climbergirl Posted February 27, 2007 Posted February 27, 2007 you know what I especially hate about these on/off again relationships? You never know when to move on! Someone asked me out for this Sat. If I do go with him, I feel like it's a betrayal because my bf and I have always been back together. If I don't, I'm somehow giving him the upper hand and not moving on. This is stupid. My feelings aren't a game to be played. I'm not the one breaking up. This is him. I haven't cheated or lied or anything that would normally warrant a break up. He gets pissed off and throws down the gauntlet. When it's good, it's great. When it's bad, it's over according to him. I don't know what to do. Sorry. I'm upset and needed input.
johan Posted February 27, 2007 Posted February 27, 2007 I have no advice to give. Just sorry. Sooner or later you'll know when the relationship is either on or off for good. But I do think it's lame to break up with someone you want to be with just to prove a point.
Author climbergirl Posted February 27, 2007 Author Posted February 27, 2007 I have no advice to give. Just sorry. Sooner or later you'll know when the relationship is either on or off for good. But I do think it's lame to break up with someone you want to be with just to prove a point. Thanks, Johan. The 'sorry' was good for me. More than I've gotten lately.
Porn_Guy Posted February 27, 2007 Posted February 27, 2007 you know what I especially hate about these on/off again relationships? You never know when to move on!. once a relationship is established in a certain pattern it is almost impossible to change its dynamics. you either move on or accept the on/off aspect forever. can you do that? oh yea....and by definition, the on/off relationship basically means that person is not for you in the long-term.
michelangelo Posted February 27, 2007 Posted February 27, 2007 I think that you should just go on a date without expectation. Not from the date guy, not from the on/off guy. I also think the on/off guy gets mercurial like he does so he can have an excuse for looking for more that is out there. I probably cares for you on some level, but he wants variety. The anger thing is his way of getting off the hook for it. Go have fun.
Author climbergirl Posted February 27, 2007 Author Posted February 27, 2007 once a relationship is established in a certain pattern it is almost impossible to change its dynamics. you either move on or accept the on/off aspect forever. can you do that? No, I can't--I hate being in limbo. And I hate that I've allowed this pattern to be set. He breaks up with me and I'm worried about going on a date. That's silly. I'm showing way more consideration for him than he has for me.
Author climbergirl Posted February 27, 2007 Author Posted February 27, 2007 I think that you should just go on a date without expectation. Not from the date guy, not from the on/off guy. I also think the on/off guy gets mercurial like he does so he can have an excuse for looking for more that is out there. I probably cares for you on some level, but he wants variety. The anger thing is his way of getting off the hook for it. Go have fun. Well doesn't that put things in perspective! I never considered that there could be a motive like that behind the anger. Puts a whole new spin on things. Normally I wouldn't get my panties in a bunch about dating after one of these 'break ups', but this date guy is someone I dated years ago. It was a FWB type..........
michelangelo Posted February 27, 2007 Posted February 27, 2007 I see, then this is not just a date, it represents more than going for ice cream at the local dairy queen. It's stake in the ground, a permanent shift. and possibly a return to a FWB situation. Are you just drifting or along for the ride?
Author climbergirl Posted February 27, 2007 Author Posted February 27, 2007 I see, then this is not just a date, it represents more than going for ice cream at the local dairy queen. It's stake in the ground, a permanent shift. Permanent shift..........exactly what I was thinking. Are you just drifting or along for the ride? It's a weird one. We have a casual yet exclusive relationship. We have no long term expectations, but don't sleep with others while we are dating. And he's hilarious, a lot of fun to hang out with.
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