OD3 Posted February 25, 2007 Posted February 25, 2007 Hi there, Let me give you some background first so that you can assess this in a bit more detail. Im 25, and about 4 months ago was destroyed by a woman cheating on me. Since then, I have recently met this girl, who is absolutely amazing. beautiful, smart, intelligent. Perfect. On monday i went out with her, had a lovely evening and it ended with the most amazing kiss (that lasted a good 10 minutes). She invited me out last night to go watch the game with her and her friends. Again the evening ended with an even better kiss and we held each other and it was just wonderful. I also go a text from her this morning telling me that I am a really good kisser.. I am also taking her to the theatre next friday (and some dinner). Now..heres my problem. My God, I really want her to be my GF. But I dont know when is a good time to ask. Should I just wait for a while and ride it out? What if I dont ask her and she'll be wondering why im not? I am crazy about this girl, and i think its fair to say she at the very least "likes" me too. If it keeps on like this, im sure it will end up with us being together as a couple...but I am very cynical and if something can go wrong in my life, it usually does. Its been going very well, I just cant help but feeling its going to blow up in my face sooner or later! Because thats what happened in my last relationship. Im scared and excited at the same time. Should I just play it cool until It happens naturally? Im good at keeping my mouth shut, but what if she's expecting me to say something. AArrhhhgg. Woman....
suchislife Posted February 25, 2007 Posted February 25, 2007 You sound so nice. You can let her know you like her, but I would take it slowly and see where it goes. I understand you are afraid, but we're not all bad... Keep in contact with her but still do some things for yourself. Good luck!
sb129 Posted February 25, 2007 Posted February 25, 2007 Chill man! Sounds like she is pretty keen..... so go with the flow for a couple of weeks. She may even bring it up first! She is probably thinking very similar things to you right now- girls do! Its hard to go into a new R when you have been so badly hurt by the last one. But this girl hasn't hurt you. And if you have the attitude that its only a matter of time before she does, then its doomed! innocent until proven guilty right!!
Author OD3 Posted February 25, 2007 Author Posted February 25, 2007 Thanks guys Well, I am almost convinced she likes me (I believe sometimes you can tell in the way someone kisses you) There a definite spark there. Im not going into it thinking that "oh no, shes gonna break my heart", coz thats just stupid. But I cant say its not in the back of my mind. The last time my heart was broken I nearly died. Really dont want to go through that again. But as you said. Innocent until proven guilty. Not the safest method, but definitely the fairest. Wish me luck !!! I will be over the moon if she wants to go out with me. But gonna take ur advice and play it cool for a few weeks and see what happens Evan
sb129 Posted February 25, 2007 Posted February 25, 2007 Getting into a relationship IS taking a risk...you risk getting hurt again. But you could also be happy... But the safest method of not getting hurt is by never getting into another relationship...boring!!!! Good luck OD3- but don't play games mate, just be natural.
oppath Posted February 25, 2007 Posted February 25, 2007 Don't bring up the Bf-GF conversation at all. As the time you spend with her and talk to her becomes more frequent, your mutual actions will tell you both how you feel about each other. Go out 10 times before becoming official. You are still getting to know each other. If it comes up as in "are you dating anyone else?" say no, and I really like the way things are going with you.
Guest Posted February 25, 2007 Posted February 25, 2007 First off, good job. That's a really good find. Beautiful and smart. They know what they want and they're the ones who are going to be healthy later in life making nice $$. And their personality is also the best! I agree with not even bringing it up. You guys are just going unofficial right now anyways. Hell you had a couple good kisses and she's into you. Judging by her type, she's not the one to simply run off to another guy if she thinks he's hotter than you because she already values you on a much higher level than physical beauty. If I were you I would just up the romantic stuff even more and continue until she either a: tells you to back off(which most likely wont happen because she WANTS you to proceed) b: asks you about being your gf(winner!) or c: doesnt even bring it up which means she's comfortable with you getting to 'know' her even more. Like, write her a nice poem or something. And dont write her some bull you found online, write it yourself. I find it best this way because(not saying anything but..) in case you find a better girl you want to get to know better she can't say anything because you guys aren't official. Just keep your options open.
eddiehazel Posted February 26, 2007 Posted February 26, 2007 A word of advice: don't be so available to her. Funny thing how people can become complacent and bored when something isn't new to them any longer. You both are basking in the glow of something that's new and enjoyable right now, but I would recommend keeping yourself involved with other activities with friends outside of your relationship with her. Next time she suggests doing something, don't be so open about saying "YES!!!" (not saying that you actually react that way) Re dealing with the pain of being cheated on and learning to trust again...that's one way of knowing how "into" you someone else is. If she remains interested when you aren't always available to be with her, chances are better than they would be if she grows bored or worse when you have something else to do. Plus it helps you to keep things in balance too. When you really like someone, a man can't think straight...we get swept up and our noses get wide open. Try to maintain your focus as best you can while enjoying the ride.
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