Yernasia Quorelios Posted February 25, 2007 Posted February 25, 2007 I'm always intrigued when the dumpee states during a breakup how much they "need" the dumper. I think that what the dumpee really means is that they "want" the dumper and that once the emotional pain has reduced to a dull ache the "want" becomes a "need". I know it sounds weird, but IMHO, what this means is that once the dumpee gets over "wanting" the dumper the "need" emerges but is not as urgent as the "want". Hence the reason why dumpees go searching for traits similar to their dumper in new partners - and may explain why the dumper comes back after NC (the "don't want" has transformed into "want" or "need"). What do other members think?
kimba Posted February 25, 2007 Posted February 25, 2007 i think you've got it round the wrong way . I think that "need" is more urgent than "want" either way, no one wants anyone till they're gone, and then they realise how much they really needed them. HA!!! however you label it, being a dumpee is pretty fcked.
Author Yernasia Quorelios Posted February 26, 2007 Author Posted February 26, 2007 i think you've got it round the wrong way . I think that "need" is more urgent than "want" either way, no one wants anyone till they're gone, and then they realise how much they really needed them. HA!!! however you label it, being a dumpee is pretty fcked.Couldn't agree with you more kimba. What got me thinking about this is a song that has the lyrics "you can't always get what you want but if you try sometimes you get what you need". In my case I wanted or urgently desired my wife (the dumper:mad:) back. Instead what I got was a whole heap of stuff that I needed to help me through that horrible emotional stage. Now I don't have that urgent desire or "want" anymore but I do have a need which can partially be satisfied by finding someone similar to my wife.
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