gonetildecember Posted March 2, 2007 Posted March 2, 2007 I'll try to keep this as short as possible. I met a guy in Janaury when I went home (I'm originally from an island in the Caribbean but have lived here for a while) for a mini vacation. He's the brother of one of my friends..and we ended up hanging out the last two days of my trip. We had sex (not the best idea) but I was just thinking of it as a fling, not expecting anything.. but he called the next day.. and wanted to chill again and we just hung out...and then called again the next day (the day i was leaving) When I got back here, I figured it was over.. but he called before i even landed to see if i got home alright.. SHOCKING.. i wasnt expecting any of that... so anyways we talked over MSN everyday up until last week.. he would tell me he missed me, would call me randomly at 3 in the morning to say hi... even asked if i wanted to meet for reading week somewhere... and although i never expected it to be more than a fling, I find myself really liking him. im going home for four months this summer and he keeps saying how excited he is to see me and chill with me... and his brother and our friend (even tho no one knew we hung out alone while i was there...) have picked up on it- i guess he mentionned it.. cuz they've teased me about it.. recently i havent talked to him a lot, we miss each other online, but he called this weekend to confirm when i was coming, cuz hes going away on business and wanted to make sure he saw me before he left (hes only going for three days) so i guess i ahve two questions: - is he serious? liek do ppl have long distance booty calls? would he put in this much effort (msging daily, telling ppl about me coming down, long distance calls- if it was just about the physical? - how do i keep myself in his mind.. i wont see him for another two months.. but i just dont want hi to forget about me.. what can i do to make sure i keep my space in his mind? lol
Mary3 Posted March 2, 2007 Posted March 2, 2007 Well first of all ...its not love. ( I know you did not mention that ) Its his infatuation with you and some lust. He is attracted to you. He liked what you did in bed. He also likes you as a person in some respect and would like to continue seeing you. His emotions spilled over a little bit here on something that was initially regarded as booty call x 3. Sometimes that happens with FWB's. Where do you want this to go ?
Trialbyfire Posted March 2, 2007 Posted March 2, 2007 It's pretty soon to tell what he's thinking. The next two months will be a good time to get to know each other better online and then the 4 months after that will be the kicker. You may find that he drives you nuts while you're there but you might also find that he's a worthwhile guy to get close to. I wouldn't take this too seriously until you get to know him better.
Author gonetildecember Posted March 2, 2007 Author Posted March 2, 2007 at first i didn't really care.. it was u know a fling to me but it was his persistance the days after when i was there (we only had sex that once, even tho we chilled three times after that.. and he could have tried but didnt) that is getting me interested even after we had sex he called the next day and we talked for quite a bit, he called to wish me a good trip.. when we talk now we talk about our families and our friends that we have in common and about everything.. work, school... he told me that he loves talking to me because he feels like he can be himself and i'm not like the other girls that want to get to know him because they know about him (he comes from a wealthy prestigious family) and im different because i was interested before i found all of this out. in hima see a lot of qualities that i would like in a long term relationship.. but i dont know if thats possible i found out from a friend that he asked about me a few days before i "met" him cuz he has seeen me out with his brother.. and he made sure i was going to be out that night.. so im not sure.. dunno what he's thinkin/looking forward to.. when he talks about me coming down, he never mentions sex or physical stuff.. he talks about going to the beach or dinner and random stuff like that.. so i dont know.. im kind of hoping that it could turn into SOMETHING.. im just nervous about him forgetting or messing it up
Author gonetildecember Posted March 2, 2007 Author Posted March 2, 2007 yeah and i was thinking that... we only got to hang out three times while i was there..,but its been the conversations online and by phone where ive really started to like him.. we talk about our families and school and his business and i dunno.. do guys maintain long distance for booty calls? he always tells me not to forget about him before i come back, im just worried it will be the opposite... my time there will tell.. im just trying to give myself the best shot possible before i get there.
Mary3 Posted March 2, 2007 Posted March 2, 2007 I think he thinks you are the Bomb He sounds like he is very interested in getting to know you. No , Booty Calls don't like to pay for Planes and Trains to get the goods. They just move to the next closest best thing. This one sounds like a Keeper
Author gonetildecember Posted March 2, 2007 Author Posted March 2, 2007 thanks Mary, i hope ur right i was talking to his cousins gf who told me that he hasnt dated in about a year and half.. a lot of girls try, but he's really into work and his fam .. so she's never really seen him with anyone in a while... but she said that he told her bf that he wants to make sure he doesn't leave on business until at least 2 days after i get there because he's really excited! i just want to maintain that interest level.. its hard trying to keep someone into u when u werent the one pursuing in the first place and ur in a completely different country. i dont want to come across as TOO into it, but i dont want to seem distant either
Mary3 Posted March 2, 2007 Posted March 2, 2007 Curious : You live in the US ? He lives out of the Country ?
Author gonetildecember Posted March 2, 2007 Author Posted March 2, 2007 im in canada.. he's in the caribbean (where im originally from)
Author gonetildecember Posted March 2, 2007 Author Posted March 2, 2007 Mary, any tips on anything i can do to keep me in his mind... our talking has definately been reduced recently to maybe twice a week or so... which i think is normal.. the momentum is dying down and we're both anxous to see each other but i just want to try to maintain his interst...
Art_Critic Posted March 2, 2007 Posted March 2, 2007 A note or letter sent to him thru the mail with your perfume sprayed on it..
Mary3 Posted March 2, 2007 Posted March 2, 2007 He is interested in you because you are interested in HIM and not his money and thats what he finds so attractive about you . Just continue doing what you are doing and be sincere and let us know how this takes off...
Author gonetildecember Posted March 2, 2007 Author Posted March 2, 2007 i will definately try.. the anticipation is killing me.. just under 2 months til i go down there for 4 months :S im just trying to not get too anxious before i go!
Author gonetildecember Posted March 2, 2007 Author Posted March 2, 2007 any more ideas out there for me?
Trialbyfire Posted March 2, 2007 Posted March 2, 2007 Okay, a little tough love advice here but... stop worrying about keeping his interest. If he's into you, he will continue to pursue. If he's not and this sounds terrible but hey, it's reality, there are billions of men out there. Just be yourself, keep in contact if he does. It sounds like he's interested in you, not the person trying to retain his interest. If it takes games to hold someone, they're usually not the type of person you want to keep around.
Author gonetildecember Posted March 2, 2007 Author Posted March 2, 2007 thanks tbf i think i've just been worried cuz we haven't talked as much lately.. and i equated that with a loss of interest... but he texted this morning just to say that he missed me and that he's been really busy with the store.. so i guess i'm just letting my paranoia get the better of me thanks again for the advice.
Kamille Posted March 2, 2007 Posted March 2, 2007 Hi GTD! Nice to know you've met someone else! It does sound like it's going well and you shouldn't have to worry about it too much! The snail mail letter does sound like a good idea. I've been in LTD dating situations before and that was something that I really enjoyed. I don't know what interests you share in common but you could send him either a book or a CD that you found interesting. Trialbyfire is right though. He's already demonstrated that he is into you so don't worry so much about his interest level. You obviously still have power but I hope you're not snowed in today! (There was a wall of ice blocking my driveway this morning...)
Author gonetildecember Posted March 2, 2007 Author Posted March 2, 2007 Hi kamille! i missed u... it feels so much better to be out of the second chances forum lol It took me 40 minutes to get out of the driveway today! crazy lol but yeah, i'm going to try the mail thing.. and he said he'd call tonight cuz he wanted my help picking out new clothing for his store (he owns a clothing store) so at least that's something that we can discuss that we have in common! still receptive to any other ideas u guys have
Pretty Fly Posted March 2, 2007 Posted March 2, 2007 Sending something in the post is a great idea, I love getting surprise post!
Trialbyfire Posted March 2, 2007 Posted March 2, 2007 Moi aussi. Great idea Kamille. The only thing that arrives via post, well, besides junk mail, lol, are either presents or something I ordered online so it's always fun when I get a parcel.
Author gonetildecember Posted March 3, 2007 Author Posted March 3, 2007 i've secured his mailing address.. so i'm gonna send him a little letter lol
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