scuderia Posted March 3, 2007 Posted March 3, 2007 hi guys! thanks for coming in.... i actually dunno how to put my thoughts over into words but i'll try my best so please bear with me yea? Have you all ever been in a situation where after being in no contact for a certain period of time (lets say about 6-7 months), you feel that you have made improvements in getting over a person but not totally yet. Given a choice you rather still not see them or bump into them caus you are not sure how you will feel? as in u think u will feel lousy so you rather not bump into them So 1 day when you do see them both it does not hurt actually as bad as you thought it would be... its like wat yr heart feels is different from what your mind thinks you would be feeling... i dunno how exactly to describe this. In my case i'm dreading meeting her and her guy caus my mind keeps telling me i will feel very lousy etc. however I bumped into her current bf while waititng for an elevator. i din feel anything at all... but somehow my mind tells me i should be feeling lousy.. i dunno whther its cause i've been thinking about her and what she did to me everyday since i started NC that thinking about the hurt has become a habit. so now even thought my heart dosent ache as much, my thoughts keep thinking about wat she did to me etc and makes me feel lousy. and because all this while i always not wanted to bump into them, and even though i did not feel very bad when i saw them together, i still do not feel like bumping into them again and hope to avoid them... Its like what i felt that time when i started NC has become so engrained in me that i still feel like i do not want to see them incase i feel lousy basically lemme break my thoughts into point form i dun want to see them together cause i think it will definitely hurt mei see them together, but it dosent hurt much or i don't feel anythign muchbut i still rather not see them together because i think it will hurt meand it goes on n on cause my "thinking" that it will hurt me has become a habit. Basically its a case of what my heart feels and what my mind makes me think i should feel are not in sync I dunno if i have explained my thoughts in a good manner so that you all can understand. But i hope someone can perhaps explain this better and maybe someone can tell me if wat i am feeling is normal etc...
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