Guest Posted March 2, 2007 Posted March 2, 2007 My words of advice: 1. If you aren't only attracted to asian men, don't limit yourself to "the asian man market". I know 3 guys who're married to Indian girls and one who is in a serious relationship with 1. None of them act in the way you say this guys do towards you. I've been out with an Indian girl myself. She broke it off with me because she was concerned about what I'd think about the whole "pressure to get married" thing and leave her in the lurch just when it was expected she should be married and hence she'd be back at square 1. This was a real shame as I thought we had something really special. So - these guys that are married to indian girls - are they white? or asian? I just find it very hard/daunting trying to get a white man? They havnt ever paid an interst - is this because they think we arent intersted or just the way it is in general? Are white/non asian guys open to dating indian women.The presssure to get married/lifestyle/habits can be offputting I guess. How long did you go out with her? Did you find anything else "weird" about her?
Moose Posted March 2, 2007 Posted March 2, 2007 gutted, you need to get away from that neanderthal indian culture...it is simply brainwashing. Be thankful you didn't marry him you would have probably been set up for a lot more hurt than you have now You wanting to get married at all cost is because of the stupid culture you were raised in...it's much better to be single and happy than married and miserable. Is that all Socrates? I don't think her being an Indian or her culture had anything to do with this. She's experienced a bad apple. This doesn't mean the whole bushel is bad....jeeeezzzz....your posts / (advice)...
Pretty Fly Posted March 2, 2007 Posted March 2, 2007 So - these guys that are married to indian girls - are they white? or asian? Sorry, yes, that was my point, should've made it a bit clearer - all white, British, bar one who's French. Though one of the couples didn't get married until after the girl's father died, as he was dead set against it. I just find it very hard/daunting trying to get a white man? They havnt ever paid an interst - is this because they think we arent intersted or just the way it is in general? Are white/non asian guys open to dating indian women.The presssure to get married/lifestyle/habits can be offputting I guess. It's odd you should ask this! I think because I have blonde hair and blue eyes, I find the polar opposite attractive in a woman - so dark hair, dark eyes, tanned/olive skin, so I often find myself being attracted to Indian girls. However, if I'm on a night out, I only ever seem to see asian girls with asian guys, so I assumed the same as you, but the other way round - that asian girls are not normally attracted to white guys, and that the girl I went out with was the exception rather than the rule. How long did you go out with her? Did you find anything else "weird" about her? It was relatively short, I guess - about 3 months. I actually found it quite endearing that she was willing to go against all these traditions to be with me. But the marriage thing did get in the way, as 3 months isn't that long and I didn't really understand what the issue was, so I wasn't able to reassure her that the stuff that was important to her (eg frequent big family get togethers) wouldn't scare me off. I never met them, but her parents, from what I can gather were relatively laid back. Though she did mention a few times that some of her friends couldnt see us together as they wouldn't approve because they were very "traditionalist". Also, one day we were out and a group of asian lads were walking towards us and as they past us they said something I didn't understand. She told me that they'd said "why don't you date someone your own race" in Gujarati! I think there's enough problems in the world without people creating additional ones based on silly things like that!
Island Girl Posted March 2, 2007 Posted March 2, 2007 I am NOT exaggerating about the cr*p i get from the so called friends/family support network. The women my age ( from the uk) contiously ask why im not married - like i have cancer>? they then make very bitchy comments like - sooner or later you are not going to be able to have kids.........the men are just as bad....they only consider fertile 20 yearolds. I thought Bridget Jones's Diary was just a joke! Y'know, when she goes to the dinner party with all the other couples and they all ask her why there are "so many single women in their thirties nowadays"-? I guess not. Wow what a lot of crap to deal with. And it is about your personal life and choices. Yuck. All I can say about the getting married part is focus on the AFTER. The wedding is beautiful, blah blah blah - and then you have to live together for the rest of your life. I'm sure if you really think about how it would be to live in that house with that man, that had you paying for everything and treating you badly until your dying day, you'll see the brighter side of things. It would be such a miserable life wouldn't it?
CardPlay3r Posted March 2, 2007 Posted March 2, 2007 Is that all Socrates? I don't think her being an Indian or her culture had anything to do with this. She's experienced a bad apple. This doesn't mean the whole bushel is bad....jeeeezzzz....your posts / (advice)... I know you love to attack me and that's cool, but the OP has a serious problem here which shouldn't be berated... how much do you know about indian culture? I personally know quite alot that is why I dared judge it.
Guest Posted March 3, 2007 Posted March 3, 2007 PRETTY FLY - are you from the UK. I would much much much rather be with a non asian man. Im sick to death of trying please whole families (including grandparents), having my family/age/career being held agaisnt me. The asian lot are very hypocritical. They want the best for their daughters yet raise their sons in the complete opposite way to the type of son in laws they want for their daughters. Yes i have huge problems because I dont want to give up on everything for the sake of a married label. I just dont see any interest from them. Any hints on catching one? I hate life.
Pretty Fly Posted March 5, 2007 Posted March 5, 2007 PRETTY FLY - are you from the UK. Yes, i am. I'm from Manchester and I live in London. One of the couples I mentioned before are from and live in Manchester - so it's not just a "London Cosmopolitan" thing. Actually, I just thought, i know an Indian girl who's sister is married to a Scottish guy who's white and my ex's mum's sister is also seeing a white guy. So it's not a rarity. From what you write, I get the impression - for want of a better phrase - that you might "want it too much". May sound a bit contrived, but give yourself some time to adjust to a different way of thinking, that is, you want to meet a great guy and if all goes well, get married as a by-product. Also, at 30, you are not old and not "past it". And start (or do it more if you do it already) meeting and hanging out with people of any race, just so you get to know guys who are non-asian. Take some steps to start the journey, don't be in a rush to complete it!
Guest Posted March 5, 2007 Posted March 5, 2007 yeh i am in a hurry. i think its hard not be when people plug so much negativity into you. In London its very very hard to catch a white man. In the bars the competition is fierce and they go for the blonde bimbo's.
Pretty Fly Posted March 5, 2007 Posted March 5, 2007 yeh i am in a hurry. i think its hard not be when people plug so much negativity into you. Then I suggest distancing yourself from the people that are sending the negativity your way. Or even confronting them and saying that their pressure is not helpful. Finding someone you want to marry should be an enjoyable experience and not something you need to rush through to get it over and done with as soon as possible!! Wouldn't you rather take your time and get it right than rush into something and be miserable and regret it? In London its very very hard to catch a white man. Why do you use the word "catch"? In the bars the competition is fierce and they go for the blonde bimbo's. Is this a common opinion of Asian girls? The majority of guys I know prefer brunettes! And they also prefer intelligent women. Don't tar everyone with the same brush.
Recommended Posts