Trialbyfire Posted March 1, 2007 Posted March 1, 2007 For me, there's also a strong sense of committment and a common attitude towards life in general. I take really long to actually start a relationship with somebody....in a way, it's probably my way of trying to see how that person behaves in different situations. Maybe I don't know them fully, but the eing more informed I am, the better the chances of things being smooth. This may sound a bit selfish - but I don't want to "waste time" getting really close to a guy and then discover that it was all smoke and mirrors. It costs too much time, and more importantly, too much emotional energy. I'd rather do my homework first. Somewhere, I do believe that there's a good time for everything in life, and I don't want to be sitting twiddling my fingers at 60. Which seems likely to happen I guess, given the way I think!! I also do the same. All or nothing so I completely understand where you're coming from. I do have to say that even getting to know someone for a length of time doesn't always help. People change and you and I can be fooled so who's to say that ours is a good way, lol. As for waiting until you're 60, nah. You're young, beautiful and intelligent. Someone will come your way when you least expect it. Believe it.
Author This_Too_Shall_Pass Posted March 1, 2007 Author Posted March 1, 2007 With my current bf, I can say it was not at all about his looks. We "met" on a forum two years ago, and became friends online. I was attracted to his intelligence, point of view, sense of humor, and shared interests we had. I was in another relationship at the time, as was he, so we never crossed the line of friendship. I ended a bad relationship, started another, and it turned bad. (I have had some terrible judgement of men in my past; picking abusers) Our friendship grew stronger. Once we were both "free", we admitted the feelings had became deeper than that of just friends. And now, here we are. With him, I started the relationship based completely on a deep bond of friendship & affection. It was over a year before I ever saw a picture of him. Truth be told, he is the exact opposite of "my type". I fell in love with what was on the inside. His kindness, passion for life, and strong sense of what is right & wrong. Wow. I must say you got lucky there, Audero. My last relationship started somewhat like that, in the sense that we were "email friends" for 6 years. Even after we started the relationship, it was a year before I saw his photo. Etc, etc... Of course, the way it turned out, I am now twice shy of online stuff
johan Posted March 1, 2007 Posted March 1, 2007 This may sound a bit selfish - but I don't want to "waste time" getting really close to a guy and then discover that it was all smoke and mirrors. Uh oh. Smoke and mirrors are very important to some guys. The mirrors on the ceiling and the cigarettes to enhance the after-glow are supposed to make things wonderful. But according to you it just makes the guy a fraud. This is definitely worth noting.
Author This_Too_Shall_Pass Posted March 1, 2007 Author Posted March 1, 2007 I also do the same. All or nothing so I completely understand where you're coming from. I do have to say that even getting to know someone for a length of time doesn't always help. People change and you and I can be fooled so who's to say that ours is a good way, lol. As for waiting until you're 60, nah. You're young, beautiful and intelligent. Someone will come your way when you least expect it. Believe it. Excellent-ly put. All or nothing. That's how I am. In any relationship - romantic, friendship, whatever - I am completely sincere. And I'm proud of being that way. The downside is, I expect the same from the other person, particularly if it's a love interest. Aww..thank you for all the nice words. I guess I might have some hope. Hmm...a light at the end of the tunnel....if it doesn't turn out to be a train
Author This_Too_Shall_Pass Posted March 1, 2007 Author Posted March 1, 2007 Uh oh. Smoke and mirrors are very important to some guys. The mirrors on the ceiling and the cigarettes to enhance the after-glow are supposed to make things wonderful. But according to you it just makes the guy a fraud. This is definitely worth noting. What's with the "after-glow"? LOL In any case, I'm allergic to cigarette smoke. Ha.
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