hotstones Posted February 25, 2007 Posted February 25, 2007 I'll try to keep this brief but understandable. Met a man, online, last May (06). We hit it off great....started dating only each other fast. He told me I was everyhting he was looking for, on all 3 levels...emotional, physical and intellectual. Then after about a week or so of seeing each other and talking to each other daily....he told me he loved me but had to break up with me because the physical wasn't there the way he thought it should be. I am carrying a few extra pounds but certainly am not obese. But he would like to remain friends. I said I didn't think I could do that...had to think about it. I also have to say that he had been in a 4yr relationship (living together) and had only broken up about 5 months before I met him. He was greatly hurt by this. Then, I couldn't stand not seeing him and decided to try to be friends, and casually asked him what he thought about FWB. He said he had no problem with it as long as both parties understood what it was and were ok with that. He then asked if I was interested in that with him. I said yes. This would now have been June '06 when we started FWB. Fast forward to it now being Feb. '07. Ever since then, we see each other 7 days a week, we talk to each other every day by phone and in person. We do things like dinners, movies, skiing, shopping, helping each other with home improvement projects with and without his kids. And of course we have fantastic sex 5-7 days a week. Also we hold hands all the time, including in front of his children....but I do not ALWAYS stay over when he has them. We spent Christmas and New years together....Xmas with his kids and my daughter...and New Years Eve..just the two of us...where he made one of my fantasies come true like you wouldn't believe. Sooooo....my question is: Are we in more then a FWB relationship?....and should I bring up the subject or let sleeping dogs lie and enjoy it as long as it lasts? I do know...with as much certainty...as I can...that he is not looking for or seeing anyone else...either am I. So the question is...what kind of relationship am I in?
bluetuesday Posted February 25, 2007 Posted February 25, 2007 hmmm. hard to say. it doesn't sound like your usual FWB, but from his point of view, that might still be all it is. he told you he wasn't physically attracted to you - then agreed to enter an arrangement based on sex... which relies to some large extent on the physical attractiveness of the other person. perhaps he backed off initially at the thought of you two becoming exclusive and could handle seeing you only if there were no strings. now he's able to have what he wants (which seems to be more than just sex) but he doesn't have the pressure of putting a label on it. he's also including both of your kids to some extent by letting them get to know the other person. that would hint at more than a FWB to me. but if you find yourself planning or dreaming of any sort of future with this man, it's probably time to ask him where he sees the two of you heading before you let yourself get really hurt. if however you are content to keep it casual, if you accept happily that he probably has one eye out for another mate and if you have no pressing need to know where you stand because you're enjoying right now, then leave it. the thought of him finding someone else and replacing you, will tell you everything you need to know.
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