missinchris Posted February 27, 2007 Posted February 27, 2007 hi, I've never really posed my feelings up on a site for everyone to read before. But I'm really in need of someone to listen and some advice. I'm new to long distance relationships. I've never had one before. Me and my boyfriend were together for 10 months before I had to move and hour away for college a few days ago. Now, I know and hour away dosen't seem so bad, especially since I get to see him almost every weekend. But before the move, we were together everyday, he's my best friend and I love him more than life itself and I want to be with him forever. I know he loves me alot too. But these last few days have been so hard, knowing that for the next 2 years I can't see him as often. I'm overwhelmed by feelings of lonliness and pain and my heart aches for him and for the closeness. I still call to talk to him and we chat online. But I've become dpressed. All I want to do is cry. I can't eat and I can't sleep much, I drift in and out of sleep only to wake up and cry. I need some help coping, and advice on how to deal. Thank you for reaing. K
Sweetie2007 Posted February 27, 2007 Posted February 27, 2007 hi, I've never really posed my feelings up on a site for everyone to read before. But I'm really in need of someone to listen and some advice. I'm new to long distance relationships. I've never had one before. Me and my boyfriend were together for 10 months before I had to move and hour away for college a few days ago. Now, I know and hour away dosen't seem so bad, especially since I get to see him almost every weekend. But before the move, we were together everyday, he's my best friend and I love him more than life itself and I want to be with him forever. I know he loves me alot too. But these last few days have been so hard, knowing that for the next 2 years I can't see him as often. I'm overwhelmed by feelings of lonliness and pain and my heart aches for him and for the closeness. I still call to talk to him and we chat online. But I've become dpressed. All I want to do is cry. I can't eat and I can't sleep much, I drift in and out of sleep only to wake up and cry. I need some help coping, and advice on how to deal. Thank you for reaing. K Hey K My boyfriend and I met for one month, for the first time, in 2005. It was amazing, and I really adjusted to life with him living with me, even though it was fast. When he left, I was devistated! I thought I would die, I cried every day for months, sat around moping, whatever. Eventually, I realized what I was doing was redicolus, I had to move on with my life. I called a couple of my friends, and went out that night, laughed, ate pizza, and really felt good. I got home, to goodnight messages from my man, and that we'd talk when he got up for work (he always woke me up, for the 15 min he had to spare, it was so sweet)... I cried, because I wanted to crawl into bed and sleep beside him, I wanted to wake up physically with him. You get the point of what I mean, even when I was out, the happiness didn't last. Is that something like how you feel now? I get it! Now... I'll tell you how I got over it. First, I was in college, and realized my 70's and 80's weren't good enough, I had to do well, because I'm in a community college, and need to transfer out, good grades are extremely important. I focused on school, set up a schedule of when I'd talk to my BF and when I'd be online. His schedule wasn't as set, but he woke me up every night, and we talked when I was home before he went to bed. We didn't call, because it's international, we used MSN and Skype online for voice and cams. I burried myself in my studies, got 2 jobs, and stayed busier than I'd ever been. On the weekends, if my BF and I were home at the same time, we talked, but because of the time difference we didn't TOO much, but we made time for each other every Sunday. Friday and Saturday night I spent out with my friends mostly. I got into a routine of going to my friends houses a lot, and just keeping my mind busy. I sent my BF e-cards, real cards, boxes, whatever I could think of, to show him how much I love him. He showed it too, although sending stuff wasn't as possible through mail, but he was sweet, still is sweet. Basically, I'm saying that you need to find a schedule that works, so you talk to your BF as much as you can/is reasonable, and you need to find other stuff which keeps YOU happy as well. I made a blanket after my BF left, that kept me really busy for almost a month. I read Harry Potter, Jason Bourne, and any other book I could get my hands on. You can get through it, take some time for YOU. Long hot baths for time to think are WONDERFUL! Stay strong, and good luck!
Author missinchris Posted February 28, 2007 Author Posted February 28, 2007 Thank you so much, that's exactly how I feel and what you said helped. Today after I posted I took a long bath and then went for a walk to clear my head and think. I realized some stuff while I was out. I realized that I should keep busy so I'm not just sitting around missing him. I also realised something important. That our time apart can be a learning process for us both, we'll realise how much we love, want, need, and appreciate eachother and in the end when we can finally be together, we'll be so much stronger because of it. I also realise that things are going to happen and sometimes my missing him will bring me to tears. But I think at least we're lucky enough to have someone so amazing to miss. I hope this can help some other people as much as you helped me. Just hearing about people who can relate makes me feel a little better. K
Sweetie2007 Posted February 28, 2007 Posted February 28, 2007 Thank you so much, that's exactly how I feel and what you said helped. Today after I posted I took a long bath and then went for a walk to clear my head and think. I realized some stuff while I was out. I realized that I should keep busy so I'm not just sitting around missing him. I also realised something important. That our time apart can be a learning process for us both, we'll realise how much we love, want, need, and appreciate eachother and in the end when we can finally be together, we'll be so much stronger because of it. I also realise that things are going to happen and sometimes my missing him will bring me to tears. But I think at least we're lucky enough to have someone so amazing to miss. I hope this can help some other people as much as you helped me. Just hearing about people who can relate makes me feel a little better. K Glad I could help! I hope it all works out and that you and your BF are happy. How is he dealing with the distance by the way? Does it bother him like it does you? Just curious (for a comparison...)
Author missinchris Posted February 28, 2007 Author Posted February 28, 2007 Hey he misses me a ton too, he's lonely and bored but he's not in as rough shape, he's much stronger that way and spends alot of time trying to make me happier. He still has his friends from home to talk to and he's had them over a couple of times to keep busy. I'm sure that everything will work out for the best. Thanks again, K
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