Not sure ...

[CTAngel]

This is my first time posting. I'm at a loss of what to do with the relationship that I am in and decided some non-bias advice might help. This is quite a long story so I hope at least one person will be willing to help.

 

I've been dating the same guy for almost 4 years. I moved in with him this past fall to be closer to him and my job. Unfortunately, things have not worked out between us and I had to move out this past month. Basically, I've been starting to get incredibly jealous about the time he spends posting on another internet thread having to do with a radio show he listens to. It's gotten to the point where he goes to events with all of his "new friends" and talks to them all of the time through texting and paltalk and aim and this thread. We even went on a romantic vacation a couple of months ago and he planned a visit with two of his friends that he met online while we were in Florida. I just wasn't feeling appreciated by him and that he wasn't paying any attention to me. I wasn't happy in the relationship and when opportunity arose with an old friend, I ended up cheating on my boyfriend. A week after that, my boyfriend decided he was going to go out and spend the weekend with his "friends" and I asked him not to go because I wanted to work on our relationship. I was incredibly upset that he wouldn't want to even try working on the relationship and wanted to spend time with other people. He claimed I was controlling him by asking him to stay home. I then said if he didn't stay, I was moving out and it was over. He didn't stay, so I moved out. At this point both of my parents found out and both told me they didn't like how he treated me.

 

I continued to get together with the old friend after I had moved out, but as the weeks went on, I realized I wasn't happy with this friend either and that I really missed my boyfriend. We were even supposed to be going on a trip to Texas during this time, however that just didn't seem right. I went back to his place one day to get the rest of my things to move out completely and had a long talk with him. At this point I told him that I cheated on him and about how I felt. We came to the conclusion that we were going to continue to date because we both missed each other a lot but I wouldn't move back in. Now here comes a bigger problem.

 

I live at home again, however, my mom is selling the house within the next couple of months. I don't make enough money to afford an apartment on my own and I don't have any friends that are willing to get a place with me. I can't move in with my mom again because she'll be living an hour away from my job and the same with my father. I also don't feel comfortable moving in with people I don't know. I really miss my boyfriend but I don't think he's comfortable with me moving back in. We've been working on the relationship lately and I've been trying to be a lot more understanding with his posting online and his friends but its really hard for me. I get really jealous because a lot of the people he talks to are girls and it bothers me. I've tried talking to him about it but it doesn't seem like he cares. He says that I have nothing to worry about with these people and I know I can trust him but I don't know how to get over the jealousy anymore. I also need to know what I should do about moving back in or not. I'm sorry this is such a long story and hope at least one person is willing to help. Thanks in advance!

[Walk]

Really what I understood from your post is that your bf spends a lot of time talking to other people and spending time with other people and this made you unhappy (for good reasons). When you did try to talk to him about it, he insisted he wasn't doing anything wrong and you were attempting to control him. You then cheated on him.

 

After this, he again insisted that he'd rather be with other people then with you so you left.

 

Now you two are dating again, but he gets to do whatever he wants whenever he wants to, and you have to accept it in order to be with him.

 

So really... there was no comprimise. No discussion, no change. And some how you think the relationship will work out? That you'll be happy even though nothing has changed? It affected you severely enough that you cheated on him, yet you're willing to toss your needs out the window just to be with this guy. Why? WHat does this guy have that a million other men don't have? Is he really well hung or something? Does he buy you large and expensive gifts every day? Does he find a million little ways to be romantic and show you he appreciates you and wants you in his life?

 

You can't fix your relationship. Unless HE decides he's willing to work to make things better, then nothing is going to change. You can't make him change, and he doesn't seem to want to.