finishign with someone and really meaning it at the time but regretting badly later

[emmaUK]

has any one ever finished with someone that they had been with for a while. really felt at the time it was for the best and wanted to stick to your decision no matter now much the other person tried to keep you and presuead yuo other wise.

 

then over time when the other person started to show less interest and moved on a little... then you suddenly though "what the hell did i do.. was i going crackers when i ended it".

then the roles reversed and it was you doing the chasing to try and get them back.

 

how often does this actually happen if at the time of ending it and for the first few weeks without them yuo were pretty sure you made the right decision??

[stace79]

That is not suddenly realizing what you had or missing the person...that is just missing the attention you used to get from someone else pursuing you. If it was meant to be, you wouldn't have felt the need to break it off to begin with. We tend to only remember the good memories and forget all the reasons the relationship didn't work in the first place. My advice for your sake and the sake of the other person's feelings is to LET them continue moving on. A second attempt would only serve to hurt them more, because the same problems you had that broke you up previously will still be there.

[IThinkIllGoToBoston]

If it was meant to be, you wouldn't have felt the need to break it off to begin with.

 

 

thats not necessarily true.

sometimes people need time apart to gain some perspective, and its still "meant to be."

men and women think differently, it is biologically, scientifically and psychologically proven by studies of brain activity, hormones, and size of different brain anatomy.

 

Women think more emotionally and can verbalize these emotions, men think spatially and tend to choose their quest for self-affirmation over anything else, including emotion. Also -- men are very sensitive to their "masculinity," so when a female is emotional, or starts pouting, or looking at him differently, he may take this personally (since she used to look at him happily and make him feel good, to look at him with any negative emotion can shame him, even if its her that did something wrong, or if its her who is unhappy) and react in a manner that is as if he is putting up "a mask." In many ways he is. He's shielding himself from processing the negative emotions that hurt his pride and self-worth.

 

Sometimes, it takes being apart in order to realize that you've taken one thought and one way of thinking and ran with it --- even though its all just a misunderstanding.

 

while it may not be "meant to be," often, if you've been together for a long time, it can stlll have a happy ending. You both just needed a little clarity.

[Zankon]

it really depends on the person. It actually happened to me.

 

I broke up with my ex and at that time I couldnt be more sure that that was what I wanted. 2 weeks later she asked me to come back and I stuck to my guns. 3rd week she asked me if I was done with my stupidities and we should get back together. I had some doubts but then I said no.

 

It's been 5 weeks now and almost everyday I think to myself that I screwed up especially that she doesn't txt me anymore. And I had the superpowered feeling of talking to her but somehow I managed to control myself and maintain NC.

 

So I wrote down all the reasons why I broke up with her and everytime I read the list I get the same feeling when we first broke up.

 

Now I realized that when I miss her I actually miss companionship and having someone there with me all the time. It's the loneliness that's killing me not her leaving...

 

I'm still working on the loneliness part but I m positive that we can't be together for all the good reasons I wrote down.