sassiex Posted March 2, 2007 Posted March 2, 2007 been with mm for a year and a half now , told him on sunday just gone that i loved him !! hes said it several times b4 , without a reaction from me, but i just could not hold it in any longer !!!!!!! SO I SAID IT ! FELT GOOD AT THE TIME........ but now im not so sure ? have i made a huge mistake ? will he become complacent now ??? i love so much and have for ages , i know he loves me but isnt it better that he just carried on wondering ? help xxx
sb129 Posted March 2, 2007 Posted March 2, 2007 Uh oh. You have to ask for reassurance from others after you tell someone (a MM) you love them.... what is wrong with this picture sassiex?
Author sassiex Posted March 2, 2007 Author Posted March 2, 2007 Uh oh. You have to ask for reassurance from others after you tell someone (a MM) you love them.... what is wrong with this picture sassiex? ummmmmmmm dont know please tell me!! never told a man a loved him b4 and actually meant it x:(
sb129 Posted March 2, 2007 Posted March 2, 2007 If you really mean it and he loves you back, then there shouldn't be any worries should there? I realise you may feel a little bit vulnerable because you have put your feelings on the line, and this is a natural feeling when we open ourselves up to someone. Because by doing that, we expose ourselves to the possibility of getting hurt. My only reservation is- what is the story with MM... is he MM for the duration or making moves to leave his W for you? Because depending on that, you may find yourself getting hurt at some point sassiex. Which I wouldn't wish on you, but I have the benefit of not being emotionally involved, therefore I can be a little more pragmatic.
Author sassiex Posted March 2, 2007 Author Posted March 2, 2007 If you really mean it and he loves you back, then there shouldn't be any worries should there? I realise you may feel a little bit vulnerable because you have put your feelings on the line, and this is a natural feeling when we open ourselves up to someone. Because by doing that, we expose ourselves to the possibility of getting hurt. My only reservation is- what is the story with MM... is he MM for the duration or making moves to leave his W for you? Because depending on that, you may find yourself getting hurt at some point sassiex. Which I wouldn't wish on you, but I have the benefit of not being emotionally involved, therefore I can be a little more pragmatic. no he is making no plans to leave his wife.....not sure i want that. not yet any way , our children are too young xx i know in stupid but we cant help who we fall in love with can we
sb129 Posted March 2, 2007 Posted March 2, 2007 OUR children are too young?? You have kids with him? Or did you mean HIS kids? I am not sure I have the patience for this one Sassiex. Have you read all the OW/OM forums about MM not leaving their wives because of the kids etc etc etc? If you love him, tell him. If he loves you he should tell you back. If he has young children, and isn't leaving his wife, prepare to get hurt in the future.
whichwayisup Posted March 2, 2007 Posted March 2, 2007 So what is the point of staying with MM? Nothing has changed, he isn't leaving his wife. You'll still be the OW and now he knows you love him. Honestly, how does that change anything? I wish you would find a way to get away from him because you're selling yourself short by sticking with a MM. You will miss out on what a real true relationship is supposed to be about! Holidays alone, birthdays alone, no kids, no house, no meeting eachothers families... Yeah you can't help who you fall inlove with, but you can choose to not to let anything progress - Especially when the guy is already married and has no intention of ending his marriage.
Jinxx Posted March 2, 2007 Posted March 2, 2007 i love so much and have for ages , i know he loves me but isnt it better that he just carried on wondering ? help xxx Powerful words. Not worth much though unless he decides to leave his wife and commit to you.
Kenzo Posted March 2, 2007 Posted March 2, 2007 He said it to me first on New Years eve...on the phone...missing me terribly...and me, him. I did not say it back just then, but my heart just melted hearing the words come from his lips! I was just silent, and he said he knows... He said it again to me several times within days/weeks of New Year's Eve. and I would only smile or whisper an inaudible "me too"... Far from home, on a rare overnight, we had the most amazing night, absolutely movie picture perfect...lying in bed, we were both almost asleep, her whispers it in my ear, and I could hold it back any longer, nor did I want to. It was very powerful... We don't say it often, it is always implied, and it is always in the air around us, we know it, it has helped move us to a stronger place where we talk about the future(?) and I have said it first on occasion, and it's funny, he melts when he hears it too.
puddleofmud Posted March 2, 2007 Posted March 2, 2007 Hi Sas! Good to hear from you, again, and hope you are doing well these days! No one can tell you WHAT is going to happen since you've admitted your feelings; you are just going to have to wait and see for yourself. It is up to YOU as to what kind of situation you want and how much you are willing to deal with? Or how secure you feel about this. It is all up to YOU, as you have choices about how you handle your life--so take good care of yourself and try your best to make wise choices that won't bring you heart-ache and regret. You are an adult woman with big girl panties! Which does mean that that you must deal with whatever consequences--come what may....so stay in touch. You seem like such a sweet woman and none of us want to see you hurt so do "file" for future reference what so many are advising.
Guest Posted March 3, 2007 Posted March 3, 2007 i HAD A NEIGHBOR THATwas eager to use my place in hand but we did not further out feelings. What I meant is just this, he has moved on towards a r/s that is more to his place in life and I am into another. We did extend our friendship, but after regarding our differences, jointly decided we were not compatible to engage intimately. We did, however continue our paths, until it was evident that going separate ways which we agreed amicably. I wish him well on his chosen path, and all that he, I concur will make him happier, and I feel he also respects my wishes as well. If I were to see him or with another, I would not hesitate to say hello, or sincerely bid him the best life has to offer, and would not engage in anything that would encounter ill feelings towards him or his life in the future. I chose not to waste negative energy as he was a friend and I have moved on as I. Past r/s don't mean you have to continue jealous remarks, or feel insecure as I have dealt with those childish and immature results. This is not the case and feel those that do; must define their own. I am in love and realize moreso, just needed the time and shared experiences to those that have enriched or enhanced my belief of what Love truly is to me. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Our lives may become entangled, misconstrued, but hopefully not mislead.
Author sassiex Posted March 8, 2007 Author Posted March 8, 2007 Hi Sas! Good to hear from you, again, and hope you are doing well these days! No one can tell you WHAT is going to happen since you've admitted your feelings; you are just going to have to wait and see for yourself. It is up to YOU as to what kind of situation you want and how much you are willing to deal with? Or how secure you feel about this. It is all up to YOU, as you have choices about how you handle your life--so take good care of yourself and try your best to make wise choices that won't bring you heart-ache and regret. You are an adult woman with big girl panties! Which does mean that that you must deal with whatever consequences--come what may....so stay in touch. You seem like such a sweet woman and none of us want to see you hurt so do "file" for future reference what so many are advising. cheers puddle of mud hows things with u x
lessonlearnt Posted March 8, 2007 Posted March 8, 2007 I work with my mm and about 2 years ago I told him on a Friday that I wished he was as much in love with me as I was with him. I didn't say anything else-I really didn't need to. At the time I didn't think that he was going to pull away from me. Well as he was leaving on the Friday he said to me "I will call you Monday", and then he went off sick for nearly 5 weeks. He didn't even have the decency to phone me when he was off to let me know how he was or how long he would be away for. Then the penny dropped, he was backing away from me because of what I had said, and as we worked for the same company he had to go sick to avoid me. His sick certificate said he was off with stress. It's funny looking back when you can see all the red flags, and I should have gathered from his actions that I probably made him feel guilty because he didn't feel the same way. Oh well we live and learn, even though we may not learn until we are in so deep that it hurts like hell to get out.
sb129 Posted March 8, 2007 Posted March 8, 2007 It's funny looking back when you can see all the red flags.Oh well we live and learn, even though we may not learn until we are in so deep that it hurts like hell to get out. Wise words. Oh so true.
Capatinacen Posted March 8, 2007 Posted March 8, 2007 no he is making no plans to leave his wife.....not sure i want that. not yet any way , our children are too young xx i know in stupid but we cant help who we fall in love with can we Do you and him have children together? If you love him, tell him. If he loves you he should tell you back. If he has young children, and isn't leaving his wife, prepare to get hurt in the future. I agree. Has he said why he doesn't want to leave his wife?
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