hucklebuck Posted February 25, 2007 Posted February 25, 2007 this drives me nuts. we'll lay in bed all morning and then say we're going to go out for breakfast. i go have a shower, get dressed, and am ready to go. boyfriend just sits there and reads the paper, and then checks out his websites. saying that i "treat him like crap" and he "doesnt want to go out" i take out the garbage and come back and he still is in the same place, so i tell him how i feel. he says im trying to guilt him into going out. i ask him how exactly i treat him like crap when i have been cleaning up after him for the past few days we've been staying together and i rubbed him all morning in bed. he says that "doesnt make up for the past times you've treated me like crap" WTF??? i dont understand how someone can be mad after having a nice morning in bed. i dont even know what hes referring to, the fact that when he has to get up at 6am to go to work, and im grumpy and want to sleep?? or that i dont do what he wants all the time. or that i complain when he says we're going to do something and then he has a million other things to do before that and makes me wait for him. it happens very often as well, at his house i'll be starving in the morning and he'll make me wait until 4pm or later to eat. says he has to read the paper, go to the bathroom (he takes forever in the bathroom), check out his message boards, whatever. while im stuck there not having anything to do but wait for him. it isnt fair and he doesnt see why i get angry with him. why should i have to wait for him to do misc crap when i have nothing to do?? also hes mean to my cat even though i tell him to stop it, that he's hurting her, he doesnt listen says im overreacting. he doesnt listen to anything i say. he just does what he wants, im irrational and none of what i say matters. he says im in a bad mood when really im not i just dont find it fair that i have to wait for him.
Road Rage Posted February 25, 2007 Posted February 25, 2007 Well hucklebuck, he must be on to something because you are still with him. A man gotta do what a man gotta do. If it means treating a woman like crap will keep her around, then that`s better for a guy than being lonely. You want advice? Kick him to the curb and be done with it. it`s as easy as that.
BeckyMP Posted February 25, 2007 Posted February 25, 2007 He makes you wait to eat when you are hungry and then tells you that you treat him like crap? This guy sounds kind of manipulative. How long have you been with him? Maybe it's time to reconsider the relationship.
Walk Posted February 26, 2007 Posted February 26, 2007 I like how he denies her food, a necessity to survive, then finds fault in her but can't pin point what those might be. Tell ya what... you want to get your point across (since he's not listening to your words) then next time this happens, grab your coat and shoes and head out for breakfast without him. One of two things will happen. He'll either figure out really quick that he better get his arse moving if he wants to be with you. Or he doesn't want to be with you and he'll use it as an excuse to dump you. Either way, at least a decision will have been made. All you two are doing is dancing around in circles waiting for the other to make the first move. So show some spirit, some strength. You're an independent woman with a lot to offer the world, use that strength to get what you need. If that means breakfast, then go get it. If that means a new man, then do that too. And for Gods sake, if you know he's causing your cat discomfort or pain, then stop him. Your bf isn't a saint. No one conferred diety status on him. He's human, and he's hurting something YOU love. Reinforce your boundaries. There are limits, and his pathetic excuses for his behavior are not satisfactory. You don't need excuses, you need change. And he either starts, or you need to find a real man who has the balls to take his woman out to breakfast, and who's secure enough in his masculinity to not have to torture pets. You're a smart woman. Don't allow him to treat you, or your pets, as objects for his amusement. Show him that he either starts acting like a man or he'll be gone from your life.
Pretty Fly Posted February 26, 2007 Posted February 26, 2007 find a real man who has the balls to take his woman out to breakfast LOL! Not sure it requires balls to take someone out for breakfast
Pretty Fly Posted February 26, 2007 Posted February 26, 2007 You're an independent woman with a lot to offer the world, use that strength to get what you need... If that means a new man, then do that too. I don't mean this to be a criticism, but it's interesting what you've said there. You say she's an independent woman, but then imply that after she's left him, she has to find a new man. Why not just be independent for a bit? This just made me think of that "Serial Monogamy" thread the other day.
techgirl Posted February 26, 2007 Posted February 26, 2007 that's really crappy of him. i'd start doing things without him. if you take his crap, he'll give you crap.
Trialbyfire Posted February 26, 2007 Posted February 26, 2007 Yup, go out for breakfast by yourself and then when he wants to eat at 4 pm, tell him he's treating you like crap... As for animal cruelty, don't stand for it, no matter what. I would tell him to back off the cat now and not to ever touch her again. Only cowards would abuse an animal less than 1/10th of his size.
Walk Posted February 26, 2007 Posted February 26, 2007 I don't mean this to be a criticism, but it's interesting what you've said there. You say she's an independent woman, but then imply that after she's left him, she has to find a new man. Why not just be independent for a bit? This just made me think of that "Serial Monogamy" thread the other day. I wasn't implying she needed to find one today in order to leave this one tomorrow. Just that in the future... a month, a year, two decades... she could find someone else who would have enough common decency to realize a hungry partner should be able to get some food... and not 12 hours after the fact. Besides... I'd love to believe that people are independent and don't need someone in their lives... but if that were honestly the fact, then a woman would've ditched a guy like this a long time ago and been happy being by herself. Love only holds so much sway over a person... the rest is fear of being alone, fear of being unwanted, fear of the unknown. Doesn't make someone a "bad" person for being that way, just means they have some work still to do on themselves. And until that aspect can be conquered, then work within the limitations. If you can't be alone, then at least find someone who will treat you with some respect and common decency.
guin_girl Posted February 26, 2007 Posted February 26, 2007 also hes mean to my cat even though i tell him to stop it, that he's hurting her, he doesnt listen says im overreacting. Any "man" that is cruel to animals is generally cruel to people too! To physically abuse an innocent animal is unacceptable, and that he's "verbally abusing" you should be unacceptable as well. You stand up for your cat, you need to stand up for yourself. If you two end up together with children, they will be the next in his cycle of abuse. Get out now!
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