Mark B Posted March 4, 2007 Posted March 4, 2007 My drinking is destroying my life. I go out and get wasted and spend myself broke getting plastered with whores and queens and I can't seem to stop myself. Maybe I should convert to Islam.
magichands Posted March 4, 2007 Posted March 4, 2007 Drinking doesn't destroy people. People destroy themselves. Let's drink to that.
Storyrider Posted March 4, 2007 Posted March 4, 2007 I can't believe you prefer whores and queens over me. I've been drinking alone. I'm crushed.
Storyrider Posted March 4, 2007 Posted March 4, 2007 Mark, do you really think you're an alcoholic, or have you just been going overboard lately?
Author Mark B Posted March 4, 2007 Author Posted March 4, 2007 I can't believe you prefer whores and queens over me. I've been drinking alone. I'm crushed. I don't. I've been living my life like a suicide. Do you know how drunk I was last night? I spent the latter half of the evening trying to score with a guy who takes hormones to pretend that he's a girl and then I drove home in a comatose state. I woke up several times and I was driving! I would wake up and I'd I find myself doing sixty on I-95. I can't go on like this.
magichands Posted March 4, 2007 Posted March 4, 2007 I can't go on like this. You've made the first step. The second step isn't going to be easy, but at least it's easier than the third.
Storyrider Posted March 4, 2007 Posted March 4, 2007 I don't. I've been living my life like a suicide. Do you know how drunk I was last night? I spent the latter half of the evening trying to score with a guy who takes hormones to pretend that he's a girl and then I drove home in a comatose state. I woke up several times and I was driving! I would wake up and I'd I find myself doing sixty on I-95. I can't go on like this. I'm glad you made it home safe. But you're right, that is crazy. I'm sure you've thought about this, but there are worse things than just hitting a tree and taking yourself out.
ruby_gloom Posted March 4, 2007 Posted March 4, 2007 He is so smart. And funny. And nice. And sweet. And handsome. And so much more--there's just a lot of goodness to him. Yet he refuses to see it and opts to instead follow the downward spiral. Sometimes I can't believe him.
Storyrider Posted March 4, 2007 Posted March 4, 2007 I mean the risk isn't only to yourself, obviously. Sorry I'm innarticulate. I'm getting tired.
Storyrider Posted March 4, 2007 Posted March 4, 2007 He is so smart. And funny. And nice. And sweet. And handsome. And so much more--there's just a lot of goodness to him. Yet he refuses to see it and opts to instead follow the downward spiral. Sometimes I can't believe him. Agreed. Or push himself to the edge of...something?
Author Mark B Posted March 4, 2007 Author Posted March 4, 2007 Thanks for the kind words Ruby_Gloom. You know how much I you. I spent most of today nursing my hangover, but I'm coming to now and I feel this overwhelming sense of anger. My parents retire at the end of this year and I'm the oldest. I should have my sh*t together to be able to help them, but no, instead I waste my time and resources on self destruction. I never tell myself I'm an alcoholic because I don't drink daily like some people, but when I start I go for oblivion. I started at eleven yesterday morning and didn't stop until after midnight last night. Just one after another in one bar after another, and this was down in Broward County over an hour away. I want to move back to Illinois. I know change has to come from within and moving won't help if I don't want to stop, but I think moving might put me in a more restrictive environment. Plust I have old friends there and part of this comes from lonliness where all my friends I can only communicate with online.
ruby_gloom Posted March 4, 2007 Posted March 4, 2007 Sometimes I can't help but think he does this because he is too scared of letting anyone into his life on a serious note. Like he is simply doting on the banalities of life. It's can be quite easy to admit that you are messed up, but it's even more easy to remain messed up, which is what he is doing, I think. And it makes me kind of mad.
magichands Posted March 4, 2007 Posted March 4, 2007 And it makes me kind of mad. Why don't you have a drink to calm yourself down? Or smoke some weed? Maybe even both??
Storyrider Posted March 4, 2007 Posted March 4, 2007 I spent most of today nursing my hangover, but I'm coming to now and I feel this overwhelming sense of anger. My parents retire at the end of this year and I'm the oldest. I should have my sh*t together to be able to help them, but no, instead I waste my time and resources on self destruction. Well, the self destruction is sh*tty for you, first and foremost. I would set the issue of your parents aside for the moment. I never tell myself I'm an alcoholic because I don't drink daily like some people, but when I start I go for oblivion. I started at eleven yesterday morning and didn't stop until after midnight last night. Just one after another in one bar after another, and this was down in Broward County over an hour away. So once you start is it always like this, or are there times you can just have a few drinks? I want to move back to Illinois. I know change has to come from within and moving won't help if I don't want to stop, but I think moving might put me in a more restrictive environment. Plust I have old friends there and part of this comes from lonliness where all my friends I can only communicate with online. If you always drink heavily in certain bars in FL, then I can see how this would make sense. Do you not feel like you have any friends at all there? Or just not people you're close to?
ruby_gloom Posted March 4, 2007 Posted March 4, 2007 I am helping myself with some drinks, thank you very much. There is no one home. Apparently, they won't be home until tomorrow, so me and my whiskey are out to play. And what makes you think I'm not high already? You don't know me, dude.
magichands Posted March 4, 2007 Posted March 4, 2007 You don't know me, dude. Yeah. I used to be from Pangaea. It was a big place, but the people from there generally moved around a lot. So I'm thinking that maybe, just maybe, we might have crossed paths before. Dude.
magichands Posted March 4, 2007 Posted March 4, 2007 Well, the self destruction is sh*tty for you, first and foremost. Make sure you take your library books back first. The last thing you want is for your estate to bear the burden of overdue fines. Have you given any thought to an epitaph? But honestly, dude, I would try to put some energy into the things that I love. Like writing, and butt plugs.
ruby_gloom Posted March 4, 2007 Posted March 4, 2007 But honestly, dude, I would try to put some energy into the things that I love. You should direct this advice to yourself also, magic.
magichands Posted March 4, 2007 Posted March 4, 2007 You should direct this advice to yourself also, magic. This week I have been concentrating on butt plugs.
RecordProducer Posted March 4, 2007 Posted March 4, 2007 I don't. I've been living my life like a suicide. Do you know how drunk I was last night? I spent the latter half of the evening trying to score with a guy who takes hormones to pretend that he's a girl and then I drove home in a comatose state. I woke up several times and I was driving! I would wake up and I'd I find myself doing sixty on I-95. I can't go on like this.This reminded me how hubby and I were joking today that we are I-95ing and then we I-95ed. It sounded funnier in real life. It only takes one thing to stop: DESIRE. The rest will come from that. The decision has to be made firmly and you have to know that drinking is not an option. Besides, it doesn't really make you feel good. Not when you have more than 2-3 drinks. Try to lower it down to 3 drinks twice per week. Start from there then think about quitting altogether. Also seeing a doctor might help.
tommyr Posted March 4, 2007 Posted March 4, 2007 No offense intended to the previous posters (you are probably trying to be helpful) but I am shocked at all the mis-information so far posted in this thread! MarkB, please ignore EVERYTHING you have read in here so far. MarkB, if you are experiencing problems in your life due to the use of alcohol, then you might be an alcoholic. If so, the only treatment is total abstinence from alcohol. See your doctor and he/she will tell you to goto AA meetings. That is the ONLY thing that works for alcoholics.
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