Engelskreiger Posted March 1, 2007 Posted March 1, 2007 NC means No Contact. Don't do it. Believe me, I understand how hard it is not to. But if you have ANY self control USE IT ALL to keep yourself from talking to them. I wish I could follow my own advice and everyone else's . I feel rediculous. And sad. One more bit of advice. Guys currently in relationships. Take a good hard look at your relationship. First ask yourself if you truely love her. If you do, take a good look at whether or not you are treating her right. if not, FIX IT! Because one day SHE WILL LEAVE, and you might end up in my (and many others) position. I will spend every day from now on regretting many decisions I made in the past. Don't wait till it's to late, fix your relationship before while she still loves you.
Dubb Posted March 1, 2007 Posted March 1, 2007 I treated my ex good and she left me! She even told me I was the best BF she ever had. I should of asked her if I could use her as a reference for my resume so the next girl will know I am a great BF upfront:p
Author Engelskreiger Posted March 1, 2007 Author Posted March 1, 2007 I treated her good to, but not good enough. We had many fights, there were little things that caused them, that in hindsight, I really think I could have worked on. but I kept getting comfortable and falling in the same traps. She said I was the best BF she'd ever had as well. I guess next time, i'll just have to be better. It's not easy to make sense of it. I really don't know what else to say.
NorCalDave Posted March 1, 2007 Posted March 1, 2007 I treated my woman like a princess. She had never been loved more. It scared her, my age scared her, she wasn't ready to let go of her ex. These are all her issues, not mine. I loved and didn't cheat. Sometimes the other people aren't ready for or can't handle, us.
numsey Posted March 1, 2007 Posted March 1, 2007 Yeah I treated my girlfriend like a queen too. Never raised my voice at her or even came close to starting a fight. Even took her to Disney after she said she had never been. By her own words I was "the best thing that ever happened to her." In the end it came down to me not wanting to go to the club after working 14 hour shifts. As far as using her as a reference, other women will see how well you treated her. Their comming out of the woodwork for me because everyone saw how good I was to her.
spinback Posted March 2, 2007 Posted March 2, 2007 From your post I'll assume that things didn't work out in the end, sorry to hear it. Seems to me that most people can't go NC straight away, regardless of what people tell them. I was the same. Contact is a mistake you have to make in order to appreciate the benefits of NC.
Author Engelskreiger Posted March 2, 2007 Author Posted March 2, 2007 Talking to her was part of my daily routine, and talking to her when she wasn't mad made everything feel better. Almost like what had happened didn't. But, they aren't thinking about getting back together. You are. Then you slip something in about it, and it makes 'em angry. I actually felt better after I made her mad, because she'd scream at me, and I would remember why I wanted to break up in the first place. An hour later, I would be upset again, because I miss all the good times. I've told myself every day since the breakup "I'm done, I'm not calling her today" and it was inevitable. I took her off my buddy list, I removed her name from my phone. I deleted every email. But I had her number memorized already. Her screenname as well. Calling her was impulsive, before I even knew I was doing it, i'd already made the call. Sometimes she'd answer, sometimes she wouldn't. And when she wouldn't, it made things worse. But I wasn't perfect. I fought with her. It took me awhile of her yelling at me, but I raised my voice. But every time we thought our relationship was in danger, we'd try to work it out. But somehow, always slipped back into the same stuff. Except for the last month, we didn't fight at all. A month doesn't seem like a long time, but we'd been fighting at least weekly for a long time. No fights in a month was an accomplishment, and it looked like everything would be fine. But one day I got all depressed for no reason, thinking about all the things that went wrong in our relationship, and I broke up with her. The next day, I thought I was crazy. I tried to apologize, but she was too far gone. We spent every day of the next two weeks, reliving a breakup. At first, we were trying to hang on, she wasn't sure she wanted to let go either. And now, she doesn't want to be with me ever. I've given up all hope that she'll want me back. I'm not even sure if i would want her back after everything we've done to eachother. But I can still say someday in the future after we've both forgotten about it, she still refuses to aknowledge any future between us. I guess I still love her, and I am STILL tryng to let her go completely.
sb129 Posted March 2, 2007 Posted March 2, 2007 So whats happened then since your last thread EK? Is it over for good now? Sorry to hear that. There is still a space in my queue...
Author Engelskreiger Posted March 2, 2007 Author Posted March 2, 2007 I kept talking to her, as friends, but inevitably bringing up the us situation. I'm still really trying the No Contact thing. I'm pretty determined this morning, but we'll see how the day goes. I have a doctors appointment this morning, and she wanted to see how it goes. I don't think it's to late for this no contact thing to work because she knows I'll be dying to tell her about the doctors appointment ( i was supposed to do this for a while, and it's part of the reason we broke up) and If i don't call her, it'll leave her wondering. Whaddya think? Btw, I am slowly getting over it. The memories and emotions don't hurt as bad as they used to, but I still cry at least daily.
sb129 Posted March 2, 2007 Posted March 2, 2007 Dont not tell her about the doctors appt just to score a point. Maybe after your appointment you should call her and tell her how it went, then say you would like to stop having contact with her for a while, as you feel you need it to get on with your life. Then leave it at that, and stick to NC.. You will heal in time. Promise.
Author Engelskreiger Posted March 2, 2007 Author Posted March 2, 2007 She said to me that she doesn't want to get back together with me. She doesn't see an us in the future. She said she wants someone completely different. But before that, she said "I wouldn't get back together with you unless we both had a couple different relationships" I don't get her. Is it safe to say that she doesn't know what she wants and I should just get on with my life and she might come back in a year or so? It sounds like shes saying things out of anger. But I dunno. I am trying to move on. I am trying to find people to talk to but I am having no success. And... that's making me think about her again. geez.
sb129 Posted March 2, 2007 Posted March 2, 2007 I think that you should just draw a line under it and try to move on. She doesn't want you now, and I doubt very much that in a years time you will still be pining after her, even in the unlikely event that she comes back to you. (may not seem like it at the moment tho) Don't forget- she is not right for you because of one simple thing- she doesn't want you for who you are right at this point in time. If someone had told me that a few years ago I think I could have saved myself a lot of grief!! I am sorry you have had to learn about NC the hard way! But it really does work!
sb129 Posted March 2, 2007 Posted March 2, 2007 I am trying to find people to talk to but I am having no success. Whaddya mean??? I am a person!!! We are talking.
Author Engelskreiger Posted March 2, 2007 Author Posted March 2, 2007 I can't talk to you one on one. I can't meet you, and even if i did, you're taken
sb129 Posted March 2, 2007 Posted March 2, 2007 Yes but why should that make a difference? you just split up with someone, you can take advice from anyone. This is nearly as good. Be positive! Anyway once you get to a certain post count you can PM anyone to your little hearts content!
sylvie12 Posted March 2, 2007 Posted March 2, 2007 hiello everyone i am startin again on this NC rule, not to get the person back (not after he blurted he was not in love with me) but it hurts, hurts real bad, he told me he truly e wants to remain friends, but if he really did, he wouldv called or email I did this NC thing, and he called, lot of good it did, i didnt play it cool, like some of the threads suggested, when i did he had a fit saying this is all an act, cuz now he knows me well it seems. But I'm on day number two after falling off the bandwagon, any suggestions, is it truly over when someone said they dont feel the same way for you,this guy i knew less than 4 months. sufferin southern belle
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