciprocated saying he was falling 4 me also....:love:

wow....

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