woland Posted March 2, 2007 Posted March 2, 2007 I'm abroad for the year... she's back home. Says she loves me and wants to be with me. But said we shouldn't be together after a big fight earlier this month. I kept on pursuing it, getting more and more crazy and pathetic, until she finally told me a few days ago to never call her or email her again. There's no way I really can establish NC now, can I? It's too late. I can not call her, but it was her decision... so I'm just screwed, yes? Can someone who loves you and who called you on her own two days earlier to tell you that actually cut off contact like that for good, forever? Should I call her again at some point? Email her? Write a postcard? I feel like every step of the way I've screwed this up... She told me she loved me but was busy with friends for a few days, I sent her a nasty email, acted horrible, and was dumped. She said she wanted to talk and email and phone and see how things looked when I was back in the states... I did the same thing, acting pathetic when she called and bringing up relationship stuff when she just wanted to be lovey-dovey, and she pushed me even further away... said we should just talk by email... I did the same thing again, sending stupid emails... Now she's called me, as of a few days ago, and said that I shouldn't call her or email her ever again. Will this last for good? My brain is a mess. Common sense tells me that I've been pushing throughout and it's made things worse; I should just stop emailing and stop calling... they've been the sources of my problems... I should just wait, try to get over her, and hopefully she'll call again... But could I really have screwed this up for good because of my month of badgering? Will she forget about this because it was mainly a fault of distance and a tough month (family problems at home which she knows about).
Carl321 Posted March 3, 2007 Posted March 3, 2007 I cannot tell you that yes, she will contact you again someday. But if you leave her alone for now, odds are you will probably hear from her again. Unless there is someone else in the picture for her, curiosity alone is usually enough to bring them sniffing around again when the begging and pleading suddenly stop. This does not mean that she will want you back, but i can tell you that continuing what you are doing will definitely kill ALL CHANCES of a reconciliation. In her eyes right now, you are a needy, pathetic mess. That only causes her to pity you, not feel attracted to you. I come back to the opening scene of "Swingers", which is a must see film for all dumpees: "There is nothing you can do to make her want to come back, but there are plenty of things you can do to make her NOT want to come back." Leave her alone for now, and see how you feel in a month or so. Any feelings she has left for you are going to be extinguished forever if you keep doing what you are doing.
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