BurriedAlive Posted February 24, 2007 Posted February 24, 2007 You guys are not going to believe this..... Last night we all went out for drinks after work (including MM) and then a few of us (MM went home to W) went our for diner and the night kept going. I ended up having sex with MM's much younger single brother!!! This is the first time I have had sex with anyone other than MM since my H and I split up. We were both pretty drunk and it started with Kissing and one thing led to another, bla, bla, bla. So, MM's B and I made a pact when the making out started that this would be a one night deal and that we would pretend it didn't happen on Monday. In all likelihood, there are 3 other coworkers that know about this since they were in the house at the time. Do I tell MM about this????? He encourages me to go out with other guys all the time and I have made up stories about me doing it with other guys before. We are now trying to make the A entirely about sex - no love and it is working. I am nowhere near as attached as I used to be. I guess part of me wants to tell him and maybe evoke a little jealousy but the other part of me wants to use this as another step of detachment. So it's either I tell MM and it may be 100% over after he hears it or I don't, hope no one says anything and if it does get back to him, DENY, DENY, DENY. Any thoughts????
LucreziaBorgia Posted February 24, 2007 Posted February 24, 2007 He encourages me to go out with other guys all the time and I have made up stories about me doing it with other guys before. Eventually your MM will hear about what happened. This will not make your MM jealous. Instead, it will likely send him into a rage, even if what you have is "just sex". Having sex behind someone's back is one thing. Having sex with their brother is quite another. You can deny, deny, deny all you want but there are four other people who know better and will likely have no problem letting your MM know the truth. Heck, I'm sure that not only MM will hear about it. Your story is likely going to be the talk of the office for a while.
whichwayisup Posted February 24, 2007 Posted February 24, 2007 Seems you like drama and games, because sleeping with the MM's single brother is just icing on the cake. You are fooling yourself when you say - "We are now trying to make the A entirely about sex - no love and it is working. I am nowhere near as attached as I used to be." and then the next sentence you say - " guess part of me wants to tell him and maybe evoke a little jealousy but the other part of me wants to use this as another step of detachment." The part I hilited in bold isn't showing that you are detached - It says you want him to react and fight for you. If you DID feel more detached, then you honestly wouldn't care what the MM thought at all. You wouldn't have the desire to try to make him jealous. ... You'd do what you want, when you want and NOT discuss it with him, YOUR personal life is YOUR business... If you want to detach yourself from him, STOP having sex with the guy! You not only are hurting yourself more and more, you're screwing a MM knowing full well he is married. IF you really feel it's "just" sex, then end it. Sleeping with his brother, you think that's a healthy situation? Does the single brother know you've been sleeping with his married brother? Also, jumping out of an A right into the arms of someone else isn't going to help you get over the MM. Especially if the other guy is the MM's brother.
GreenEyedLady Posted February 24, 2007 Posted February 24, 2007 Oh girl...you have got yourself into some mess... Don't tell MM...if he finds out, he finds out... And after all HE'S the one who's married, not you...
Author BurriedAlive Posted February 24, 2007 Author Posted February 24, 2007 Nobody knows about the A so single brother doesn't know about MM & I. As the day goes on, I really do care less and less what MM thinks. If he can sex with W, then it shouldn't matter who I have sex with. I think I won't say anything and see what happens. If he finds out, he finds out. I don't want to be the one to tell him.
whichwayisup Posted February 24, 2007 Posted February 24, 2007 Well, seeing as the brother doesn't know about your affair with his brother, if they are close, he MAY tell his bro that he slept with you.
norajane Posted February 24, 2007 Posted February 24, 2007 I guess part of me wants to tell him and maybe evoke a little jealousy but the other part of me wants to use this as another step of detachment. Sleeping with MM's brother was a way for you to get back at your MM for wanting your relationship to be only about sex. What better way to hurt him, right? Odds are, though, he won't be hurt as much as disgusted with you. I don't know what to advise you. If no one knows about you and MM, then someone in this group of friends will probably mention to him what happened after he left. Gossip moves quickly. I think it might be best for you to consider your affair over. Why bother with steps of detachment - just end it.
NoIDidn't Posted February 24, 2007 Posted February 24, 2007 You know, men are much more disapproving than they put on. If MM finds out, he's likely to really throw you under the bus with his brother and tell him that you are nothing more than a slut and that he is glad that he realized that before he let YOU destroy his M. He may even say it to your face. I don't know that I believe that his brother didn't know. Men talk just like women. And they play games, just like women. Put your big girl panties on for this one. You are more than likely going to need them.
pricillia Posted February 24, 2007 Posted February 24, 2007 I don't know you guys... having sex is such an intimate thing between two people... passionate yes but intimate as well... I could not be with more then one person at a time, how is this even possible for some?
Karma24 Posted February 24, 2007 Posted February 24, 2007 Yes, keep using the brother and don't tell MM. That way you can detach from the MM and then dump both!
whichwayisup Posted February 24, 2007 Posted February 24, 2007 I don't know you guys... having sex is such an intimate thing between two people... passionate yes but intimate as well... I could not be with more then one person at a time, how is this even possible for some?[/QUOTE] MW/MM's do it all the time while cheating on their spouses.
Trialbyfire Posted February 24, 2007 Posted February 24, 2007 To the OP, The impression I'm getting about your post is that you are doing this for two reasons: 1) Revenge sex; 2) To stimulate an instinctual reaction of males fighting for a female. This is not healthy for any of you. Time to reconsider your actions. I can see no good coming from this and only heartbreak all around.
pricillia Posted February 24, 2007 Posted February 24, 2007 I don't know you guys... having sex is such an intimate thing between two people... passionate yes but intimate as well... I could not be with more then one person at a time, how is this even possible for some?[/QUOTE] MW/MM's do it all the time while cheating on their spouses. I know it, I know it... but if I were married and I fell out of love, I would end it first...
Author BurriedAlive Posted February 25, 2007 Author Posted February 25, 2007 Maybe I am just trying to learn to have sex like a guy! And I really hate the old double standard here. Of course I am a slut for sleeping with two brothers. If the tables were turned, no one would call me anything like that if I was a guy having sex with two sisters. Come on people, that's just mean. Whatever the underlying reason is here for why I did what I did, right now I am feeling pretty okay. I don't feel angry at MM for the first time in a long time and I don't feel hurt either. I have decided not to tell him because I would gain nothing. As far as brother is concerned, we are two single people that decided to have a one night stand. It happens all the time!!!! I am not cheating on anyone and MM has NO right to expect me to be faithful to him. I think that no matter what, I have come a long way from where I was 2 months ago.
pricillia Posted February 25, 2007 Posted February 25, 2007 Maybe I am just trying to learn to have sex like a guy! And I really hate the old double standard here. Of course I am a slut for sleeping with two brothers. If the tables were turned, no one would call me anything like that if I was a guy having sex with two sisters. Come on people, that's just mean. Whatever the underlying reason is here for why I did what I did, right now I am feeling pretty okay. I don't feel angry at MM for the first time in a long time and I don't feel hurt either. I have decided not to tell him because I would gain nothing. As far as brother is concerned, we are two single people that decided to have a one night stand. It happens all the time!!!! I am not cheating on anyone and MM has NO right to expect me to be faithful to him. I think that no matter what, I have come a long way from where I was 2 months ago. yes this could all be true if... The brother was aware tht you slept with his Married brother, do you think that he would have still been with you? If they are close, I think not! Plus you are a woman and learning to have sex like a man...makes no sense because you are a woman not a man. I understand that MM has no reason for you to be faithfull to him, yeah but think about it... you had sex with his brother isn't that just a little too close for comfort? You should not compare your sexual romps to a mans sexual romps because men and women think about sex differently. Also you said that the brother will not tell anyone, but how do you know for sure. Why not just stop seeing MM alltogether because by the sounds of it you do not love him if you can easily sleep with his bro!
vanilla chai Posted February 25, 2007 Posted February 25, 2007 It's not bad enough to be sleeping with a married man,now you gone and slept with his brother.
pricillia Posted February 25, 2007 Posted February 25, 2007 It's not bad enough to be sleeping with a married man,now you gone and slept with his brother. ok VC we know! don't be a broken record!
vanilla chai Posted February 25, 2007 Posted February 25, 2007 ok VC we know! don't be a broken record! Get over yourself
pricillia Posted February 25, 2007 Posted February 25, 2007 Get over yourself Ok I will if you will;)
whichwayisup Posted February 25, 2007 Posted February 25, 2007 Maybe I am just trying to learn to have sex like a guy! And I really hate the old double standard here. Yeah but that doesn't give you the right to screw someone else's husband. Go screw single guys then...As many as you want. Think of this guys wife, k. I mean, could you look his wife in the eye and say "I just wanted to be like a man, sorry, so I screwed your husband. It didn't mean anything, it was just sex." Yeah, right...Thought so.
SadandConfusedWA Posted February 25, 2007 Posted February 25, 2007 I once slept with a guy's best friend to try and make THE guy jelous. When he found out he was so disgusted with both of us that to this day he has not spoken to me or the best friend. Just saying, trying to make someone jelous can backfire especially when there is family/best friends involved.
pricillia Posted February 25, 2007 Posted February 25, 2007 Yeah I think that Op is fooling herself in thinking Hey a man can do it why can't I.. I know that I am not innocent here by any means but just be carefull as far as your reputation goes... it seems like you are all friends, if it gets out that you slept with both brothers it may not be so great for you!
Author BurriedAlive Posted February 25, 2007 Author Posted February 25, 2007 Yeah but that doesn't give you the right to screw someone else's husband. Go screw single guys then...As many as you want. Think of this guys wife, k. I mean, could you look his wife in the eye and say "I just wanted to be like a man, sorry, so I screwed your husband. It didn't mean anything, it was just sex." Yeah, right...Thought so. I didn't "screw" someone else's husband for sport. The A has been going for almost a year. I ended my M shortly after it started. This A has been one of the most difficult experiences of my entire life. I have loved MM more than anyone, ever. I know it is a dead end and I am trying to move on. He is the one that needs to look his wife in the eye and tell her he has cheated on her repeatedly. I will never tell her, it's not my job. If I did tell her, it would only be out of revenge on MM, nothing else. I think I have hurt more in the last 6 months than a normal person would in their entire life. So, WWIU, if you are so interested in what my appology to W would be, you have come to the wrong place. Or maybe I have. And I would be lying to her if I told her it was just sex. I am sure she has heard enough lies to last her a lifetime.
pricillia Posted February 25, 2007 Posted February 25, 2007 yes but BA... why his brother? For me personally that is just too close for comfort... When you all went out was his wife with you guys as well? I just think that you are playing with fire... just be carefull
Jinxx Posted February 25, 2007 Posted February 25, 2007 There is no reason for you to say anything -- unless of course you want to. If the brothers are close, chances are he might already know. Men are worse gossips then women. It happened.... for whatever reason it happened. Use this experience as a tool to move forward with your life and try and put it behind you. Not easy, I know but still... you can't change the past.
Recommended Posts