frannie Posted March 1, 2007 Posted March 1, 2007 Pigblue, I agree with those who have said... work on your marriage first. Even if that 'work' is towards ending it amicably and so you both walk away feeling that you did your best to save it. I would say, please don't get this OW involved either in your reasons for divorcing (if that's the path you take), or in an EM relationship, because it's just not fair on her, or you, or your wife for that matter. Also, I wanted to say that you might get something out of reading some of the threads in Separation and Divorce: there are a few men there (empty springs to mind, but there are three or four or more) who have gone through similar things to you (including OW more and less involved in the mix) and they have received a lot of really good advice from the regulars over on that forum. Best of luck.
Jinxx Posted March 1, 2007 Posted March 1, 2007 Uh, but divorce your wife first, if you're going to do that, Pigblue. Yes, of course.... that too.
Guest Posted March 1, 2007 Posted March 1, 2007 Let your wife know you are thinking about pursuing something with another woman due to body language, awkwards conversations and those looks. I'm sure there is a guy out there who would love to show your wife some body language.
Author Pigblue Posted March 1, 2007 Author Posted March 1, 2007 Love ia a drug - I'm sure of that. Once hooked you keep wanting more - the evidence is all around LS. Priorities get mixed up you want what makes you feel good and leave everything else. Guest - yeah, might well be some guy out there who's moves do more for my wife than mine. Something might be going on that I've been blind to. I doubt it though.
frannie Posted March 2, 2007 Posted March 2, 2007 Love ia a drug - I'm sure of that. Once hooked you keep wanting more - the evidence is all around LS. Priorities get mixed up you want what makes you feel good and leave everything else. I hope this doesn't come off harshly, but that sounds incredibly immature. I hope you meant that you may feel that but that's not a basis for action..?
sb129 Posted March 2, 2007 Posted March 2, 2007 Pigblue, I agree with those who have said... work on your marriage first. Even if that 'work' is towards ending it amicably and so you both walk away feeling that you did your best to save it. I would say, please don't get this OW involved either in your reasons for divorcing (if that's the path you take), or in an EM relationship, because it's just not fair on her, or you, or your wife for that matter.. Best of luck. PB I think this is one of the best pieces of advice you have recieved. Also, when I first came to LS, someone asked me if I had grabbed onto the next branch without fully letting go of the first one... since you have kids with your wife, you DO have to continue to have a relationship with her, and she will talk to your kids about any reasons why your marriage may end, so an amicable split is the best option. So if you ARE going to follow your heart, end it with your wife well and truly before pursuing anything with LI. And be prepared for the possibility that things with LI may not work out either- thats the gamble you take.
Author Pigblue Posted March 2, 2007 Author Posted March 2, 2007 I hope this doesn't come off harshly, but that sounds incredibly immature. I hope you meant that you may feel that but that's not a basis for action..? Didn't mean to alarm you frannie! No, not my basis for action, just a theme that comes across in many posts on this site. Was having a bad day yesterday - all alone and too much thinking.... Sometimes it pays not to think too far into the future. That is what i have been doing - thinking about a time after my marriage is over. Have to focus in the now. I feel now that I owe 'fantasy girl' an apology. It was selfish to send that letter.
Recommended Posts