oppath Posted March 3, 2007 Posted March 3, 2007 I'm off to a party where many of the people are my ex's friends. She is not supposed to be there. I asked the mutual friend who told me that her ex proposed to her 1.5 weeks before she dumped me what the environment might be like for me, and he said Her friends, especially the ones you've contacted and the ones she's been friends with longer, are likely to think you're an ass, but won't say anything about it and probably act friendly. Fair enough, but that is an awful lot of mind reading on his part. Most likely they have their own problems to worry about and don't really care, and probably have said that in support of her because I hurt her feelings when I found out about her ex. I'm not proud of it, but it happened, and I need to move on. He left me with some words of wisdom let me have the motivatation to change the things I can, the patience to deal with those I can't, and the wisdom to know the difference between the two. I can't change things with her, but I can control how I feel (to an extent). This **** will only be as bad as I let it, and I think facing her friends is an important step for my healing, as well as forgiveness of myself for losing "dignity" when I told her off. In fact, I'd like to repair my friendships with them, and this is a necessary step. I'm nervous as hell but these things are usually worse in my head than in actuality.
Author oppath Posted March 4, 2007 Author Posted March 4, 2007 It went really well. Most of her friends don't know there were ever any harsh words exchanged, some of them even invited me out to parties for next weekend (which I declined because I'm not ready to see her), and the one friend I thought for sure would think I was an ass, I approached her and apologized if I brought her into any drama and she said point blank "don't worry about it. Break ups suck. They rarely end well and people say irrational things." She was very nice about things. I feel so relieved. This is the problem with suffering from clinical depression, your thoughts become so irrational they further the depression, leading to further irrational thoughts. It feels good to know that all of these "friendships" (I met them and my ex at the same time, not through her) might survive several months down the road. I'm not ready to see her and probably can't ever be her friend, but it was good to face my fears and re-establish these connections. Hopefully now I can put this behind me and think rationally from here on out, and get over this depression.
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