Guest Posted February 27, 2007 Posted February 27, 2007 I broke up with my GF 5 months ago (2 year relationship). After a period of NC we started to spend a little time together just as friends. We've both been strong and have not had any relapses into the relationship. I know I do not want to get back together with her and she says the same. But whenever I think of her getting excited about someone else, being attracted to someone else, or even just casually dating someone new my entire chest hurts. I want her to be happy and for us to remain very good friends (we always joke about being like Jerry and Elaine). Does anyone have any advice about how to be OK with her having feelings for someone new and moving on? Thanks
justagirlforever Posted February 27, 2007 Posted February 27, 2007 For you to be OK with it, you need to accept that it's over. That acceptance comes in different forms and in my mind, composed of a series of mental steps to take. Let go and move on. Only then can you truly be friends and accept that she's moved on with someone else. Good luck. It's easier said than done. And I think much harder to do than just walk away and close the door, never looking back.
Belovely Posted February 28, 2007 Posted February 28, 2007 It's not an easy thing to do! I am in a similar situation, only that I have no contact with him. We broke up, but like you, began talking again and realized we couldn't be just friends. I came to find out that around the same time we began talking again, he was seeing one of my good friends (needless to say, she is no longer a friend). They are now married. This all occured in the span of 3months. So I got hit from both sides...a slap from him, the guy I thought loved me so much and would do anything to get me back...and a slap from her, the friend I confided in, the one I took vacations with, went out drinking with, etc. It wasn't easy initially and I still think about them every so often. But with time also comes the realization that things happen for a reason. I know now that I probably wouldn't have taken him back after we began talking again and honestly, I deserve better. I guess it was a blessing and a curse. I went through all the feelings of betrayal, anger, resentment, bitterness, and wishing horrible things upon them. I mean, they only knew each other for 3 months and they got married? Like who does that? Will it last...I have no idea but honestly do I care? It's hard and it's going to hurt initially, but eventually things will get better. I never thought it would get better and it has. I am finally at a point in my life where I am happy. And I'm sure you'll get to that point as well...it just may take a bit longer because you are in constant contact with her. Just keep reminding yourself that you don't want to get back with her and that things are better off the way they are now.
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