Prudence Posted March 4, 2007 Posted March 4, 2007 Hello, I am wondering if anyone here who is separated, divorced, or considering either of those has had to deal with pets, like who gets them, where they go, do you miss them now, and just how it was handled. Did pets affect any aspect of your decision? Is it harder to be a single pet-owner or do you wish you had your pets back if you gave them up? It looks like my marriage is headed for divorce and we have two dogs and two cats. I'm just wondering how others have dealt with this. We don't have kids, so that is not a factor. (As a disclaimer, I don't mean to double-post, but I did start a thread on housing options with pets, but since this question is broader and a little different, I thought I'd start a new thread. I hope that is ok.) Thank you!
GreenEyedLady Posted March 4, 2007 Posted March 4, 2007 I'm divorced and we had pets...I don't like animals though, (and he had a zoo) so I just let him have them...but I got the kids...(well, most of the time)...
Jinxx Posted March 4, 2007 Posted March 4, 2007 Separated for 6 months now. I'm keeping one horse and he keeps other. I'm the horse person so this has been pretty hard. I have one of the dogs (absolutely killing him) and he has the other and the cat. We have not yet met with the lawyers so I'm not sure if there will be "dog visitation" or if there is even such a thing. Time will tell.
norajane Posted March 4, 2007 Posted March 4, 2007 One of my friends had this problem. He and his ex-wife have a dog they both love to bits - got her when she was a puppy and I think she was the highlight of their marriage toward the end. They worked it out by sharing custody, since they still live near each other. He travels for work a lot, so the dog stays with his ex-wife when he's out of town, and with him when he's in town.
polywog Posted March 4, 2007 Posted March 4, 2007 This is a tough one. We both have cats that we brought into the realtionship, and I will keep my remaining old tabby. The dog, 8 yr. old golden retreiver, we got together, and he loves us both, so we are going to share custody. What sucks though, is that I am the one who really takes care of the dog when he needs to go to the vet, and buys his special food. I also take the dog on long walks and keep him in shape. I'm still figuring out how to handle this, as I want what is best for our dog (who gets better care because of me).
Author Prudence Posted March 4, 2007 Author Posted March 4, 2007 Thank you for replying. I feel bad for how this whole thing (divorce) will impact our pets. My H loves the dogs a lot, and of course they love him, but I'm really the "dog person" in the relationship, for many years I was the primary caretaker, I know more about dogs and getting the dogs was my decision, so I will keep them - if I can! I am going to have to try finding an apartment that will accept dogs, that I can afford, but it will be hard on my little guys to not have a yard to run around in. Did any of you guys have to move into an apt with dogs? As far as the cats go, we will probably have to find homes for them. My husband won't really want the responsibility of caring for them and doing all the things you have to do. I really don't think I can find a place that will accept two dogs AND two cats, and I prob couldn't afford it if I somehow found it. Most apts that accept pets have $200-300 pet fees per pet. Yikes! I think the cats would be happy in ANY good home, but the dogs are different.
Island Girl Posted March 4, 2007 Posted March 4, 2007 I kept all animals. The dogs were mine and although he loved them too, they were mine and he'd have had a hell-of-a-battle if he'd tried to take them. Two dogs and a cat - and I found quite a few places that would take all of them. It just meant I had to do some looking that's all. I also made him pay the extra deposit for the animals.
LakesideDream Posted March 5, 2007 Posted March 5, 2007 Pets bring problems when breaking up. When my D-day happened my ex offered to "relieve" me of the responsibility of taking care of "Stan the Wondercat", fat chance. I found the little bugger (4 months aprox.) in the High Sierra Wilderness on the bank of the Stanislaus River, (thus "Stan"). He had been thrown into the river! We had him together sort of for 7 years, he was my bud though. Funny story.. she came back to the house two weeks after the D and the little guy hissed her and ran between my legs when she tried to pet him. Pals for life.
Jinxx Posted March 5, 2007 Posted March 5, 2007 My H loves the dogs a lot, and of course they love him, but I'm really the "dog person" in the relationship, for many years I was the primary caretaker, I know more about dogs and getting the dogs was my decision, so I will keep them - if I can! I am going to have to try finding an apartment that will accept dogs, that I can afford, but it will be hard on my little guys to not have a yard to run around in. Did any of you guys have to move into an apt with dogs? If you're the primary caretaker then you'll get them. Your vet can provide you with documentation with the respect. Yes, it hard to find an apartment that will take pets. Try a private party. I was the one who left my home (hope to have him out by the end of summer) and it was a real chore finding a place that would take dogs but I did and so will you. It just takes a little longer than the norm. Good luck!
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