aaaaaiiiiieeeee Posted February 26, 2007 Posted February 26, 2007 to become addicted to these forums by constantly looking for answers and similar stories and have that addiction prevent you from moving on? I'm just thinking that I miss my wife and I get this knot in my stomach and when I start searching through this and other forums I actually feel better, but only as long as I'm browsing. I post and feel better, I read the other posts and feel better, and I log off and feel like crap. I know it's been only two months but I can't seem to get past missing her and only these forums feel good. Also I wanted to ask is it a good idea to contact your spouses family and let them know of the affair? It seems kind of underhanded, but I read on some sites where it is reccommended. Has anyone done this?
boshemia Posted February 26, 2007 Posted February 26, 2007 I suppose anything is possible. I know for awhile I was "addicted" to the stop rape forums on another website, I found a kinship with other people who knew how I felt and I was spending most of my free time posting and answering posts. However after awhile I noticed that I had come to a point where instead of healing I was actually being held back from further progress. I took some time away from the forums and when I went back I was able to resume activity there without feeling like I was holding on too tight, or losing progress. It could be a lot of things, but maybe it's just a lifeline for you right now...
D-Lish Posted February 27, 2007 Posted February 27, 2007 I was addicted to posting and browsing this forum after my break up. It was the only thing that held me together for a while afterward. I felt comforted knowing I wasn't alone in my pain. I did get to a point where I backed off for a while. I realized I needed to resume activity in the real world. Now, I come here much less than I used to- but still enjoy posting and reading. I'm just not consumed by it like I was. This forum is a vehicle in the healing process. It's okay to use it as such for the time being. In a situation where you are feeling pain- any outlet that makes you feel better can be helpful. Who had the affair? You or her? regardless, talking to her family about it could be seen as hostile on your part. Her family is HER family.... she is the one that is entitled to talk to them about her life... not you. If I had an affair and my partner called my family and told them- I'd be offended and angry... and so would my family.
Author aaaaaiiiiieeeee Posted February 27, 2007 Author Posted February 27, 2007 She is having the affair. I'm quite close to her family as she is with mine. I've talked to everyone about saving my marriage except them and they're quite old fashioned in their views of marriage. I'm giving her as much space as possible, but I want to talk to her family to try and get her to end the affair. I feel as though I haven't tried everything I possibly can to save my marriage. I love her with all my heart and if so I have to risk everything in order to fight for her.
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