chill chic Posted February 28, 2007 Posted February 28, 2007 Also, if the girl looks too good to them, as in, they aren't equal in looks or so they think, will they stop pursuing a girl? I have guy friends, always have, but it seems like when I'm interested in a guy they find out I have guy friends and then they kinda turn their back? Why does there have to be drama? lol Or do I create it? I'm just an outgoing person, so if I'm out with a guy and happen to talk to his friend, just because it's his friend and I'm being nice, the other guy feels threatened or something. So...if they think a girl is out of their league "looks-wise" will they stop pursuing?
Pyro Posted February 28, 2007 Posted February 28, 2007 Also, if the girl looks too good to them, as in, they aren't equal in looks or so they think, will they stop pursuing a girl? I have guy friends, always have, but it seems like when I'm interested in a guy they find out I have guy friends and then they kinda turn their back? Why does there have to be drama? lol Or do I create it? I'm just an outgoing person, so if I'm out with a guy and happen to talk to his friend, just because it's his friend and I'm being nice, the other guy feels threatened or something. So...if they think a girl is out of their league "looks-wise" will they stop pursuing? Without a doubt will some guys turn away for those reasons. They may be too intimidated by a girls looks, meanng that they will start to believe that they aren't worthy of having someone so attractive, or they will start questioning why someone so attractive is with them? It boils down to how much confidence and how secure a guy is with himself. I am not sure how accurate or true this is, but a guy could become insecure/untrusting if they see that the girl has guy friends because they look at it as though they are in competition with these other guys and these guys worry that there is a higher risk of the girl cheating, since she has guy companions around them. Pretty much the insecure guys will say to never be friends with the opposite sex, but having female friends has helped me in the dating world and it helped me understand what and how women act and think.
Author chill chic Posted February 28, 2007 Author Posted February 28, 2007 Without a doubt will some guys turn away for those reasons. They may be too intimidated by a girls looks, meanng that they will start to believe that they aren't worthy of having someone so attractive, or they will start questioning why someone so attractive is with them? It boils down to how much confidence and how secure a guy is with himself. I am not sure how accurate or true this is, but a guy could become insecure/untrusting if they see that the girl has guy friends because they look at it as though they are in competition with these other guys and these guys worry that there is a higher risk of the girl cheating, since she has guy companions around them. Pretty much the insecure guys will say to never be friends with the opposite sex, but having female friends has helped me in the dating world and it helped me understand what and how women act and think. very good points and you're right, it all boils down to the guy's own self-esteem and security/insecurity. dating is hard I tell ya lol but there will come a time where it's not so hard I guess. Is it true that better looking girls have a harder time at dating??
Pyro Posted February 28, 2007 Posted February 28, 2007 Is it true that better looking girls have a harder time at dating?? You tell me.
Author chill chic Posted February 28, 2007 Author Posted February 28, 2007 You tell me. yah it is, at least I think
Pyro Posted February 28, 2007 Posted February 28, 2007 yah it is, at least I think Alot of guys think that if they are with an attractive woman, that they have to try twice as hard to keep her interested because if not, then she will leave him for someone else because she could have who ever she wants. Again, it boils down to the insecurities and the lack of confidence in a guy.
nicki Posted February 28, 2007 Posted February 28, 2007 Yeah, I agree. I'll add that a lot of guys would like you to show in public that you are into THEM, not their friends or even your own male friends. That means being friendly with their friends, but nothing that could be construed as flirting. (After all, you don't know them that well yet.) That means being affectionate with your date, looking at him adoringly and complimenting him in front of his friends. His friends don't get that kind of treatment because they aren't at his status -- he is yours. Is it possible that you are very friendly and affectionate with guys and it is being taken the wrong way? (Not saying that is going on, but it's worth wondering.) I might tone it down with the male friends until the new guy feels comfortable that you only have eyes for him....and make sure you make him part of your circle of male friends so they become his friends, too....even if he declines being social with them, he will appreciate being asked to be included. Anyway, just thoughts. I've been in the same situation myself. I was always acting innocently enough, but others didn't understand. It was something that I had to sensitize myself to.
Topper Posted February 28, 2007 Posted February 28, 2007 In my past I have dated some very beautiful woman. One woman that i went out with wasa Playboy Bunny. Some men might be intimidated by looks, that's very true. On the other side of the coin. A Woman who is hung up on her looks can be a big turn off. In other words it is all about her and how she looks. She knows she is attractive and puts out an vibe if you will, that she is somehow better then anyone else. She is very self centered and shallow. That self centered attitude make even the most beautiful woman ugly IMHO. As for have a lot of guy friends, Some woman do crave the attention of men. They collect as many guys around them as they can. Even if there isn't any romantic inclination on her part. She just needs that fix she gets from have all these guys as her Friends I suppose it does give some sort of gratification to the female ego. In both cases it is a matter of degrees. a woman can take pride in how she looks but not be vane. She can have other things in her life that make her interesting and fun to hang out with. She can also have men for friends without the whole image of" look at me. I'm so hot I have men at my beck and call." So even a lot of very cnfident men have learned to steer clear of the over vane and the Collector type.
nosybear819 Posted February 28, 2007 Posted February 28, 2007 I have guy friends, always have, but it seems like when I'm interested in a guy they find out I have guy friends and then they kinda turn their back? Why does there have to be drama? lol Or do I create it? Hey, I'm this way too - I've always had mostly male friends and the only time it poses a problem is when I'm dating a jealous, insecure guy. The last couple men I dated weren't that way. Plus, it helps to know which of your guy friends are your true friends. And you can eliminate the ones that are fun to hang out with but ultimately jus wanna get in your pants. If I'm dating someone I keep my few good male friends around - introduce them to my guy and then things are a-ok!
Pretty Fly Posted February 28, 2007 Posted February 28, 2007 Yeah, I agree. I'll add that a lot of guys would like you to show in public that you are into THEM, not their friends or even your own male friends. That means being friendly with their friends, but nothing that could be construed as flirting. (After all, you don't know them that well yet.) That means being affectionate with your date, looking at him adoringly and complimenting him in front of his friends. His friends don't get that kind of treatment because they aren't at his status -- he is yours. Is it possible that you are very friendly and affectionate with guys and it is being taken the wrong way? (Not saying that is going on, but it's worth wondering.) I might tone it down with the male friends until the new guy feels comfortable that you only have eyes for him....and make sure you make him part of your circle of male friends so they become his friends, too....even if he declines being social with them, he will appreciate being asked to be included. Anyway, just thoughts. I've been in the same situation myself. I was always acting innocently enough, but others didn't understand. It was something that I had to sensitize myself to. Yes! Very true and very insightful! Personally, following on from what Topper said, I don't think there's anything sexier than an attractive girl who has no idea just how attractive she really is!
Pretty Fly Posted February 28, 2007 Posted February 28, 2007 yah it is, at least I think I'm guilty of this myself, but it's very easy to assume that a very attractive girl already has a boyfriend.
Star Gazer Posted February 28, 2007 Posted February 28, 2007 How does that one song go? "If you wanna be happy for the rest of your life, never make a pretty woman your wife..."
LuminousZ Posted February 28, 2007 Posted February 28, 2007 So even a lot of very cnfident men have learned to steer clear of the over vane and the Collector type. Well said Topper!
Sevenmack Posted February 28, 2007 Posted February 28, 2007 Stargazer said: "If you wanna be happy for the rest of your life, never make a pretty woman your wife... The flipside is that a guy won't be happy because she's physically ugly to him. More importantly, ugly women get laid as often as pretty women do, if not more. After all, for many guys, there isn't the intimidation factor that comes with physically attractive women nor is there the flocking of men trying to get into her pants, including many of the so-called male friends. So he's better off just dating who he likes and deal with the reality that she will choose to stay with him -- or not -- based on what she feels and thinks. Which is always the case. No one can take a woman from a man (or vice versa); they stay if they want and leave as they please. By the way: Most of the male friends with a woman when a guy meets them are just girlfriends with dicks. They may want to sleep with her, but she is likely uninterested in what they offer in bed. That's why they're friends and the guy dating the girl is, well, dating the girl.
Guest Posted March 1, 2007 Posted March 1, 2007 That's not the reason for me. Most guys are probably turned away because they're losers and are intimidated by you. Or, they think that since you have all these guy friends and if you're as hot as you say you are, you already have a bf. And if not, your friends will be chasing you. It's easy for the average guy to buy into this mindset and convince himself that it's not worth it to chase you because you wouldn't want him, so he'd just be wasting his time. I prefer to look at it differently. If the girl is hot and doesn't have a bf, she's obviously looking at all the guys around her as friends. You're the mysterious one, she knows nothing about you and that's your chance to be different. Be the guy who stands out from the other jocks who think the girls dig them but they're all in essence clones of each other. As for me, many times I'll just say f it. I want a pretty girl, one who's smart and has friends but isn't the overly social type. That's just the type of girl that I like. I know it's stereotypical but in school the extremely social girls are the ones who usually go to parties, which are usually the girls who get drunk and get laid by 10 different guys. There are many pretty smart girls, but the extremely hot ones are usually the types that you don't want to go after if you're looking for more than sex. Most of the extremely hot ones who date are looking to elevate their social status by dating the jocks. Another reason is they're more likely to cheat because they have more competition. Another stereotype, but that's how I see it. Of course, I never simply dismiss a girl. That's just stupid. I'll get to know her and if her personality is a turnoff, THATS when I'll dismiss her.
Author chill chic Posted March 1, 2007 Author Posted March 1, 2007 so..what if..me & this guy were hitting it off, and his cousin was actually along with us, like we all just when out, having a good time. I was being nice to his cousin, just because they are good friends and I didn't want to leave him out. but..I had a few drinks later on, and might have gotten a lil flirty NOT much but just friendlier than I had been that night. well basically he said to me "is there anyone hot besides you, on your myspace?" and I said "me" because I wasn't really paying attention, and I know the guy (who I was hitting it off with before) heard me say that. So then his cousin asked me the same question again and I said "oh yah I have hot friends, etc" so..does the guy that I actually like, turned off that he MIGHT think I was being too friendly? I mean, the next day I told him that we should've hung out just by ourselves, but the thing is..he isn't being as funny or flirty to me anymore, which is strange. So did I mess up? I just don't get it, where you're hitting it off, flirting one minute, then the next day he's a totally different person? should I just let him go? or be patient or how can I redeem myself? or should I even worry about it? lol he's he lacking something on his part? I don't want to keep trying to flirt with him, if he's going to act like this..so..what should I do?
Guest Posted March 2, 2007 Posted March 2, 2007 Stargazer said: By the way: Most of the male friends with a woman when a guy meets them are just girlfriends with dicks. They may want to sleep with her, but she is likely uninterested in what they offer in bed. That's why they're friends and the guy dating the girl is, well, dating the girl. So what about when at least one of the guys your girlfriend keeps around is someone she had sex with a few times?? Short trips with friends where they ended up hooking up a few times. Maybe I'm too insecure, but I get uneasy when they end up hanging out when I'm not around (at work etc.) when I know at some point they had a mutual attraction enough to get naked. Related to that, it makes me uncomfortable to be around the two of them because I'm the one who is newer, and they have stories from before I was around and I just don't like thinking of them together. But she insists on getting us together with the events he puts together. Am I just insecure and overreacting??? She ended it with him, so I have that going for me, but I think he likes her still. In his emails etc to set things up he always makes reference to her but never me. He makes plans and invites her and her roommate to go, but doesn't include me, and more importantly he doesn't include his own girlfriend. I am almost certain he still likes her. She agrees he very well might, but says i should just trust her and not worry about it. Should I be cautious about his intentions? Or just pretent like I'm not uncomfortable about it because she tells me to trust her???
cutegirl Posted March 3, 2007 Posted March 3, 2007 I dunno if guys would turn away from a girl with many guy friends , but I would never date a guy with female friends. I would prefer someone who didn't have a lot of friends of the opposite sex (actually I don't have any)... I wouldn't date a guy with lots of girls in his Myspace either... I think it's just trouble.
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