jgaz3124 Posted March 1, 2007 Posted March 1, 2007 Here is a question for everyone...Do you think that after a period of time has gone by after the breakup, that you have to start training yourself not to think of that person anymore? I know that it is good right after the breakup to go through the emotions that you have to go through, but after months go by and you are still thinking about them all the time is it healthy to train yourself not to think of them anymore or should you constantly let yourself think of them for however long it takes you to forget them?
Trialbyfire Posted March 1, 2007 Posted March 1, 2007 Absolutely. That's all part of NC. It's like breaking an addiction, whether toxic or otherwise. It's also part of keeping yourself busy with other interests to ensure you stop thinking about the other person.
princesspeaches Posted March 2, 2007 Posted March 2, 2007 Here is a question for everyone...Do you think that after a period of time has gone by after the breakup, that you have to start training yourself not to think of that person anymore? I know that it is good right after the breakup to go through the emotions that you have to go through, but after months go by and you are still thinking about them all the time is it healthy to train yourself not to think of them anymore or should you constantly let yourself think of them for however long it takes you to forget them? I personally think that everything happens for a reason. I've always had a few months readjustment period but I've been stuck on this one guy since we broke up a year ago (for very stupid things) and we'll I went on a few dates but it never felt right. I'm happy to say things are finally working out and we are making things work this time. in short, maybe you haven't given yourself enough time or maybe theres a different reason....otherwise i agree in part with trial, keeping busy and maintaining no contact is the best bet.
whichwayisup Posted March 2, 2007 Posted March 2, 2007 After you heal it is important to move on, and that means not letting your mind drift off into fantasy about the person who you've worked hard on getting over. It really serves no purpose to think of that person, especially if it is many months or years after the break up. Keeping busy, distracting yourself when the thoughts come into your mind is a must! It is retraining your brain, getting out of the habit of caring and wanting that person in your daily life. This also applys to the loss of a loved one due to death. You have those low moments, and times, but you gotta pick yourself up and get on with life, even if it hurts.
justagirlforever Posted March 2, 2007 Posted March 2, 2007 Forget? No Not think about? Yes That's my opinion anyway. I wouldn't want to forget my past. Erase my past. My past is part of me. Part of who I am now. My past formed the foundation of my current actions & reactions. My new (hopefully more balanced!) decisions. My new, (slightly) wiser (and more informed) outlook on life.
nittygritty Posted March 2, 2007 Posted March 2, 2007 I think you have to do whatever works best for you. I have found that it is easier for me to think that the person I was in love with died. He no longer exists in my life. Then every so often, when he contacts me out of the blue, I have to force myself to think that he is a stranger to me and I don't know or trust this person. Even when he shows me glimpses of the guy I miss. Is it working? Not as much as I need it too but much better then when I would think about memories of him or us. Thinking of good or bad memories is too emotional for me. I try my best not to go there. I also try to look at it like I'm glad that I know that I can feel that way about someone in a love relationship and I hope that I can feel that way again about someone that feels the same way about me. Someone more deserving of my love than he was. It sounds good anyway. I still struggle with trying to make sense of it and then I just have to block him out of my head as much as possible. Or write on a Coping Forum . There really isn't any easy remedy. Take Care
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