lovergirl911 Posted March 5, 2007 Posted March 5, 2007 My boyfriend is very clingy....how do I make him give me some space if I have already told him to back off a little. I feel bad when I tell him to but it freaks me out....please help=(
Limerent Posted March 5, 2007 Posted March 5, 2007 I feel bad when I tell him to but it freaks me out....please help=( In what way does it freak you out? I hope you get some good replies to this, because I am battling the same issue, and like you, it freaks me out too, but I am not sure if his behaviour is natural, or it really is creepy.
norajane Posted March 5, 2007 Posted March 5, 2007 You need to get to the root of his clinginess - is it insecurity, jealousy, fear of losing you? The more distant you are, the more you try to push him away, the clingier he will become because he will want even more contact with you to reassure him that you still love him and aren't about to leave him. Try to find out what his primary fear is, and reassure him of that. So, for example, if he is afraid you are losing interest and may leave him if you don't call for a few days, then when you know you are going to be busy, tell him ahead of time that you are going to be busy with work/school/whatever and that you will call him on Thursday, but won't have time to talk before then. Then, make sure you call him on Thursday! That should comfort him to know you aren't losing interest, and that you are looking forward to when you can talk. Do the same thing with dates - when you are together and about to part, tell him when you will see him again. That way, he doesn't haver to freak out in the meantime. I think if you can manage to do this for a while, he'll start to worry less as he feels more secure in the relationship. That's my theory, anyway.
trulycute Posted March 9, 2007 Posted March 9, 2007 norajane............excellent advice you just gave!!.....i'm going though a similar thing right now in my relationship where i'm starting to feel a bit clingy and there is no real reason for it then maybe fear and my own insecurity, but now i'm just going to take some of ur advice to heart.....and just chill out!....lol
alphamale Posted March 9, 2007 Posted March 9, 2007 My boyfriend is very clingy....how do I make him give me some space if I have already told him to back off a little. I feel bad when I tell him to but it freaks me out....please help=( you may have to trade him in for a model that is less clingy
Guest Posted March 9, 2007 Posted March 9, 2007 Hey Lovergirl911....I agree with Norajane. Is he clingy?...or maybe he just really loves you? It sounds like you have a little fear, maybe from a past experience with hurt? Talk to him, I'll bet he will give you space. In my oppinion when someone truly loves you, it is natural to want to be with you. Maybe you are giving him signs to make him feel inseccure. True love comes once in a lifetime sometimes. You may find that his heart has you in it...cut him some slack and relax. Communicate too. Real men are romantic...and not "alphamales"... It sounds like this guy really loves you hang in there with him....
hotpickles Posted March 15, 2007 Posted March 15, 2007 oohhh. i just finally broke up with a man after two years of clinginess. Clinginess = insecurity. He made me the focus of his life. I was his only friend, and my life was his life. He had to know everything i did, where i went and hated my friends and family dropping in. He was also a liar and a pothead and abusive. Any man i come into contact with in the future will scare me away if they attach themselves to me like a barnacle lol. Clingy and insecure men do not love you. They are just looking for someone to live their life through.
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