Guest Posted March 4, 2007 Posted March 4, 2007 Hi there, Been dating for 10 months. When we first started, my boyfriend quit smoking.. but soon slowly started smoking again. And I know he quit to be with me. Now, he's a heavy smoker. It's such a big turn off for me.. I find it digusting.. every time we talk about it.. he ends up getting defensive and mad about it. He tells me to just give him time and he wants to quit.. but honestly every time I see him smoke I get soooo disgusted and mad. I know its a highly addictive.. and extremely hard thing to quit. But I feel like he's not ready to quit cause I see no indication of him trying. Also, I feel like he drinks too much. Not to the point of alcoholic.. but to the point were I don't think he could go a week without having a beer. He'll have a beer once after work (that's no big deal for me).. but he'll get drunk at least once a week to the point were he passes either at the bar or on the way home. He just turned 30. I just feel like is this the way it's going to be for the rest of his life? I don't know what I should do. I feel like I should give a chance to quit.. but how long should I wait?? I"m going to talk to him tomorrow and see. Wish me good luck.
lost and confused Posted March 6, 2007 Posted March 6, 2007 hi welcome to this site. well i just want to bring something into the light here. first of all quitting something is very hard and with you adding to the pressure nearly impossible. take it from me. im an addictions counsellor. i deal with all kinds of addictions and smoking is one of them. i want to just tell you a little about an addiction people dont just quit coz you want them too. they have to want to. he may say he does but to make you happy or to leave him alone for the moment. the best way to get him to quit is to leave him alone about it. you can bring it up once in a while but dont be in his face everytime he lights a cigarette. do you know about withdrawl symptoms? its the main reason why people dont quit. they get headaches, they start to shake, they get extremely moody etc.. if you want get him the patch it will help him quit slowly but again its important that he wants to quit not for you but for him. another thing about his drinking. sounds like he is a problem drinker. not quite an alcoholic but getting there if he doesnt take control. again dont get in his face about it because when stress occurs people like to get away from it anyway they can. try having a serious talk with him. be very mature about it and have give him examples of past experiences (for example: remember last week when you throw up at the bar and passed out on the street. i felt scared and worried about you when you didnt come home) im not saying thats what happened with him but its an example of what to say. you need to give him real situations with dates possibly and explain how you felt. try your best not to beg him to quit. suggest a few least beers, or try suggesting that he start saving some of the money he uses on alcohol. these are just some suggestions just remember you dont want him to hide it from you so you have to try to be cool when you see it. i hope something i wrote helps good luck sincerly LosT & ConFused
Craig Posted March 6, 2007 Posted March 6, 2007 I feel like I should give a chance to quit.. but how long should I wait?? I"m going to talk to him tomorrow and see. Wish me good luck. Get him to try Chantix by Pfizer it is prescription only but it is the closest thing to a miracle drug I've seen in a long while. Have a look at this thread on it... http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t108220/
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