Older women and Jealousy

[Crush4ever]

I really hope I don't ruffle any feathers, but it has become somewhat of a problem lately...I am 25 and attractive (I won't go into details, but let's just say I can get a guy if I want him). I don't feel the need to apologize for my looks, but I am a really nice person and very friendly.

 

Still, I have a hard time getting the same treatment from other women, especially if they are older (late 30s, early 40s are even worse). I know this isn't true of every woman, but from the cashier at the drugstore, to a close friend giving demeaning advice...why are women so jealous of each other??

 

I know a lot of women won't like this post, but people don't seem to talk about this. It's annoying when I always get an instant "off" attitude from a woman, whereas guys are so much nicer!!

 

In terms of a close, older friend, I actually lost a prospect guy recently because I took her advice...This guy was in his mid-30s, which is what I prefer, and she kept telling me I shouldn't go for him, he really wasn't interested, the situation would get complicated,etc. So I listened. Just when I least expected it, he asked me out! He WAS interested. He DID want me. But by now, it was too late, I was seeing someone else.

 

I could tell she had been jealous all along, it seems like older women really resent it when younger women get attention from older guys. But I'm wiser now! Every time I see a woman trying to downplay a guy's interest in me, I'm pretty sure where it comes from!

 

It just seems unfair that some women make a snap judgement NOT to like each other before even getting to know the actual person.

 

Does anyone else go through the same thing?

[Trialbyfire]

As a woman in my very early thirties, I know that if I see a young or older woman dressed in an unsuitable fashion, I will unconsciously dismiss them. If I see someone dressed in a way that looks good to me, I will look at them and see what makes the outfit. Other than that, behaviour also affects the way I perceive someone. If they're giggling like preteens, I dismiss them. If they're laughing out loud and having a good time, I tend to smile at them.

[Kwo-ne'-she]

I'm in my late 30s, and don't have a problem with a younger girl who is attractive. If she dresses in an extremely provocative manner (inappropriate for the place), if she acts like a bimbo, or like she is God's gift to the planet....then, I have a problem with her.

 

It's more about her attitude than her looks.

[justagirliegirl]

I agree with Trialbyfire. If someone is dressed or speaking in an offensive way, I will dismiss them.

 

Most of the time I don't pay any attention at all as I simply don't care.

 

Of course you look good, you're only 25. When you are 45 and are still being hit on by men in their 20s and 30s then you have something to brag about.

[Trialbyfire]

I will add one thing though which may sound a little odd. I find that sometimes younger women can either be overly sensitive (timid persay) or overly aggressive. The overly sensitive ones I find tend to be afraid of me. Maybe it's because I'm an attractive older woman.

 

*edit - in all seriousness, you can't blame someone else for the advice they give you because it's your personal choice to take their advice. It's a learning experience of whom to trust and who might have other motivations or just plain gives advice that isn't right for you. What is right for another person may not be right for you.

[norajane]

I'm in my late 30s, and don't have a problem with a younger girl who is attractive. If she dresses in an extremely provocative manner (inappropriate for the place), if she acts like a bimbo, or like she is God's gift to the planet....then, I have a problem with her.

 

It's more about her attitude than her looks.

 

Yup, it's about the attitude.

 

I'm in my late 30's and my sister is about to turn 25. Through her, I have spent a lot of time with her friends...I must say, they're all pretty wonderful, but much of that is because none of them are so focused on appearance and gettin' guys and what other people think of them.

 

Instead, they are in the Peace Corps and Teach for America and are young lawyers, in med school, etc., etc. That's not to say they aren't attractive - far from it - they are both phsyically beautiful, intelligent, and lovely on the inside as well.

 

However, I do run across a lot of young ladies at clubs that I would generally not want to know much better because the attitude they give off is one of desperation for validation from men and others. Those girls, I mostly feel sorry for, because they believe their worth is all about their looks. It's insecurity at its worst, because they all know that their 20's won't last forever, they fear their 30's, and anything after that might as well be death.

 

If you aren't being treated well by women, take a look at how you view them - are you predisposed to believing they are jealous of you? How do you know the cashier is treating you a particular way because she is jealous of you? Seriously -how do you know that's the reason? What makes you think it's about your looks?

 

Finally, men are nicer to you because men like to flirt with pretty girls.

[stillafool]

Yes older women are sometimes jealous of younger women. Women in their teens to mid twenties seem to attract the most men. The very young to very old men are attracted by a young woman in bloom and this sometimes make older women very jealous. Also if you are young, have no children, bills or a husband to worry about, an older woman may be jealous of your freedom and that you have your whole life ahead of you.

[Jinxx]

 

It's more about her attitude than her looks.

 

Ditto! I'm in my late 40's and never gave it a thought of being jealous of younger woman.

[Kwo-ne'-she]

Crush - is it possible they don't seem to like you for other reasons? Why do you immediately think it is all abour your looks? Did they tell you this? If not, I really think it may have something more to do with your attitude than your "beauty".