MizzouFan1985 Posted March 1, 2007 Posted March 1, 2007 I am dealing with a situation where I have developed feelings for a coworker, but because of our work situation, we cannot take it to the next level. However, we are very close emotionally, take lunch frequently (with me buying most of the time), do lots of fun stuff on work trips, and occasionally do stuff outside of the office at night (e.g dinner, drinks and a movie). My friends say "you two are dating, without really dating." Quite honestly, we have not had an in-depth conversation about it, so I am not quite sure where I stand. However, she never calls me a friend or a brother, she never asks about other girls (or brings up guys), and neither of us date (even though we are both very eligible). My friends say that she is probably scared to talk about it because of her concern about taking to another level at this point (which really is a no-no). Does this "dating without dating" concept make sense?
norajane Posted March 1, 2007 Posted March 1, 2007 Not communicating or not talking about dating doesn't mean you aren't actually dating. You're just not admitting that's what you're doing. Eventually, it won't be enough for one of you and someone will say something. Or, what's more likely, is that you might be misinterpreting things...perhaps she is casually dating other people or might start dating someone in particular without telling you. If you're 'not dating' then neither of you is obligated to refrain from dating someone else. That could upset the dont-ask-don't-tell policy you have now.
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