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Posted

I broke off with my girlfriend of 7 yrs because we seemed to be stuck in a rut. We had both had long term marraiges., and both got divorced around the same time. When our relationship blossomed. We had a great 7 years of course there were ups and downs during it. Mainly because neither one of us wanted to commit but generally is was really good. We lived in separate house but we stayed (mainly at hers ) every day and night. Just living together but both paying our own bills etc. Some life altering things happened in the months just before the break. That made me think of where our lives, particularly mine was going. I decided to break up and try being single for a while, at the end of 2005 we split. She was devastated. We still remained friends. Throughout the year. I play golf and was playing golf with a woman once a week that used to be both our friends, She did in the early days of playing golf with her ask me if I felt any romantice between us. I said No I liked her just as a friend, we got along well, (I taught her golf and she paid for the games.). I had no romantic feelings for, we were just friends. In March 2006 the golf friend filed for her own divorce. But even though we were just friends my ex felt we were seeing each other romantically, we were not however. any way to cut a long story short I finshed playing golf with that lady friend in Nov 2006 ..My ex and I had remained good friends all year. At the end of 2006 I knew I loved my ex so much and I felt that I wanted to reconcile but not like before this time get married and share everything. When I told her this........... Bam she shut me out. Told me that she was over me. We could be friends but nothing more than that. She did not love me. She said it took her 9 months to get over the heartache of losing me. Now she is moving on. It has been 6 weeks since I asked her to come back. We have a some lunches and a couple of really nice talks and just when I think we are working it out she goes back to being angry and shuts me down again.

Is it over ????? or do I stand a chance of getting her back???? . Now because I bugged her too much, she says she wants me not to call her or anything, she will call me if she wants too. Can anyone please answer me?......have I lost her forever? I love so her so much what can I do? I was a comlete fool. Will some please answer what they think.

Posted

She's hurt and she feels rejected. Who can blame her? The best thing you can do is respect her wishes. You are still consumed with what you want, your own feelings and she can see its still all about you. I would bet she's wondering what's to stop this from happening again in the future. Once trust is lost it takes a very long time to begin to earn back.

 

Show you care by doing what she needs, not what you want. You can't expect to break up with her, have a change of heart and she comes running back with open arms. It might work that way in the first few months after a breakup but given the time that has gone bye she's learned she can make it without you.

 

Leave her alone. She knows how you feel. Let her be the one to reach out to you if she decides its worth another shot.

 

One last thing: do not bombard her with phone calls and flowers and all that stuff. Its only going to strengthen her conviction that you are not listening to her.

 

I hope it works out for the both of you.

Posted

Guest put it perfectly. Leave her alone and let her figure things out. She knows how you feel. Badgering her at this point only makes clear that your love is entirely selfish. And selfish love never brings them back--it only confirms for them why the relationship ended.

Posted

Thanks for the reply. I do love her so much. I will not contact her at all and hopre that someday she will call. We really did love each other but I tented to push her away. I am a bit insecure. Thanks again

 

 

  Guest XYZ said:
She's hurt and she feels rejected. Who can blame her? The best thing you can do is respect her wishes. You are still consumed with what you want, your own feelings and she can see its still all about you. I would bet she's wondering what's to stop this from happening again in the future. Once trust is lost it takes a very long time to begin to earn back.

 

Show you care by doing what she needs, not what you want. You can't expect to break up with her, have a change of heart and she comes running back with open arms. It might work that way in the first few months after a breakup but given the time that has gone bye she's learned she can make it without you.

 

Leave her alone. She knows how you feel. Let her be the one to reach out to you if she decides its worth another shot.

 

One last thing: do not bombard her with phone calls and flowers and all that stuff. Its only going to strengthen her conviction that you are not listening to her.

 

I hope it works out for the both of you.

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