Confused5433 Posted February 28, 2007 Posted February 28, 2007 I feel so much better. It has been 1month since I last saw my ex (all the posts are about him) I meet him after months of silence, and said all we had to say and finally asked him to not call, email, or txt me anymore. Please believe when I say time is the biggest healer. I can't lie and say I dont' think about him, because I do and in my heart his memory will always be as my first love. Sometimes when Im lonely, I think of him and miss him, but eventhought I want to cry (and sometimes do) I remember what happened bet/ us and realize that I did the right thing, by removing him out of my life. I take a step back sometimes and dwell on the past, but the roll has been pushed and I have no choice but to keep moving forward. Now I feel like I'm getting my life back together, I have new goals and dreams, and hopes that I will accomplish what God put me in this world to do. I feel such peace and contentment, different emotions than the rollercoaster ride I lived by his side.With him I lost myself, my life, and my heart was always in his hands, and he wasn't the type to handle it with care. He was a great lesson: I learned to value myself more and improve my self-esteem, to not give so much or accept disrespect for the sake of living a fantasy. To live life with more enthusiasm, see things with simplicity, handle problems with care and love and always have faith in God and in yourself. With him, I learned the meaning of love and the pain of a heartbreak. He taught me alot, even thought he might never know it, and Im grateful for that and excited to see what and who will come next. Im ready to start dating, meeting other guys and finding someone that is compatible to me. I never thought I would even think this way, but it has happened. Im healing, and I feel great. I saw this show in Oprah about her leadership camp for girls in South Africa, and I was so inspired. These girls have absolutely the bare minimum to go by but they still have such great joy for life and have such aspirations and dreams, it's remarkable. Then I thought, here I am with all the luxuries this society has to offer, wasting precious time on someone, who frankly by now probably doesn't care about me anymore, and maybe never did. When instead I could be doing so much more with my life, for others, and living my life with excitement. I have a big heart, and I gave so much of myself to him with no regrets, but everything is in the past now. There is so much more to do in this world, and there are so many people in need, love is not just something that you can give to one, but too others. Life has so much more to offer, and so many opportunities for us to fill fulfilled and satisfied, with a purpose, with gratitude and happiness. I guess my lesson to whoever reads this is..... Life goes on, and the wound we feel from a heartbreak will become a scar one day, a memory we will hold with us always. Those intense feelings and deep pain will subside when we open our eyes and see the joys this beautiful life has to offer. Be patient with yourself, everyone has a different healing process, but we all heal. Noone has the right to judge or tell you to get over it already, we are all different. Take it day by day. The important thing is that we all eventually recover. Just like a sick patient in ICU, after weeks when he/she can finally get up and leave the hospital, open those doors and feel the sunlight on their face, they will finally see that "they are ready" to step out into this whole new life waiting for them, . This is where I am now, just at those doors stepping out and feeling more positive and stronger than ever. To fall in love is one of the most beautifull feelings we can experience in this life, but not the only one. Our dreams, purpose, friends, family, pets, etc all can fill us with great joys. We must never take everything around us for granted, and should always remember that..... "Everything happens for a reason, God is in charge"
Heartache11 Posted February 28, 2007 Posted February 28, 2007 Your post is so inspiring and true. I hope that once I get past this heartache, I will have such a positive outlook of what lies ahead. I'm already starting to see myself getting past the fact that he is no longer my life. I have my own life and need to work to make my life enjoyable first before finding love again. He hurt me an unbelievable amount, emotionally abused me, and then wound up leaving me. But I know that he will continue to repeat his hurtful actions, while I have been given a great opportunity to go out and learn from this experience. Of course I have my ups and downs, but you perhaps just made me hit a new level of up! And to think, I'm just 20. Keep your positive attitude and thank you
shockandawed Posted February 28, 2007 Posted February 28, 2007 Great post Confused!! I think you should change your name, that is the last thing you are. Congrats and thanks for the inspiration.
Author Confused5433 Posted March 6, 2007 Author Posted March 6, 2007 I'm glad this was of help to both of you....you're right I should change my name to....I'll think about that one. Good luck to both of you, and let me know what happens.
Guest Posted March 8, 2007 Posted March 8, 2007 Very touching and so very true. Always remembering God is always the one I need to impress. He always loves me and is always always there for me.....for us. Prayer changes things!!
scubafish Posted March 9, 2007 Posted March 9, 2007 confused, that is beautifully put. I believe that someday, I can be in the same frame you are, but right now, most (about 95%) of the time, I am still obsessing about what has been lost. at least there was no abuse in my relationship, but after 20 years with the same person, I can't even imagine connecting with another guy like I have had. let alone even beginning to trust a stranger into my life. life alone seems so dreary, even with the small joys you mention....... your post did inspire me though, thank you-------
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