guin_girl Posted March 1, 2007 Posted March 1, 2007 ok, for those that don't know, I went to a game tonight and I just knew I would run into my ex... He had sent an email last week asking if I would be at the game, a one liner, just asking that. I didn't respond but I did think his only reason for contact was to get back some movies he lent me.... So of course, there he was, I didn't think he saw me, I mean there were a couple thousand people there, I was on a mission to get beer, and I did see him standing a little too effeminate for my taste in the middle of the area, (isn't that sad, but that's what I thought at that particular moment) but I made a swooping path away from him... he never looked my way, was standing there all by himself, obviously came alone, had absolutely no clue that he saw me... was actually proud I had avoided him... I guess that email was because he wanted us to go together.... so I guess the man upstairs had it right when he made sure I forgot my phone in the car so I wasn't disturbed during the game... I had a GREAT time with all of my friends by the way and they all now know he's a bad breaker upper and are on my team... Anyway, I get back to my car... I have the following voice mail from him during the middle of the game... he LEFT during the game, he doesn't have a cell phone, that means he left an hour into it and called and left the following: hey guin_girl, LONG PAUSE... well gee, yea, I saw you at the game, you had a yellow shirt on, you walked right by, but... LONG PAUSE... at the same time... hey if you can return those two tapes and whatever that I gave you, it would be greatly appreciated....I mean you could have stopped by and said hi, but... LONG PAUSE.... at the same time.... you do what you do... and... LONG PAUSE... give me a call.... bye How should I respond???????? I did try to call him back, but the line was busy, so I'm taking that as a sign that I shouldn't call.... Please help.... what should I do???
Dubb Posted March 1, 2007 Posted March 1, 2007 Sounds to me like he fishing. Mail him his tapes or give them to a mutual friend. NC yo!!
Island Girl Posted March 1, 2007 Posted March 1, 2007 Put the tapes -- no letter no message NOTHING into an envelope and mail them, preferably certified so he has to sign that he received them and there can be no excuse to ever contact you again. Seriously, he sounds like a total *prize*! Move on to better things and the effeminate guy wallow in his self absorbed existence.
Trialbyfire Posted March 1, 2007 Posted March 1, 2007 I don't know your story guin_girl but if you don't want any further contact with him, I would also encourage you to return his movies and any other items he wants back. This way he has no excuse to contact you, if you're honestly serious about wanting to move on. N/C does work well for moving on. It's like breaking an addiction.
Author guin_girl Posted March 1, 2007 Author Posted March 1, 2007 Well I have maintained no contact since Jan 26th... including today... I didn't want to have it this way since we have mutual friends and it was a problem (for him) that I was in the group and he wasn't... he has been excluded from the group.... but he did it to himself... all he had to do was actually "break up" and not disappear...
Author guin_girl Posted March 1, 2007 Author Posted March 1, 2007 This is what I want to send to him... I am so angry at his stupid voice mail... comes across so cocky, like he's so much better than me... I don't approach a "man" that disappeared on me and I'm the bad person???? So here it is: I got your voice mail. Tried to call you back but the line was busy. I know I have your tapes, and you have my penguin coolie. How do you want to exchange them? BTW... I can't believe the pompous attitude of yours on my voice mail... if I did see you, why would I come up to you? It was made perfectly clear by your disappearing act and your negative attitude towards me that you preferred no contact with me... if you wanted that to change, apparently you saw me, you could have said hi yourself... but as you said "you do what you do".... What do you think?
alasia Posted March 1, 2007 Posted March 1, 2007 So here it is: I got your voice mail. Tried to call you back but the line was busy. I know I have your tapes, and you have my penguin coolie. How do you want to exchange them? BTW... I can't believe the pompous attitude of yours on my voice mail... if I did see you, why would I come up to you? It was made perfectly clear by your disappearing act and your negative attitude towards me that you preferred no contact with me... if you wanted that to change, apparently you saw me, you could have said hi yourself... but as you said "you do what you do".... What do you think? IMO...don't send it. That message comes across as very angry - do you really want him to know that you're still affected by what he says/does? Do you really want to give him that power? I'd do what a previous poster said and mail him the tapes, with no letter inside or anything. He'll know the package is from you and by not putting any kind of note in with the tapes, you're making a far louder point than you would with words. Also; decoide whether you really need the penguin coolie. I lived with my boyfriend for 6 months and in that time, bought a lot of stuff for the house - candles, cushions, cutlery, an iron...the list goes on. When we split I kept contacting him or going over there to collect my stuff, 'remembering' more and more things that I'd 'left' at his place. Really, I didn't need any of it. I live with my parents so why do I need cushions and cutlery?! It was just an excuse to go over there and see him, hoping that when I collected my stuff up he'd realise the error of his ways and ask me to move back in - but obviously that never would have happened. If you can live without the coolie, let him keep it. If you really feel like you need it, then either buy a new one or send a friend to collect it from him. You don't need to see or speak to him.
shockandawed Posted March 1, 2007 Posted March 1, 2007 This is what I want to send to him... I am so angry at his stupid voice mail... comes across so cocky, like he's so much better than me... I don't approach a "man" that disappeared on me and I'm the bad person???? So here it is: I got your voice mail. Tried to call you back but the line was busy. I know I have your tapes, and you have my penguin coolie. How do you want to exchange them? BTW... I can't believe the pompous attitude of yours on my voice mail... if I did see you, why would I come up to you? It was made perfectly clear by your disappearing act and your negative attitude towards me that you preferred no contact with me... if you wanted that to change, apparently you saw me, you could have said hi yourself... but as you said "you do what you do".... What do you think? GG, Why do you want him to know he is affecting you this much? He is such a coward by his disappearing and then these little ways to try to contact you. Don't give him any of this satisfaction. I know you are ticked, but being cool will bother him more. I got your voice mail. I know I have your tapes, and you have my penguin coolie. How do you want to exchange them?
Author guin_girl Posted March 1, 2007 Author Posted March 1, 2007 well it has been suggested, by my male friends, to let him know that I will be at a certain bar before the game tomorrow night and I can have the movies with me if he wants. I think throwing them in a box is the chicken way out... thoughts?
dropdeadlegs Posted March 1, 2007 Posted March 1, 2007 give me a call. Give me a call? Is he serious? Could he have been drunk? When did he give YOU a call, as a courtesy if nothing else? Tell me about these tapes. How important are they (to him)? I'm inclined to say "what tapes?" but I am a punisher of bad behavior at times and this guy has totally pissed ME off in the last 30 days. Where was the "thank you for the cow?" Noooo, he says "you do what you do." All I've seen is that you DID what he deserved, NOTHING, and it pained you to do it at that! I say smash the tapes with a hammer and send them back. He has got such nerve.... Okay, I'm feeling a little better after my personal rant. I probably wouldn't have the tapes anymore and would have already returned them by mail. I don't like loose ends. My suggestion is to package them, no note or acknowledgment of his VM at all, and put them in the mail ASAP. He would get them quickly and that would be the end. In the meantime, let him wonder what you will do with continued NC. I would definitely let the coolie go. Let it be a constant reminder of what an idiot he has been. I don't really need to know about the tapes, I think they were taped games.
Island Girl Posted March 1, 2007 Posted March 1, 2007 So here it is: I got your voice mail. Tried to call you back but the line was busy. I know I have your tapes, and you have my penguin coolie. How do you want to exchange them? Wouldn't do it guin_girl. Seriously. ANY contact from you, no matter how small, will be taken by this guy as you "reaching out". His ego will let himself believe "yeah, she wants me." BTW... I can't believe the pompous attitude of yours on my voice mail... if I did see you, why would I come up to you? It was made perfectly clear by your disappearing act and your negative attitude towards me that you preferred no contact with me... if you wanted that to change, apparently you saw me, you could have said hi yourself... but as you said "you do what you do".... Contrary to what others have said I believe this comes across as having underlying feelings of rejection and anst over not having contact or closure. The "you could have said hi yourself" comment speaks to the fact that if he saifd "hi" you'd talk to him - and you shouldn't. After how he has behaved he doesn't deserve to cordial conversation. He deserves to be unacknowledged and insignificant. That is how you should make him feel. No contact at all. Mail his tapes. I'd let the penguin cooler thing go. Try to find a replacement but it will not be worth how you will feel if you contact him to do an exchange and you have to actually communicate with his ridiculous A$$ - and what do you do if he conveniently "forgets" the penguin cooley? Just forget it - mail the tapes and be done.
dropdeadlegs Posted March 1, 2007 Posted March 1, 2007 I got sidetracked by PM's and was just about to reply concerning the bar exchange idea. I agree with Island Girl's take on not giving him the pleasure of even speaking with you at all. It WILL feed his distorted ego and he will think that you still want him in your life in any way he will allow. Again, mail the tapes, forget the coolie.
Author guin_girl Posted March 1, 2007 Author Posted March 1, 2007 give me a call. Give me a call? Is he serious? Could he have been drunk? When did he give YOU a call, as a courtesy if nothing else? He had definitely been drinking... Tell me about these tapes. How important are they (to him)? They are movies that he would watch with his wife... sentimental I guess... but he's the one that cries to Titanic... so in his words "you do what you do"... well I sent an email... if he wants the movies, I'll be at the bar before the game, he can get them then... I have a "date" with me, so there won't be any talking or anything... PS: the "date" is a coworker...
Author guin_girl Posted March 1, 2007 Author Posted March 1, 2007 I got sidetracked by PM's and was just about to reply concerning the bar exchange idea. I agree with Island Girl's take on not giving him the pleasure of even speaking with you at all. It WILL feed his distorted ego and he will think that you still want him in your life in any way he will allow. Again, mail the tapes, forget the coolie. crap.... I already sent it
dropdeadlegs Posted March 1, 2007 Posted March 1, 2007 Oh well, it's not the end of the world. Maybe he won't even show. Glad you'll have male company. I don't care if it's your cousin, he wouldn't know that. Now I'm back to smash the tapes since they are easily replaceable. He stomped on your heart dammit! I think I get angrier during other peoples breakups than I do in my own. It's easier to be angry with someone I never even liked. I am so glad that you had a GREAT time at the game with your friends. I thought about you at about midnight last night. I was watching a movie when my mind suddenly popped up with "Oh! Wonder how guin_girl's game went? Gotta check her thread first thing in the morning!" It's funny how involved in a LSer's life I can get...I'm startruck and watch a soap opera too. I know being alone is hard, but I really think that you deserve better than this guy and in the long run his drinking might have been a problem. Then again I drink way more than my BF and it doesn't cause problems. I'm usually a fun loving drinker, never angry, but sometimes I get a little weepy over stupid things. If it was a problem, he wouldn't be stocking the ice chest (I like them iced own) with a case of Bud Lite for me every weekend. He'll drink like 4 and I'll drink the rest! Over the weekend, that is....
Author guin_girl Posted March 1, 2007 Author Posted March 1, 2007 Well the exchange is going down tomorrow at the bar... he actually gave an ok response... told me who he's going with and that he has my coozie as well as some nascar item for me... I know it's some freebie that he was given by one of his vendors, but interesting... shows he's been thinking of me obviously... so now I just have to remain cool, calm and collected... he knows my "date" is a coworker, better than putting my coworker into a possibly uncomfortable situation... so of course, I will update those that care about my saga.... I thought about you at about midnight last night. I was watching a movie when my mind suddenly popped up with "Oh! Wonder how guin_girl's game went? Gotta check her thread first thing in the morning!" It's funny how involved in a LSer's life I can get... Thank you, I know that I too think about the cyber friends that I have made on here and it's amazing how much I care about their lives... and when I put myself out there, I get excited to see those that have helped me in the past, take the time to support me on another step in my journey.
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