Kelso Posted February 26, 2007 Posted February 26, 2007 Hello everyone - I'm quite new to this dating forum. Just found out that it was time to do so as the Coping forum wasn't helping anymore. This simply shows how much you can love LoveShack Well the thing is that few weeks ago I met this girl and we've been on few dates. Nothing really serious though as I wanted to take things slowly. Just went out for a dinner few times and movies at our places and stuff like that. Occasionally we spent the nights at each others, but nothing sexual happened. About 2 weeks ago I sensed that she wasn't all that interested. And eventually she told me that she didn't think it would work. That leads us to a trip that we decided to go on about a month a go. I was going with my best friend and she was gonna take her best friend with her. We all know each other very well. I decided of course to go on the trip with them just as a friend and didn't hit on her once. Still I was receiving some kinds of mixed signals from her, and mostly her friends. Things like her best friend moving so that I could sit next to her, without even asking her to. Of course that doesn't tell a whole story, but it does tell you something ... I hope And what I've been thinking most about. I was talking to her friend during the trip (another friend now, a one we were visiting). Alcohol was included, and we all know that it doesn't lie. She told me that this girl almost never talks about boys, but during the trip she hasn't spoken about anything else than me the whole trip (while I wasn't present of course). Of course that makes a guy think if he still has a chance. Of course I know that she did tell me that she didn't think it would it work out. But her best friend telling me things like that must mean something. I have decided to take things slowly for now at least and see if it was just me going to fast for her. I have realized that this is the first girl I've dated since my breakup that I actually have any feelings for and it feels nice. Do you have any advice for me how I should behave and approach? If I may add, she just logged on to MSN and immediately started talking to me. I must get to her ... I must
Joey Savoie Posted February 26, 2007 Posted February 26, 2007 Well this sounds like a "typical girl" thing. First thing from reading this Is that you both seem to be younger. One of the things I see in younger girls is the inability to make up there minds. It is hard for a girl to "make it work" with you when she doesn't know what she wants. This has been the downfall to a couple of my relationships. lol Putting myself in the situation, I would talk to her about the whole thing. Find out how she feels. If there is something there she will tell you. If not shes not worth your time. But with you just getting back on the horse so to speak the thought of the outright rejection that could happen can cut deep. Be careful, dont ask questions that you can not handle the answer to.
Author Kelso Posted February 28, 2007 Author Posted February 28, 2007 Thank you Joey... I guess you're right my man. The only solution to this is doing some talking. Obviously she must have some interest if she talks alot about me to her best friends but of course I always know that she said that it wouldn't work out. I guess that I'm gonna give it a little time (1-2 weeks and she how she acts towards me) and then just confront her. That's definetly easier than waiting and see, especially if nothing happens. She's three years younger than I am, me being 24 years. Any other opinions here?
nicki Posted February 28, 2007 Posted February 28, 2007 Hey, Kelso....I think she meant what she said at the time, went away with you and wanted an ego boost to see if you still "wanted her." A lot of women do that kind of thing, even if they don't want to be with a guy. On the other hand, could she be having second thoughts about breaking up with you? Maybe, but how are you to know unless she tells you that. If I were you, I would go with the last piece of info she gave you -- which was that she didn't think you two were going to work out. Don't try to analyze her behavior. Don't act hopeful. Do move on with your life. Go out on dates with other women. Treat this one as a friend. Don't hit on her, even if she throws herself at you. Make her take back her words and set things straight if she wants to be with you. Otherwise, you are rewarding her wishy-washy behavior. You want a woman who says what she means and acts accordingly. If she changes her mind, then she talks to you about it, and should act accordingly. Then you will know where you stand...and you can decide what you want, and it might not be a woman who says one thing and does another. Who needs those kind of games? Behavior should match words. I'd call her out on what she said.
Pretty Fly Posted February 28, 2007 Posted February 28, 2007 Make her take back her words and set things straight if she wants to be with you. Otherwise, you are rewarding her wishy-washy behavior. You want a woman who says what she means and acts accordingly. If she changes her mind, then she talks to you about it, and should act accordingly. Then you will know where you stand...and you can decide what you want, and it might not be a woman who says one thing and does another. Who needs those kind of games? Behavior should match words. I'd call her out on what she said. Wow nicki, I wish all women thought like you! You should teach a class or write a book or something!!
Author Kelso Posted February 28, 2007 Author Posted February 28, 2007 Thank you Nicki - I really appreciate what you had to say. I know that it's best to listen to what she last had to say. That's why I posted. Still I'm not gonna give it up but I don't wanna be annoying. It's not like we had a relationship, we've just been on few dates and I've really started to like her. First girl I've liked since my breakup. The fact is that I've talked to her every day since we "broke up" and it is usually her who initiates the convos. I'm just gonna see where it leads me. Play a little hard to get. I don't have my expectations really high so if something happens it's just gonna be a bonus thanks for all your replies...
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