Lostandfound Posted February 26, 2007 Posted February 26, 2007 For those of you that remember my ex split up with me in September, and like the thread below about "soulmates" when we were together we both thought that this was the best it could be, despite speaking different languages as our native tongue we genuinely clicked on all levels. And also being a semi LDR. We had both had relationshiops in the past, and for both of us this was the most fulfiling and rewarding, but and its a big but. She had a fear of failing badly like her previous relationships had , as it affected her and ger children very very badly. Since September we have had numerous conversations, gone through bouts of NC, mutually agreeing to meet up and meeting up, and despite the fact that she ended things, she was still making sure she was a part of my life. 3 weeks ago I received an email from her, the first in months and months as she never had internet at home, until now, and only checked at work, saying she was of sick and thought she would get in touch, now with the wonders of technology, we were able to hold the most open conversation,albeit by typing that we had had since the split, yes we had spoke on the phone and text but you cant always get across all that in a 10 minute long distance call or text. She said she still has love for me, and still feels in love with me, but despite this she says she hurt me so much by ending things the way she did that she can never get back the way things were. Now this is a cop out, if you are in love with someone and still love them you do anything to make it work. She added that she was very unhappy having no one in her life, and wants to find that special someone in her life. It was here that I had a decision to make , do I ask her if that special someone is me, or say I have to go, and get on with things. She made the decison for me before I had time to react, she said that I should put all thoughts out of my mind of us getting back together, as she sees us only as friends, and that while we were together I proved to her that I am far to good a man for her. As both her previous partners cheated on her, abused her, dumped her, and basically treated her like a piece of meat, and because I didnt I have lost the one woman I have truly truly loved, she said all of this, and then disconnected from her on line chat, and then I have not heard a thing since, she has obviously no intention of getting in touch again, and when Im on line she never is, and therefore has erased me from her memory. Well her address book anyway For me, this is closure, and I feel great. As although I had been hoping that we would get back, deep down if that did not happen I needed closure to move on, The end of one chapter, as another one opens, although I feel that the new chapter will not be as fulfilling for me as the last, well lets hope im wrong
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